asked her out and...what?

[glass half full]

Okay, so I've been going to this meeting a few of us have, its a small town and the couple who have the meeting go to my church, but there are some local folks who go to other churches there too, maybe 15 on any given night, tops. I haven't intended to date anyone this soon...but there's a gal there who really rocks my boat, so to speak. She's six years older than me, has grown sons she has issues with, and is single. So I decided on the way home last night to call her and ask her out...

So I call, she's already in bed (oops!), she just lives two houses down from the meeting and I'm 25 min. away. So I made some comments on our meeting that night, told her I found her to be a very nice lady and quite attractive (got two very enthusiastic sounding "thank you!" out of that!). Then I told her I'd like to go out with her sometime. And I get a totally unexpected answer (this always happens to me, I've heard them all), she says "how about we wait till the first of the year?"

So yeah I'm thinking "what?"...I very politely told her "sure that's fine, no hurry...

Any ideas? guys, help me out here...I haven't dated for 20 years. But the dating game never fails to throw me a curve ball lmao!!!!

 

[The411]

Never call or bring it up again. Treat her the same as you always have.

Who knows why she said it? Kid problems, etc. It doesn't matter. You made the offer, now retain your value and dignity by NEVER pursuing it again. If she is interested, she will bring it up.

Yep. Sometimes the answers might not be what we'd like to hear seeing as this is partially a site based on getting/ dealing with chicks and we're looking for a "positive" answer for a specific outcome.

O.P asked. She put it off for whatever reason. No need to ask again. The ball is in her court. I'd move on. If she asks about going out in the future, then you cross that bridge at the time.

 

[bmp2cpm]

I think she's viewing you as kind of a friend. Interest level doesn't seem to be there.

Honestly, at 50 you should be able to date women at least in the 45 to 49 age range. You should not be pursuing 56-year-old women. Maybe even this women knows that. At 50 you're still in your prime to obtain resources, which is pretty much all women care about. They give sex, you give some resources. If the sex-to-resources ratio gets out of balance, leave.

This 56-year-old woman hit menopause a long time ago, zero sex drive. At 50, getting a woman younger than you could mean 5 to 10 years of good sex, before menopause totally sets in. Don't set your sights too low.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Glass half full,
Well that's new on me too...generally I have found Religion goes hand in hand with Prurient behaviour...Must say I can't find much in the Bible to support that view point but that's how they feel...It's all about feeling great about yourself by denying your instinctive needs...give her a miss mate!

 

[The Duke]

Maybe she wants to spend the holidays with her ex? lol Either way its an indication of low interest. Women are emotional creatures... if she thought you were all that she wouldn't have been able to resist. I wouldn't ask again.

 

[Vulpine]

There's no way we can pinpoint exactly which or what obligation(s) she has. There may be financial obligations, law obligations, or even personal obligations like a healing hysterectomy; all of which are likely to contribute to her already elevated holiday stress level or put up "tricky" obstacles.

With all the shopping and chasing around traveling and visiting with family and friends (and kids), I would be reluctant to take on anymore tasks myself. And, if I was too preoccupied with my life for dating, then I wouldn't put myself out there in a frazzled state: it wouldn't go well.

Of course, I'm trying to put myself in her shoes as a person. If your approach was unexpected, maybe she wants to hit the gym and lose some lard so she's up to a 6 from a 5 (or whatever, you get my drift). Maybe she was so busy with her life and situation (personal depressions/LSE) that she hadn't considered someone might actually be interested in banging her... her hamster is working on it, whichever the case.

Meanwhile, like others suggested, ƒorget about her until she calls and is ready to get laid. Un-dateable, next. No contact, short of face-to-face meetings, unless she initiates.

Good on you for busting a move though, man. Do it some more!

 

[sodbuster]

Yeah, IF the answer isn't a yes, it's a NO.... she should have jumped at the chance to date if she was interested..... Don't spend a bunch of time on this one. MAYBE ask her out after the first of the year, but KEEP LOOKING. I'll bet you can find a better one.......

I've had 40-50 year olds who would be a pity f@ck on my part THINK they could do better and I needed to WORK at dating them. THEN I have 20 somethings thinking I would be a good guy to date.....

 

[nismo-4]

You can do better. She just wants you as a beta orbiter.

She wouldn't wait till the first of the year if Brad Pitt asked her out. And would you wait till the first of the year if Katy Perry asked you out on a date? Hell no.

Anything other than a yes with actions backing it up is a no.

Sorry. Delete this girl and move on. Judge nismo's orders.

Case closed.

 

[VladPatton]

Should of told her you were hoping to give her a Yule log for Xmas! Leave it alone and don't bring it up at the next meeting, she knows the deal.

 

[glass half full]

yeah I saw her on FB tonight and gave her a message, a simple "Hey how was your weekend?". She was on FB for maybe five afterwards, no reply and then gone. FFF her!

 

[Alvafe]

too much enregy spend for someone who should not even know what is sex anymore or wish to have it again, dude you are a guy you can go younger, I don't see a reason not to