Asking Out In A Blunt Manner: Suggested?

[needstochange]

I wanted to ask this female out for a date soon. I have her number but she doesn't text back often, I'm guessing since she has a lot of friends and is busy. So I was gonna ask her during school whenever I speak to her. I don't feel like doing a...

Her: "I love riding bicycles, eating ice cream, and f*cking watch animal planet."

Me: "Oh hey we should do that this weekend."

type of thing because I want to set it up quick (the method mentioned above usually takes a little while) since I'll have limited time to do that. So I was thinking of doing it pretty blunt and after class. It wouldn't be very blunt and abrupt, but somewhat like that. Kind of like a "Hey are you busy this weekend? I was thinking we should hangout and watch a movie." Is this recommended? If so, how do I put in more emphasis on making it not sound like a "just friends" thing (although I do think me asking that the way I am is "hint" enough)?

 

[Plec07]

First off, why do you want to make it sounds like a "just friends" thing? If you make it seem like you just wanna be friends from the start, she's gonna get weirded out when it becomes obvious you want more.

Secondly, the simplist methods are usually the most effective, ask her to hang out. Be straight forward and confident, and she will most likely admire that you didn't beat around the bush or try and play games with her, not sure if she likes you or not.

Just be confident, it's not a big deal if she says yes or no, and you should show that in how you ask and your body language. Don't think it is a big deal, or it'll show.

 

[needstochange]

"If so, how do I put in more emphasis on making it NOT sound like a 'just friends' thing (although I do think me asking that the way I am is 'hint' enough)?"

I think you overlooked the "not" because I do NOT want it to come off as a "just friends hanging out".

I think she's interested in me since I make her laugh and we joke around often.

But yeah I was planning on being straightforward and confident like you mentioned. I was just asking because I usually never ask in an abrupt way. Thanks dude.

Question #2: How do I add more sexual interest and kino in while on a date? I have a hard time doing this?

 

[sageproduct]

Hey check out some of the recent posts in my field reports thread, I'm kinda having some similar issues with being more sexual n stuff. Igetit made some really good posts on there of advice, you should take a look.

 

[Plec07]

"If so, how do I put in more emphasis on making it NOT sound like a 'just friends' thing (although I do think me asking that the way I am is 'hint' enough)?"

You don't really need to ephasise this much. She will most likely assume it from the fact your asking just her and that it'll be just you two, not a group of you.

I think you overlooked the "not" because I do NOT want it to come off as a "just friends hanging out".

I did miss that bit sorry dude, I read it twice and still somehow missed it =/

Question #2: How do I add more sexual interest and kino in while on a date? I have a hard time doing this?

Well here's an example of what I typically do.

I often tease girls about whatever I can, and they'll usually try and throw something back. I consider myself fairly witty and always have a come back so eventually they'll start play hitting me.

When they do I'll pin them down on the chair/bed/sofa, even the floor lol with me straddling them, face real close and ask them if they're gonna be a good girl or if they need to be taught to behave.

If they say something along the lines of they need a lesson I'll bite their neck and then roll off. More often then not they'll jump on me and do the same back.

Another good technique is just to offer them a back massage. Sit behind them and massage away. When your hands get tired you can lean back and as you do just add some slight pressure to pull them back with you, usually they'll lean back onto you because they're so relaxed from the massage, at which point you put your arms around them. If they don't it's a sure sign they're not into you, or your lacking greatly in rapport. Though this only really works on a bed, or one hell of a big sofa.

note* It should go without saying don't do this in the middle of a cafe or the cinema, only for when your at a house =P

 

[needstochange]

Haha I'd try what you suggested but were going to a cinema and I haven't built much rapport yet. Plus I don't know how to give a massage We just talk in class since I sit next to her and I believe I can get further with her since we joke around often and whatnot.

Question 3: Any first date suggestions anyone have? I can only think of the theatre and the mall (I don't know about anyone else but the theatres are often connected or right next to a mall) :\ Something not too expensive and willl have us both something to speak on.

 

[Plec07]

Massages are easy, just rub their back and apply enough pressure for them to react, but not hurt them. People seem to always believe they don't know how to give a massage when it's one of the simplist things one can do.

