Asking out chick in front of her friend while other chicks you chatted with are chiming in

[GeeMale]

I was at a coffee shop yesterday. Chat with few different chicks in my vicinity while with their friends.

I remember particularly I was chatting with this one chick and her friend later. We were having fun and they were kind of talking loud enough where the other chicks were always eavesdropping on our conversation.

She showed interest where I would normally ask her out, but it was with her friend and other chicks with their friends lookin in. Eventually we said bye after a a fun and connecting conversation and they left. I chickened out thinking my SMV would've went way down in front of other chicks if she said I would've /couldve asked out earlier/later that day...which I didn't cause I was kinda pissed from situation and it put me off from asking other chicks later...

What do y'all do in this situation as far as frame? I kind of regret it (yea I know I rejection is better than regret). Next time I'm in a situation like that I'm going to ask her out regardless just for getting mad at this one to make up for it lol

 

[2Rocky]

That is the point in the conversation you look at the one you are interested in and instead of asking her out, say: "I've got to get going. Walk with me for a sec? "

Then get enough distance away, but usually in view of her buddies, that you feel comfortable asking her for her number, or making a date for later. By isolating her this way you are showing her that you are going away, triggering her desire to not "lose" you. You don't have to prove anything in front of her friends. Besides she's gonna tell them everything anyway.....

I had a couple of women do this to me and it made me realize I could do it just as well.

 

[Serenity]

I don't see the problem. So what if her friends hear it? It's not about whether to ask or not, it's how you ask. If you're casual enough about it almost everything works. If you confidently act like it's a perfectly normal question and you put no extra attention on it then very very few others would think differently.

It's like the people getting access to places they shouldn't access simply by confidently acting like they belong, nobody bats an eye and they're let in. That concept can be transferred to dealing with women, if you even just slightly act like what you're doing is weird then they'll put their attention on it.

Asking a woman for her contact info shouldn't be different when her friends are around. You had a nice convo, you wouldn't mind continuing it later and for all you know she might want that too. In that context it's not weird in the slightest to ask for her number, if her friends think so then they're the weird ones. Just ask and act like the question belongs, because it does.

If she doesn't want to then don't show any disappointment, just say "ok, bye" in the same casual indifferent manner and walk away (as you were gonna do anyways). What any of them think is irrelevant, they're random women whose opinions have no more bearing on your life than you allow.

 

[Serenity]

When your in this situation regardless whether you open a girl or are asking to see her again you come under judgment of the entire group.

True, it's also the number 1 cause of paralysis leading to nothing happening anyways. Exchanging contact information is no big deal, if he doesn't then he will probably never see any of them again anyways. This shouldn't even require any balls.

Men caring about their image to the point they're paralyzed from taking action is pathetic and I'd even say unmanly.

 

[GeeMale]

True, it's also the number 1 cause of paralysis leading to nothing happening anyways. Exchanging contact information is no big deal, if he doesn't then he will probably never see any of them again anyways. This shouldn't even require any balls.

Men caring about their image to the point they're paralyzed from taking action is pathetic and I'd even say unmanly.

And that's why I posted this , I felt unmanly and anything that does relating to women doesn't sit well with me.

What's a good way to keep up with her in these types of situations (obviously asking her out later)wiithout asking her out first? That's what I usually do so I haven't done the opposite in a long time.

 

[Serenity]

What's a good way to keep up with her in these types of situations (obviously asking her out later)wiithout asking her out first? That's what I usually do so I haven't done the opposite in a long time.

I'm sure you can sense whether an interaction is going well or not. If it goes well then simply say "I gotta go, I enjoyed talking to you, let me have your number", then hand over your phone and text her in a few hours to plan a meetup.

 

[GeeMale]

I'm sure you can sense whether an interaction is going well or not. If it goes well then simply say "I gotta go, I enjoyed talking to you, let me have your number", then hand over your phone and text her in a few hours to plan a meetup.

Few hours,you get better responses from that than couple days? I like how when I txt couple days later, the chick is surprises I even texted her lol

 

[Serenity]

Few hours,you get better responses from that than couple days? I like how when I txt couple days later, the chick is surprises I even texted her lol

She's surprised because she didn't think you'd ever send a text and stopped thinking about you. A few hours is enough, while she might still have your encounter fresh in her memory. If it's late when you get the number then just wait until the middle of the next day. I wouldn't wait more than 24 hours or less than 2.

