Asked a girl out, she says "let's confirm.."

[Trump]

However, in reference to her response to you... this is one of the few times where the response of "Let's confirm next week" may be due to simply not knowing what time the movie starts. The movie doesn't start until next week, and depending on the theater the show times may not be listed yet.

Granted, it still would have been nice to pin down an estimated time of when this date may occur... but it's YOUR job to propose all the details of said date when presenting it. You said "let's go see a movie" but you didn't tell her what time of day you'd like to see it, where you'd like to go, if there are going to be any activities before or after... in short, your proposal was WEAK and short on details.

Bro that's really devils advocate. If she wanted to see him and details she would have said "Sounds good...what day/time were you thinking?"

"Lets confirm next week" is too ambiguous. If he doesn't get back to her she could say "I told you to confirm with me, you weren't interested." If she doesn't get back to him she could say "Something came up, you can't hold it against me because I said I would confirm."

She took the pressure completely off herself with one line.

 

[bigbird090]

**Update**

The girl gchatted me and asked me if we were still going to hang out -apparently she said she was confused and thought I was going to confirm it with her. She gave me her number and we went out on Sunday night. Did dinner/drinks at a bar, then a movie.

She said she almost flaked because she didn't really know me and was nervous of awkardness, however she said she had a great time and we clicked. She wants to go out again and I even told her that "next time I would make a move" -I know that's probably a stupid thing to do, but she said "Lol thanks for the heads up "

I texted her last night around 11pm since she once again gchatted me early Monday morning for a quick second. I didn't get a response and hopefully I'll get some sort of communication from her today.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Good luck, OP. But seriously, telling her you'll make a move next time is just plain awful. Sorry man.
But you have to be mysterious. Don't speak, act. Don't think, do!
Good luck, I hope she gets back to you.
For the record, I'd advise against texting her again until you hear back from her.

 

[bigbird090]

Thanks man.

Yeah, dumb move about telling her I was gonna make a move, thought it would be flirty, but came out dumb.

Yeah, last night's text is probably the last one I send unless she responds. She said she definitely wanted to go out again and called our outing a "date".

 

[Plutoman]

**Update**
She wants to go out again and I even told her that "next time I would make a move" -I know that's probably a stupid thing to do, but she said "Lol thanks for the heads up "

Making my eye twitch here..

Really, man, timid to the max. You should have made a move and closed with a kiss already - for a movie after drinks, especially.

Think about how you are approaching all of this. Lead! Don't be afraid of rejection. By being timid, you are telling her that she's way better than you - you are putting her above you. You want her to make a move, and you know, she's not going to unless she's really into you, and she's not going to be really into you unless you show some confidence.

I'm no expert - so get a second opinion - but what I would suggest is keeping a low-contact setting for a short period of time. Wait for her to contact you, keep a short conversation (yes, short!), tell her you'll text her later, and then not. Contact her the next day, keep any texting light/flirty/fun, if she asks why you never texted just say you got busy. The reasoning - it shows you are not desperate for her attention. You do not want to be desperate for her attention. You do not want to be needy. She'll wonder why you aren't trying to talk more, she'll wonder if she did something wrong, in other words, she'll be thinking of you and thinking on what she can do to grab your attention (presuming the attraction is not already lost - from the last post, you might be okay on that).

 

[bigbird090]

Well, she just texted me back. I guess she was asleep by 11pm. In my original text, I said hi and asked her out she was in spanish because we're both fluent (lame, I know)

She responded with a "Hola (Name)!" just now.

Guess I won't respond to that...

 

[Plutoman]

Responding's fine - you don't want to be rude, and you don't want her to think you are mad at her (you would want the indifferent look). Just don't drag out a conversation - be the first to end it. Don't invest more than her into a conversation.

Be the one leading the interaction, not following.

Language play isn't lame - it forms rapport in the common ground. Don't over-think everything you do or say, or think it's all bad - just take the lead.

 

[bigbird090]

Again, many thanks for the advice.

So as I stated before, she told me she would be down for another date and even during the date, there were mentions of "we should do X, Y, Z sometime"

Anyways, I want to ask her out for this weekend again and take her to a club/lounge. When should I do it? Also, via text/phone? Thanks.

 

[Plutoman]

I'm a fan of texting. Phone's seem outdated to me. Some girls like it, others won't. If she likes you, she won't mind a call, though it may surprise her. That's all depending on the situation. Honestly what's more important is that you do what's natural to you - you want to be natural about it.

I'd just be clear about it. Be like, hey, I've got some free time this saturday (or other day) evening, let's go hit this place up. Do it whenever it feels like a good time to ask. Tomorrow, day after, spontaneously on friday/saturday. Whatever works. Doesn't need to be structured. She'll either say yes, no and try to reschedule, or no and not reschedule. Last is the only bad option.

Just think about this before you interact, make decisions, going out with her - are you leading the interaction? Are you taking the initiative?

Quick example; if she asks, what do you want to do? Don't return the question and ask her what she would want to do - take the initiative, make a decision - she's asking for a reason. If it's not something she likes or wants, she'll express that. If she likes you, it won't happen - being around you would be the important part. Risking the rejection is the way to make progress. Doesn't matter if it takes you a short bit to think and make the decision, just do it anyways. She's communicated ideas; she'll be subtle about what she likes and enjoys (and sometimes not-so-subtle!). So you can take those hints yourself. Giving her a change of pace and surprising her's never bad, either.

Girls will communicate when they want to make a decision - if they aren't, they want you to make it (assuming they're attracted to you, at least).

Also, I'm not an expert. I've done my reading, but don't take my opinions as the bible. I've been out of a relationship for all of 2 months now (a 2.5 year relationship). But hey, this is my honest opinion. I don't think I'm wrong, but I'm gonna make sure to qualify my level of expertise here.

 

[Jitterbug]

"Sounds good, let's confirm next week"

translation:

"Your offer is not too terrible. I'll see how I feel next week about seeing you again or anything better comes up".

Luke warm IL, but not horrible.

 

[omega05]

"Sounds good, let's confirm next week"

translation:

"Your offer is not too terrible. I'll see how I feel next week about seeing you again or anything better comes up".

Luke warm IL, but not horrible.

did you even read the update?

 

[Jitterbug]

I just read them now. Exactly as I put it: lukewarm IL.

You haven't experienced high IL, have you?

 

[EastWind]

I just read them now. Exactly as I put it: lukewarm IL.

You haven't experienced high IL, have you?

This.

This girl is mildly interested at best and will blow him off as soon as she meets a "better deal". There's a possible return on investment here, but it's not going to be big, or easy, or really nice.

High IL is like a force of nature. It's to lukewarm IL what Sandy was to a summer breeze.

 

[bigbird090]

Yeah, I think it's leaning to mild interest or even less. I gchatted her earlier today saying "it was too early for her to be awake". She responded with "lol I've got a call. TTYL !"

My next steps are: Do nothing.

 

[EastWind]

Yeah, I think it's leaning to mild interest or even less. I gchatted her earlier today saying "it was too early for her to be awake". She responded with "lol I've got a call. TTYL !"

My next steps are: Do nothing.

You're way past "next steps". Except if after "do nothing" you've got "more nothing" and then "still more nothing". You're done with her, I hope you realize that?

Just delete her from everything and move on.