I would answer your other question but right now I'm not in any condition to think much, been up for about 18 hours and driving for about 6 of them. Not to mention buzzing on caffene lol.

I'll reply later tonight or tomorrow if nobody else has already.

 

[Fedor]

Try going to see a movie on your first date? It doesn't need you to keep talking, so there's no awkward silences

 

[colombiandude]

KINO EVERY (cute or decent) GIRL YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH.
very good practice.

 

[needstochange]

Well looks like we won't be hanging out. From what my close friend who used to be close with her told me was that she said no. I'm going to ask if this other chick whom I've known for a bit if she wants to hang out too. She moved though so her getting here might be a challenge :\

But I really do need help with KINO! Anyone have good examples or videos with kino?

Oh and thanks sageproduct and igetit. The post in sexual talking is very helpful.

 

[colombiandude]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16712

 

[Audiophile]

Wait... your close friend told you she said no? Did you even ask her? Why didn't she tell you directly.

Also, don't ask a girl like this "I was thinking we should hangout and watch a movie", it sounds really indecisive, like you don't know if she will say yes or no.

Ask her what plans she has for the weekend, (I don't recommend this unless you can do it properly, speaking wise and body-language wise), and unless its something really important (like family related), pretend she doesn't have any plans and say "Okay, since you aren't busy, Let's go see [insert movie here] on [insert date here]".

It works if you have good rapport, and shows ****y and funny.

If you want to do it in a really blunt matter, just plain out ask her on a date. Honestly, if she likes you, she won't give a crap about how you ask her, she will just be ecstatic you did.

Since it didn't pan out, just move on, oh well, HER FVKING LOSS RIGHT?

You can't really give examples of kino, since it varies so much. A simply non-threatening example on how to initiate first contact is to simply touch a girl on her arm/shoulder and say "Hey [name]......" This works really well as a first initiation, and you can step it up while flirting by gradually getting more risque. What I mean by this is move your hand on her leg if you two are sitting, and then move it slghtly until it comes to a position until you two are both comfortable.

The #1 rule for kino:
DON"T LOOK WHERE YOU ARE TOUCHING HER (in a non sexual setting). If you are holding her hand, touching her arm... etc, don't look. It makes it seem as if you are uncomfortable with the situation at hand. Obviously if you want to give a small compliment like "I really like your earring/ring", then you can have a small reason to touch their hand/face.

If she is not receptive to kino, like she backs off, she is not interested and you should stop trying and find someone else.

Even shy girls who are somewhat interested will accept. From my experience, some high school girls don't reciprocate kino very well, probably due to shyness.

Hope I helped!

 

[needstochange]

No. I asked GirlIWantToDate if she wanted to hangout. She said "I don't know if I'm busy but text me later this week." I told my close friend who used to be GirlIWantToDate's close friend how that convo went and she said "Well basically she said no." But I'm certain that this close friend wouldn't lie to me.

It pretty much went like this:
Me: Hey are you busy this weekend?
Her: I don't know, how come?
Me: Oh 'cause I thought we should hangout this weekend if your not busy.
Her: Oh okay well I don't know because I was going to go to a party this weekend but text me later this week and I'll let you know.
Me: Alright then. See you later.

I said it in a casual way and I'm guessing my body followed the casualness so I didn't pay much attention to my body language. But I didn't have my back hunched over and my hands in my pocket and nervous-looking either. She seemed somewhat uncertain or unsure which helped me confirm she said no. I told my close friend our convo and she said "That means no. I know how she is and I've told her before that I can tell when she's lying." So I decided to say hey well f*ck it. She's missing out not me haha. It's an honor for me to allow someone to hangout with me so she should've took advantage of the opportunity is how I see it lol.

But damn kino is very difficult for me to understand. Like if me and a girl are hanging out, walking and talking, how would I do kino and when? I know it should come naturally but it's not when it's something foreign to me. Also thanks colombiandude but that Kino post from the DJ Bible wasn't helpful for me.

 

[Audiophile]

"
Me: Oh 'cause I thought we should hangout this weekend if your not busy.
Her: Oh okay well I don't know because I was going to go to a party this weekend but text me later this week and I'll let you know."