 

[GeeMale]

She's surprised because she didn't think you'd ever send a text and stopped thinking about you. A few hours is enough, while she might still have your encounter fresh in her memory. If it's late when you get the number then just wait until the middle of the next day. I wouldn't wait more than 24 hours or less than 2.

Hmm interesting. Are you saying after a couple days (2-3) she lost interest as well from forgetting about the guy, thus it'll seem hard from our POV to build it up for first date?

 

[Serenity]

Hmm interesting. Are you saying after a couple days (2-3) she lost interest as well from forgetting about the guy, thus it'll seem hard from our POV to build it up for first date?

Yeah.

Nahh to one sided mind. Being fluid is much better. We are not talking balls here or manly bro. Social savvy is the key here.

I have no idea why you think it's a one sided mind, it's not? I fully agree with everything in this comment though.

 

[GeeMale]

Yeah.


So why the hell does this forum and its people suggest 2 days to 'stand out' from your average Joe?

 

[Serenity]

So why the hell does this forum and its people suggest 2 days to 'stand out' from your average Joe?

Good question, I don't get it either.

 

[GeeMale]

Good question, I don't get it either.

Lol.
Off topic. I noticed women don't care to meet up with someone who is good looking and ambitious with average personality /borderline dull vs someone who is at least average on looks/ambitious but who is ALSO INTERESTING/FUN

 

[Serenity]

Lol.
Off topic. I noticed women don't care to meet up with someone who is good looking and ambitious with average personality /borderline dull vs someone who is at least average on looks/ambitious but who is ALSO INTERESTING/FUN

It's generally men who go for looks, but men use male logic when trying to figure out what women might find attractive. Women would rather have fun than to just have something pretty to look at. A dull guy who looks amazing is of no use, they might as well buy a mannequin if they want eye candy.

Women want fun, everyone wants fun. Most people in general don't give a fvck about other things if they're having fun. What's enjoyable is simply enjoyable and everyone wants more of it.

 

[GeeMale]

It's generally men who go for looks, but men use male logic when trying to figure out what women might find attractive. Women would rather have fun than to just have something pretty to look at. A dull guy who looks amazing is of no use, they might as well buy a mannequin if they want eye candy.

Women want fun, everyone wants fun. Most people in general don't give a fvck about other things if they're having fun. What's enjoyable is simply enjoyable and everyone wants more of it.

I noticed if I'm in a negarive energy for some reason like no sleep, work, etc it's almost pointless to talk to a chick I see , who I could possible be interested in if I was in a positive vibe......because the conversation wont be so great as it would be otherwise

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I swear that girls are SO perceptive, that they can read the environment better than you and understand the impact of what you are doing. What I mean by that is that if you are flirting with a girl, and them ask her out, and there are other girls nearby who are actively or passively paying attention, the girl you are flirting with will see this, and if you ask her out, the boldness and entitlement of this act is magnified by the fact that she knows the other girls are watching and you don't give a fvck. It's not just you who sees this.

You should strive to get to a point where you truly don't care about what others in your vicinity think. The best way to do this is to practice. Ask her for her number, whatever. What happens will probably shock you: instead of judging you or giving you dirty looks or comments, the people around you (men and women) will actually look at you with respect. That's how it has happened for me 100% of the time. I can't tell you how many women of every age (even 50+) have given me eyes after I got done flirting with a girl on the train and number closed her. Part of it is probably the quality of the interaction I have with the girl. It's authentic, real, smooth, playful, teasing, and not supplicating. You do that and everyone around you will look at you with respect because of how rare it is. Never once had anyone look at me like, "what a chump", but it wouldn't matter anyway. Hell, I've approached girls at a train station, gotten blown out before my first two words, and any guy around me gave me a look like, "oh well, at least you tried."

Don't worry what others think, but beyond that, know that most people aren't thinking what you're worried they are thinking. Go for it.

 

[GeeMale]

I swear that girls are SO perceptive, that they can read the environment better than you and understand the impact of what you are doing. What I mean by that is that if you are flirting with a girl, and them ask her out, and there are other girls nearby who are actively or passively paying attention, the girl you are flirting with will see this, and if you ask her out, the boldness and entitlement of this act is magnified by the fact that she knows the other girls are watching and you don't give a fvck. It's not just you who sees this.

