"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Asking Someone out

F

Finch

Don Juan
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Hey guys,

Well things are going great with this girl that I'm currently "with". I mean things couldn't be better. I went to this girls house yesterday to see her before she left for Arizona and she's totally into me. I'm just a little worried because she's been talking to this guy on Myspace who's from Arizona and she messaged him telling him that she'd call him while she was there. Well she's going to be there with her family so I kind of doubt that she'll even talk to this guy, but still I'm a little concerned. That's besides the point though, or is it?

Anyway, I shouldn't be concerned at all because this girl has been texting me about how she misses me and whatnot. I know she's totally into me and I'm ready to take things to the next level. This girl is actually worth dating after all these girls I have hooked up with. I am absolutely the catch and she is the catch for me. Things are balance and good. I just don't know how to ask her out. I'm taking her to prom in less than two weeks and I'm planning on asking her that night if things go well. But how do I do this the DJ way? I just don't want to come off desperate. I know she'll say yes, but you all know that if I come off desperate then I'll lose my image in the process. So what is the best way of doing this without seeming too overtly ****y and not desperate?

I'm ready for a LTR and I know she's ready, despite just coming out of one. What do you guys think? Oh yeah, to clarify things I mean to ask her out as my girlfriend. Not as in a date.. I've already done that.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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D

disguise

Don Juan
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Answer - DON'T.

Originally posted by Finch
I know she'll say yes,
Click to expand...
If you know she would say yes, what's the point in asking?
OF COURSE you'll come across as desperate, and there's no way to ask that question without it being an awkward question.
If you are 'with' her then you don't have anything to ask.

If what you want is for her not to be 'seeing' other guys; clarify the point. Say something along the lines of "I'm not going to get jealous, but at this point I would prefer you not to 'see' other guys in a way that would be disrespectful of me; since I am being respectful of you now by not 'seeing' other girls." If she has a problem with that, (which would be essentially the same thing as her saying 'no' in the instance of you asking her out) then you can simply leave - dignity intact.
 
H

HeimdallThorhammer

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Originally posted by crazyman50000
I thought this topic was going to be how to ask someone out.

Maybe Im just a bit stupid, but anyone under the age of 14 seems to just say "will you go out with me?"

Theres gotta be a way to ask the same question without sounding like a complete tool.
Click to expand...
"... I'd like to spend some time getting to know you..."

"... We should go to dinner, I know this place with (insert emotional descriptive **** here)... "

"... You know, Sally, I have _fun_ when I'm around you... you make me feel... (insert appropriate emotional **** here).... but I'd like to see what you're like away from (Work/School/etc) ... we should do something together. Got a cell phone? Give me your number."
 
F

Finch

Don Juan
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Re: Re: Asking Someone out

Originally posted by disguise
Answer - DON'T.



If you know she would say yes, what's the point in asking?
OF COURSE you'll come across as desperate, and there's no way to ask that question without it being an awkward question.
If you are 'with' her then you don't have anything to ask.

If what you want is for her not to be 'seeing' other guys; clarify the point. Say something along the lines of "I'm not going to get jealous, but at this point I would prefer you not to 'see' other guys in a way that would be disrespectful of me; since I am being respectful of you now by not 'seeing' other girls." If she has a problem with that, (which would be essentially the same thing as her saying 'no' in the instance of you asking her out) then you can simply leave - dignity intact.
Click to expand...
Awesome, you read my mind. That's what I was thinking. I mean I guess you're right about the whole assumption that we're commited to each other.
 
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