asked a girl out. she said yes with enthusiasm. now delaying.

[artstar]

so i asked this girl out to meet for coffee. she said yes and seemed like she really wanted to go. i said i would let her know when i had time. so when i found time i set up a date. forgot it was father's day that day so she postponed to a non specific date. i messaged her again and she basically said she'd be busy for the week so i said okay, just let me know when you've got time. since then, no replies. i'm just thinking of whether i should just forget it or ask one more time? i definitely don't want to give her power by me seeming a bit desperate if i initiated contact again and if she really was interested, she would contact me again without having me chase her. what do you think?

 

[jophil28]

so when i found time i set up a date. forgot it was father's day that day so she postponed to a non specific date.

"She postponed to a non-specific date" - wrong ! THis is where it spiralled down and eventually sunk.
NEVER leave a woman in this position of contacting you UNLESS you are dating her frequently. You always should contact her and LEAD.

A new woman will rarely call a new guy after a first date cancelation . It is against a woman's nature, she feels as if she is chasing you .

 

[boomerick]

"Let me know when you've got time"

When you say "Let me know when you've got time" you are thinking that it's the easiest way to solve a scheduling problem between two people who are having difficulty getting together (male thinking - logical problem solving = smart - applied to women=wrong!)

When you say "Let me know when you've got time" this is what she hears in the chick brain ---"I am a wussy chump who has nothing else going on in my life and I will be desperately happy to jump through any hoop at any chance to be with you because no other chick will have me" - (female thinking - always annilizing your actions to see if you measure up)

OOPS.....you didn't mean to but you just communicated to her that you are a doormat.....(you probably aren't but that's what she heard)...

Jophil is right....ALWAYS LEAD.....you two are not equals ....you have to be a man...you have to be in charge...she wants this ...its nature.....de-program all that fairness equall partners sharing nice guy feminist think garbage out of your head...


Always set the date and time, don't leave it open, or worse yet, up to her to decide and call you about....

You lead....you be a MAN....she wants you to be John Wayne....she wants you to be Dirty Harry Callahan....she does NOT want Sigfried and Roy.....

Over and Out.

 

[boomerick]

edit

 

[spinaroonie]

Here’s a good rule of thumb: Whenever a woman cancels a date and doesn’t offer an alternative time, she is rejecting you.

It doesn’t matter if the excuse she gives sounds plausible, or you have proof that she really can’t make the date due to other obligations. If she doesn’t offer a make-up date, she’s not interested enough to see you again. You *could* press the matter, but you’d be better off forgetting her and sticking with girls who demonstrate more enthusiasm to spend time with you.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/07/02/canceling-dates/

 

[artstar]

yeah i get that. but her not responding means i have to look desperate. i'll be basically saying "what about now? now? how about now? now??" i just don't want to be the annoying guy. i figured i've asked her enough times and hasn't complied so i'm gonna quit wasting my time.

it's like yeah, you gotta be a man and make decisions but you gotta find a balance between being decisive and knowing when to stop chasing otherwise you look like a desperate guy which women hate, right?

but according to you guys, i guess i should give it one more shot or what?

 

[f283000]

great advice boomerick!

artstar, read the 2 strikes rule.

 

[boomerick]

The "non counter offer counter offer" then the "call me when you have time"......

No interest level showing on her part...


"Pitt-Clooney Test" - How long would she wait to counter offer or call either of these guys????

If she ever does call you back it'll be to get a free dinner or movie and then to assign you to the LJBF orbiter bullpen...

I hope it doesn't work this way for you but I would bank on it at this point....

While you're waiting go find other interested chicks to spend time on...

Over and Out.

 

[Megaman XIV]

IOI's don't mean a goddamn thing unless there's a follow up. Actions speak much louder than words.

Listen to Lieutenant Boomerick, soldier!

 

[jophil28]

It is YOUR responsibility to set up the meets, organize date, set up times and take care of the fine details. IT is YOUR job to LEAD a new woman into a place of entrancement with you. It is your job to push down on the gas pedal -it is her job to hit the brakes if you are going too fast.

You will never do that by believing in some of the limp d1ck ideas promoted on this forum by rookies who have no experience to quote from.
Firstly, a lot of women (especially the high value ones) expect men to "do the work" in the initial stages . I know that a lot of you believe that if she is "interested " she will make a counter offer after a cancellation - this is not necessarily true down here on planet Earth.. Many women are conditioned NOT to suggest dating ideas to new men. Their reluctance to suggest "another time -another place" is not always a reliable measure of their IL.
The way to reliably assess a woman's IL in you is to carefully watch, listen and take notes about how she responds to YOUR offers to spend time together.
IF she accepts, without hemming and hawwing, she is interested. IF she shows up on time, she is interested. If she initiates kino,she is very interested... and so on.

And you will never have her under your spell by waiting around until she "..has a clear schedule..." or being passive and waiting for her make a counter offer.

Make her say YES, or make her say NO by what you do, and by taking charge. Act - and be willing to lose her number if she does not show the unmistakeable signs of high interest.

 

[artstar]

It is YOUR responsibility to set up the meets, organize date, set up times and take care of the fine details. IT is YOUR job to LEAD a new woman into a place of entrancement with you. It is your job to push down on the gas pedal -it is her job to hit the brakes if you are going too fast.

You will never do that by believing in some of the limp d1ck ideas promoted on this forum by rookies who have no experience to quote from.
Firstly, a lot of women (especially the high value ones) expect men to "do the work" in the initial stages . I know that a lot of you believe that if she is "interested " she will make a counter offer after a cancellation - this is not necessarily true down here on planet Earth.. Many women are conditioned NOT to suggest dating ideas to new men. Their reluctance to suggest "another time -another place" is not always a reliable measure of their IL.
The way to reliably assess a woman's IL in you is to carefully watch, listen and take notes about how she responds to YOUR offers to spend time together.
IF she accepts, without hemming and hawwing, she is interested. IF she shows up on time, she is interested. If she initiates kino,she is very interested... and so on.

And you will never have her under your spell by waiting around until she "..has a clear schedule..." or being passive and waiting for her make a counter offer.

Make her say YES, or make her say NO by what you do, and by taking charge. Act - and be willing to lose her number if she does not show the unmistakeable signs of high interest.

man.

that just shot a huge dose of testosterone through my veins.

thank you for that.

 

[FastMen]

so i asked this girl out to meet for coffee. she said yes and seemed like she really wanted to go. i said i would let her know when i had time. so when i found time i set up a date. forgot it was father's day that day so she postponed to a non specific date. i messaged her again and she basically said she'd be busy for the week so i said okay, just let me know when you've got time. since then, no replies. i'm just thinking of whether i should just forget it or ask one more time? i definitely don't want to give her power by me seeming a bit desperate if i initiated contact again and if she really was interested, she would contact me again without having me chase her. what do you think?

if its the first time goin out, keep on tryin
but if is the third or more....leave her alone....

 

[artstar]

so she keeps dragging this along. i basically said tell me straight up yes or no. stop making excuses. i can handle a "no" just fine. but she won't give me a straight answer. i came to the conclusion that she likes playing the game. so i said **** it. stop wasting my time. i'm done trying. moving on.

 

[jophil28]

so she keeps dragging this along. i basically said tell me straight up yes or no. stop making excuses. i can handle a "no" just fine. but she won't give me a straight answer. i came to the conclusion that she likes playing the game. so i said **** it. stop wasting my time. i'm done trying. moving on.

Good job.

You finally realized that you cannot go out with a woman who is avoiding going out with you.