Aspergers

[rtf]

Hey guys. I'm wondering if any of you has been diagnosed with aspergers (IE on paper) yet have managed to obtain success in social situations (including, but not limited to, success with women). I'm researching this and would love a reply from any of you who were clinically diagnosed but have gained social awareness and confidence.

Just a small paragraph will do... whether you get laid or not! I'd love to hear about it.

 

[FairShake]

Hey guys. I'm wondering if any of you has been diagnosed with aspergers (IE on paper) yet have managed to obtain success in social situations (including, but not limited to, success with women). I'm researching this and would love a reply from any of you who were clinically diagnosed but have gained social awareness and confidence.

Just a small paragraph will do... whether you get laid or not! I'd love to hear about it.

I haven't but a guy know has. He is nice, VERY nice almost to the point of absurdity. Extremely polite and usually quiet unless engaged. He has told me that because his jokes are often misunderstood or applied incorrectly he doesn't joke much but laughs alot so people think he has a good sense of humor. Doesn't look you in the eye much but obviously alot of people don't at first. Generally his quirks are overlooked because he is genuine. He can be annoying as hell once you get to know him and he opens up, but, again, a good guy so friends let it slide.

FWIW he is married.

 

[Deep Dish]

I'm aspergic, professionally diagnosed.

I always sensed something was hugely wrong with me but couldn't figure out why, and learning about the diagnosis was instrumental because it gave me a road map of things to work on and self-awareness is "half of the battle." It's been four years and I've made tremendous progress, including holding engaging eye contact, alpha body language, and theory of mind (understanding social dynamics/knowing what people are thinking). Nobody can tell I'm aspergic unless I tell them, and I feel it no longer controls my life.

 

[sambwoy]

I have it. It's not easy. I can say, whilst trying not to feel sorry for myself, that my outlook is often bleak.

I find it difficult to look people in the eye because trust and confidence is difficult.

 

[jon3947]

My little sister has aspergers, i feel for you.
She has had years of therapy and is making remarkable improvements.
Most people who do not have experience in working with autistic children would be able to tell that she has Aspergers.
She has progressed from a girl who would have frequent outbursts and temper tantrums to a calmer and funnier girl. She still struggles with eye contact and frequently goes back to the beginning of her sentences and repeats them, but she has made remarkable progress.
I am posting this to let you know that if you work hard enough and get help from the right sources, anything is possible. DO NOT LET YOUR DIAGNOSIS HOLD YOU BACK!!!!
I have had hearing aids since birth and I am still able to do very well with girls BECAUSE of them. I have very strong confidence but I am still working on getting a lay.
Instead of letting your diagnosis hold you back, start being you, and find special ways to let your diagnosis HELP your progress with women. If any of you have siblings who are diagnosed with autism or are diagnosed with autism yourself, I would love to have you message me!

 

[BigJimbo]

Basically you are screwed when it comes to relationships.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbjrE_6W4ns&feature=related
A spooky movie where one of the characters has aspergers. Great if you are clueless about it. Opened my eyes. This video discusses just what this post is about! Hope you enjoy. Seems like some of the guys stalk females as a result of aspergers.

 

[sambwoy]

Through my youth girls laughed at me just for existing. I don't mean to come across as creepy and I can't help it. It would help if life wasn't so confusing.

When I was younger I used to be really up in arms about little **** like this on a daily basis, because when you were like 18 it was a big deal. It doesn’t help also that at that stage the girls in college are totally into stereotypical cute guys, so I didn’t have a cat in hell’s chance. I was struggling to be the kind of guy I wanted to be.

Actually was out the other day and wondering why my life generally sucks and I have degraded myself so low, to not have any positive outlook. My parents always big me up, but unfortunately life is not always like what they say. In real life being a polite nice-dresser and artistic doesn't get girls come to you. I have been living in Britain for all 24 years and I have recently come to accept that I am very much alone.

 

[drakeramore]

i feel you

Through my youth girls laughed at me just for existing. I don't mean to come across as creepy and I can't help it. It would help if life wasn't so confusing.

When I was younger I used to be really up in arms about little **** like this on a daily basis, because when you were like 18 it was a big deal. It doesn’t help also that at that stage the girls in college are totally into stereotypical cute guys, so I didn’t have a cat in hell’s chance. I was struggling to be the kind of guy I wanted to be.

