"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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asked to "wait" until calling her.

Riegs

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
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This one kind of threw me off, as this girl's been totally AFC for me since day one. I realized with her that the more interest I show, the less interested she is. When I act indifferent, she gets insanely crazy about me and even acts a little insecure and possessive.

I'm trying to find a balance where I keep the power all the time. What's strange is that to do that, I have to show her little emotion or feeling, then she tells me I'm being distant.

We planned on me calling her tonight at 12. She, like usual asked if I'd text her first, so I did. Apparently she gets really anxious and worked up when the phone rings or something. She had no plans tonight, she was just supposed to be watching tv.

text:

Me: Hey, ready?

Her: Call me in half an hour. is that ok?;-)

Me: We can talk another night I guess, I'm pretty tired.

Her: Ok. call now matty

Me: No it's okay. Do what you have to do.. I'll talk to you soon enough

Her: No matt. i really want to.

Situation - this girl really has no social life because she has social anxiety disorder and in the past has always acted super excited any time I talked to her. Only lately she's been like this for no real reason. She works every day and lives with her mom, and doesn't go out hardly ever.

I really doubt she was busy at all, but for some reason was more interested in watching tv or something than talking to me. Only when she realized I wasn't going to call, does she tell me she really wants to... which if it was the case, she just would've told me ok from the very beginning.

I don't have any plans to call her tonight after being put on hold, and I am going to bed. Did I play it right?

I'm a former AFC who's wised up after my last disaster of a relationship, but I can't help but be analyzing every situation now, it drives me nuts...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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