Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Asking Someone out

Finch

Don Juan
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Hey guys,

Well things are going great with this girl that I'm currently "with". I mean things couldn't be better. I went to this girls house yesterday to see her before she left for Arizona and she's totally into me. I'm just a little worried because she's been talking to this guy on Myspace who's from Arizona and she messaged him telling him that she'd call him while she was there. Well she's going to be there with her family so I kind of doubt that she'll even talk to this guy, but still I'm a little concerned. That's besides the point though, or is it?

Anyway, I shouldn't be concerned at all because this girl has been texting me about how she misses me and whatnot. I know she's totally into me and I'm ready to take things to the next level. This girl is actually worth dating after all these girls I have hooked up with. I am absolutely the catch and she is the catch for me. Things are balance and good. I just don't know how to ask her out. I'm taking her to prom in less than two weeks and I'm planning on asking her that night if things go well. But how do I do this the DJ way? I just don't want to come off desperate. I know she'll say yes, but you all know that if I come off desperate then I'll lose my image in the process. So what is the best way of doing this without seeming too overtly ****y and not desperate?

I'm ready for a LTR and I know she's ready, despite just coming out of one. What do you guys think? Oh yeah, to clarify things I mean to ask her out as my girlfriend. Not as in a date.. I've already done that.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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disguise

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Answer - DON'T.

Originally posted by Finch
I know she'll say yes,
If you know she would say yes, what's the point in asking?
OF COURSE you'll come across as desperate, and there's no way to ask that question without it being an awkward question.
If you are 'with' her then you don't have anything to ask.

If what you want is for her not to be 'seeing' other guys; clarify the point. Say something along the lines of "I'm not going to get jealous, but at this point I would prefer you not to 'see' other guys in a way that would be disrespectful of me; since I am being respectful of you now by not 'seeing' other girls." If she has a problem with that, (which would be essentially the same thing as her saying 'no' in the instance of you asking her out) then you can simply leave - dignity intact.
 
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Originally posted by crazyman50000
I thought this topic was going to be how to ask someone out.

Maybe Im just a bit stupid, but anyone under the age of 14 seems to just say "will you go out with me?"

Theres gotta be a way to ask the same question without sounding like a complete tool.
"... I'd like to spend some time getting to know you..."

"... We should go to dinner, I know this place with (insert emotional descriptive **** here)... "

"... You know, Sally, I have _fun_ when I'm around you... you make me feel... (insert appropriate emotional **** here).... but I'd like to see what you're like away from (Work/School/etc) ... we should do something together. Got a cell phone? Give me your number."
 

Finch

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Re: Re: Asking Someone out

Originally posted by disguise
Answer - DON'T.



If you know she would say yes, what's the point in asking?
OF COURSE you'll come across as desperate, and there's no way to ask that question without it being an awkward question.
If you are 'with' her then you don't have anything to ask.

If what you want is for her not to be 'seeing' other guys; clarify the point. Say something along the lines of "I'm not going to get jealous, but at this point I would prefer you not to 'see' other guys in a way that would be disrespectful of me; since I am being respectful of you now by not 'seeing' other girls." If she has a problem with that, (which would be essentially the same thing as her saying 'no' in the instance of you asking her out) then you can simply leave - dignity intact.
Awesome, you read my mind. That's what I was thinking. I mean I guess you're right about the whole assumption that we're commited to each other.
 
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