Actually was out the other day and wondering why my life generally sucks and I have degraded myself so low, to not have any positive outlook. My parents always big me up, but unfortunately life is not always like what they say. In real life being a polite nice-dresser and artistic doesn't get girls come to you. I have been living in Britain for all 24 years and I have recently come to accept that I am very much alone.

I feel a lot like that as well. One thing I can tell you is that any girl that laughs at your mere existence (ie she doesnt know you and laughs at you for no apparent reason) is a stupid, full of herself biAtch and therefore doesnt deserve you sweating over her or feeling in any way depressed or frustrated because of her attitude towards you.
Now, I, myself, am not the happiest and most social person out there but I think I can give you some advice at least. Yeah, I also often feel alone but that doesnt necessarily mean that it is true. You never know what is going to happen and who you will meet around the corner. I think a very, very big thing is to stop feeling sorry for yourself and simply do something about your situation, something new, interesting and challenging. Chances are you may fail, but if you succeed you will definitely feel better about yourself and your self-esteem will go up. Even if you fail you can always try again, after all in this world almost nobody really cares sincerely about you and whether you will or will not be successful. So you might as well try to be. And if you fail, you will fail knowingly that, hey, at least you gave it your best shot.
One more thing I could advise you is to start working out and do it religiously. You will see the results very soon - especially in the summer girls WILL start checking you out. Start running or any other sport you find exciting. You may meet some new people, maybe make a few new friends, you never know. Also, be humble and dont expect to always be on top, it will never happen, be willing to learn new things from people who seem to know what they are talking about - sometimes even it seems that these people dont exist, they are out there, you just have to find them. It is not easy, it never was and it will never be. For anybody. Yes, some people have it easier because they are given advantage regarding their starting positions to the journey we call life. But in the long run, I believe, if you find it in you, you could catch up with the successful ones and even overtake them. The race is long.
"But that's just me and I could be wrong, maybe (you having Asperger) is a terrible tragedy!" - moviequote, one of my favourite movies ever.
Anyway, just my own humble opinion. Also, this post is not only addresed to you but to me as well! If you have to go down, go down swinging!

 

[Xanthus]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers in early 2010. I read up on it and found much of the similarities associated with the syndrome in myself. That was two years prior in '08. Unfortunately, I found this out much later than I would have liked.

My parents couldn't understand why I wasn't more active and social. I used to hang out with friends up into my early 20's, but once the real world started creeping in I stayed at home in front of the computer instead. My dad said, "he'll grow out of this". Well, guess what dad, I'm still here in front of the computer.

Both my parents knew I was extremely talented in audio/video productions and I've proved it many times. But I've always had trouble reading people and adjusting to the various personalities out there. I usually felt better just staying away from it all. No insults to be heard, no negativity to deal with which would mean nothing for my mind to fester on.

I've missed out on so much in life because of this Aspergers that I'm unsure of how to rebound. I can socialize with people and make good conversation if I wanted to (and I have). Though I'm at a point now where interaction seems rather foreign to me.

I'm a genuinely nice guy too. Not "balls cut off" nice, just a well-mannered gentleman who will help an old lady get down the stairs or open doors for others and whatnot. Although, I do see how my niceness can be misread sometimes. I once gave this guy a ride around the corner from the car shop because no one else was available to do that. The workers there looked at me strange. I don't blame them. Why would a stranger do something like that? Well, because I like to help others if they're in need of it. But, the average people don't think in those terms and they sense you've got something up your sleeve. That's the type of world we live in. Blame it on the sick minded bastards for f*cking things up for the good intentioned folk.

It's interesting when you've got autism, in any form. You begin to look at life differently. All I see this world as now is a place to mate and continue the cycle. Really, isn't that the true purpose of life? To reproduce? That's it. All of this other stuff I call, "The recreation for the procreation". It's basically a big sandbox that we're all playing in. Part of the game is to track down the opposite sex and mate with them before your time expires.

On a positive note, I wish you all a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. When you're spending time with your family, please remember this.. Be thankful for what you do have. That especially goes for your relatives, regardless of how well you get along with each other. Don't take them for granted thinking that they'll be here forever. Get to appreciate your time with them before they move on. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

- Xanthus

 

[blueline]

I used to think I had asperger's, but really, it was just that I escaped all situations that would involve interaction with women because I was terrified of rejection. As a result of this nervousness, I would be extremely awkward around them and any mixed gender group.