Theres your problem, you didn't ask as if you wanted it to be a date. In fact, you missed TWO opportunities here. She said she was going to a party, why not go with her?

But it seems she isn't too interested in you, if she was, she would have made an effort to do something with you.

Kino is hard to explain. You have to try to do it yourself. Do it when you feel is right. I'm not too great at it now, but the more you practice it, the better and more intuitive you get.

 

[colombiandude]

no problem yo. but basically just start by lightly touching the upper arms of chicks a bit longer than usual when going for a hug or for gettin their attention
and i dk as you go along and have the right mindset (which you did display, cuz shes missing out to hang out with you. girls just dont know it. which is why theyre dumb sometimes. in other words you know youre the best. which is good) you'll have more opportunities to get kino in and practice as girls just gravitate towards you. lol.

 

[needstochange]

If I asked if I should go to the party with her, I'd feel like I would've been inviting myself which I think makes me sound desperate. Plus it's like what you said, she would've made an effort to hangout if she really was interested. How do I ask if I wanted it to be a date? We don't talk much outside of school and we've never really hungout, how obvious could I have made it sound like a date? Hahaha.

Yeah I'll just start using my intuition more often when deciding to initiate kino.

 

[colombiandude]

welll depends what grade your in. cuz girls at different ages have different maturity levels in reality. and yea that would sound kinda wierd. just next her and focus on other things right now. one important thing is to always have something on the side. show her that you really dont need her in your life. that you really have other things going on, such as a sport or something. and yea definitely if she were interested then she would have made an effort to hang out.

 

[needstochange]

no problem yo. but basically just start by lightly touching the upper arms of chicks a bit longer than usual when going for a hug or for gettin their attention
and i dk as you go along and have the right mindset (which you did display, cuz shes missing out to hang out with you. girls just dont know it. which is why theyre dumb sometimes. in other words you know youre the best. which is good) you'll have more opportunities to get kino in and practice as girls just gravitate towards you. lol.

See that's where I get lost. I didn't understand that whole "touch their upper arms" example. By touch to get attention do you mean lightly tap? That hugging part is where I get lost at too. But, like you said, I'll get more and more practice in eventually. I just need to go out and meet new women.

Which leads me to my next question:
How do I cold approach girls at school and at places such as the mall? My only issue is opening. I know I can say hi and ask, "What school do you go to?" but are there any others I can use? The "What school...?" opening obviously wouldn't work if I'm cold approaching a girl at my school, so how do I open at school?

 

[colombiandude]

The point of kino is to subtly make girls realize youre a sexual being so a light tap wont work. you have to get the point across by like holding her upper arm i guess until she looks at you and you keep it there a second longer after you get her attention. but dont look at your hand. the upper back is another good spot.
And i still need to build up the confidence to do that ****. im still a pvssy. :\

 

[AlexLefty]

Well, although i've only been a member of the site for like a day and before this site i didn't even know what kino was (except i knew you had to initiate touch on a girl), i think kino comes pretty natural to me, but that's just me. So here are a few scenarios that i can think of using kino.

1) This very one I did today. I walked into class, sat down next to this girl, said hello, looked at her, put my hand lightly on her shoulder area and said "your hair looks really nice today" all the while keeping my hand on her shoulder and then letting go

2) In my mind the easiest way to use kino. You're trailing or walking behind a girl in the hall or something, and you move up to talk to her so you put your hand on her shoulder/back area and say "hey [babe]"

3) If you guys are sitting down or just in general walking around and you decide to go look at something or are going somewhere (such as just leaving your school to go to the movies) place your hand lightly on her back for a kind of extended period of time as if to say, 'hey lets get going', and gently push her along tell you guys are underway. Or do this to be polite and let her go in front of you like when your opening a door

4) If you guys are standing around and talking and she makes a joke, kind of move around like in a swayingish motion as your laughing (dont over exadurate it haha, just do kind of the normal body movements you would do) and place your hand on her should and arm while you laugh or say 'wow your so funny!'

Sooo yeah
I am by no means an expert at all, or even close, but those are just my 2 cents of kino in my short experience of it
-I would be interested to hear what others think of these techniques..especially colombiandude and audiophil cause you guys seem to know what you're doing

By the way, what does kino stand for anyways?