You should strive to get to a point where you truly don't care about what others in your vicinity think. The best way to do this is to practice. Ask her for her number, whatever. What happens will probably shock you: instead of judging you or giving you dirty looks or comments, the people around you (men and women) will actually look at you with respect. That's how it has happened for me 100% of the time. I can't tell you how many women of every age (even 50+) have given me eyes after I got done flirting with a girl on the train and number closed her. Part of it is probably the quality of the interaction I have with the girl. It's authentic, real, smooth, playful, teasing, and not supplicating. You do that and everyone around you will look at you with respect because of how rare it is. Never once had anyone look at me like, "what a chump", but it wouldn't matter anyway. Hell, I've approached girls at a train station, gotten blown out before my first two words, and any guy around me gave me a look like, "oh well, at least you tried."

Don't worry what others think, but beyond that, know that most people aren't thinking what you're worried they are thinking. Go for it.

I get what you're saying and practice is what I'm good at since I started coming here...but damn you really made me regret it now more than before but now I'm motivated with reason to ask next time situation occurs.

 

[GeeMale]

I get what you're saying and practice is what I'm good at since I started coming here...but damn you really made me regret it now more than before but now I'm motivated with reason to ask next time situation occurs.

It's generally men who go for looks, but men use male logic when trying to figure out what women might find attractive. Women would rather have fun than to just have something pretty to look at. A dull guy who looks amazing is of no use, they might as well buy a mannequin if they want eye candy.

Women want fun, everyone wants fun. Most people in general don't give a fvck about other things if they're having fun. What's enjoyable is simply enjoyable and everyone wants more of it.

There was a chick who didn't text back today after I asked for her number before she left(vs asking her out and getting her number if she says sure) yesterday. 2 texts than I deleted her number. From now on I'm always going to ask them out to a place/day at initial conversation so I know shes attracted to me and not wasting each other's time...like I usually do.
By the way whats a sure fire 'sign' from your experience during an initial conversation that you noticed consistently with every chick who you actually went out with? I know real men shouldn't be looking for signs, but sometimes it would be cool to know so were not wasting out time...women are great saying whatever they want to a guy whether she really is into him or not so when you say if the interaction is going well, they can put on their nice facade and do that touching their hair showing fake flirty signs.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There was a chick who didn't text back today after I asked for her number before she left(vs asking her out and getting her number if she says sure) yesterday. 2 texts than I deleted her number. From now on I'm always going to ask them out to a place/day at initial conversation so I know shes attracted to me and not wasting each other's time...like I usually do.
By the way whats a sure fire 'sign' from your experience during an initial conversation that you noticed consistently with every chick who you actually went out with? I know real men shouldn't be looking for signs, but sometimes it would be cool to know so were not wasting out time...women are great saying whatever they want to a guy whether she really is into him or not so when you say if the interaction is going well, they can put on their nice facade and do that touching their hair showing fake flirty signs.

You develop a sense over time. It can't really be quantified in my opinion. You can quantify interest, but women often fake interest to be nice and avoid a confrontation, and the bigger issue is that just because she is actually interested doesn't mean she will go on a date with you. She may have a boyfriend, may not be in the right head-space, may want to date but deliberately denies herself due to job or school or god only knows what, or she may be crazy. Bottom line, you can't tell.

It sounds like you're trying to avoid rejection. Get over that. You say you don't want to waste time but how much time are you wasting sending her that initial text? I know it's disappointing to not get a response back, but you have to get over that. It happens to the best of us. Frequently. And besides, it's not just the first text girls flake on. They will flake on you after your first date. Second date. Second month. Etc. You just have to keep on keeping on.

Also don't ever send a girl two texts with no response from her. Don't delete her number either. Send your text and forget about her unless you hear back. Go in with low expectations. Get more numbers - that way you won't be hit so hard by the flakes.

 

[GeeMale]

You're right I get offended in my head cause i've had better looking /high quality chicks /eff buddies than some chicks I get rejected by. I'm 100% sure it's about not having a rotation cause when I did in past this never happened but I don't do the numbers game anymore after reading book of Pook(sadly very late) and opening up my eyes on perception of it. However having a rotation is I'm sure ok as long as it's not obsesive and I'm happy with them being high quality and such.....when I don't , I get offended and my ego kicks in...it has nothing to do with focusing on purpose, work, hobbies, etc cause I keep myself productive in my life goals right now I'm just asking out at least 1 chick per week so when it doesn't work I start emotionally wondering wtf in my mind even tho rationally I know it's retarted.