Article: Woman uses man to advance career; it backfires

[WestCoaster]

This is classic, glad the columnist gave her the business, which she often does -- surprisingly for a woman.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/hax/335098_hax12.html

One of the best pieces of advice I've taken from this site is look at women's actions, not their words. Listen to this woman's words, but follow her actions.

When it backfires on her, she can't believe it. She used a widower to advance her career and then couldn't believe he later on wouldn't give her a recommendation.

Another piece of advice learned: Women do what they're going to do and excuse it later. I find many people -- men and especially women today -- lacking a conscience.

 

[joekerr31]

good read west.

and yes, i agree with your statements.

i'd also add NEVER underestimate a woman's ability to see herself as the victim.

while she clearly used this guy in every respect, that fact completely goes over her head. all she can focus on is how she's screwed, and how can she fix things with this guy so that she isn't screwed for jobs in the future.

you know, a lot of unfortunate stuff happens to people in life, stuff that isn't there fault - and i've got a lot of empathy for those folks.

but people who create their own messes and then expect others to pity them or help them out - i say if you're going to sh*t in your own bed, then you can sleep in it and don't ask me to do the wash.

 

[WaterTiger]

What a vicious little cvnt! I hope her next job includes her having to ask :"You want fries with that?"

Women like this need to be taken out and shot.

 

[joekerr31]

What a vicious little cvnt! I hope her next job includes her having to ask :"You want fries with that?"

Women like this need to be taken out and shot.

great point WT.

a lot of guys think all women, deep down, are really just like this woman.

but the truth is that most women aren't. and there are a lot of women who are MORE upset by these kinds of women than men are. because its women like this, the corporate wh*res, who keep good women down in the workplace and society.

 

[Colossus]

Another piece of advice learned: Women do what they're going to do and excuse it later. I find many people -- men and especially women today -- lacking a conscience.

So true. All you have to do is observe behavior. Especially the younger generations (18-24ish). The 'entitlement' attitude.

 

[DJDamage]

This woman did nothing wrong, she was just being a woman.

A woman will take advantage of a situation if you let her. A woman will treat you like crap if you let her. The man she was seeing was so pussified that as soon as he "let her" get away with small sh1t like all exclusive payed vacation, it just kept the ball rolling. The more he gave her the more she took and if her man didn't have a problem with it then how could she see it as being wrong? I am sure that she knew she was being a little manipulative but its only those men who don't have the forsight to understand this get manipulated.

As a Man you need to put your foot down or else your woman will just say thank you and walk all over you, until she finds another man who won't put up with her crap.

 

[STR8UP]

I'm with Damage.

This woman likely had no malicious intent.

I think she exploited an opportunity, something which most people in general will do, and women specifically when it comes to this type of thing.

A guy that didn't see that coming a mile away is an AFC. He catered to her like an AFC. And when the relationship ended, he handled it like a vindictive AFC would.

That said, what she did was completely wrong and she got what she deserved.

I've been trying to say this for a long time now.......THIS IS HOW THE WORLD WORKS. You can complain about it all you like (I do myself sometimes) but what it comes down to is that you must live with it, and you must learn to use it to your advantage.

This guy should have fukked her and chucked her. Well, he shouldn't have fukked her at all, but he had it coming if he couldn't foresee a less than perfect outcome.

 

[Fred Da Head]

How about, "I made a huge mistake, I dumped you before my career was secure, and now I need to remedy that by reeling you back in just long enough for you to get me another job"?

Priceless.

 

[joekerr31]

no question the guy messed up. and who knows, maybe he deserved what he got. if only out of AFC niavity.

and actually, rewarding women like this the way he did, only encourages women to keep behaving this way.

ive worked in the corporate world, and one of the things that p*sses me off the most is how these 50'ish executives focus on women. for low impact positions like assistants i've had these guys straight out tell me they could care less if the woman can do the job, they just want a pair of nice t*ts to look at daily.

p*sses me right off. we're not here to so you can fantasize about your assistant's t*ts - we're here to make some f*cking money. and if you aren't focused on that, then your *ss should be fired. hire someone who is competent for f*ck sake.

EVERYTHING that women get away with only happens because there is some sucker letting her get away with it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...As a Man you need to put your foot down or else your woman will just say thank you and walk all over you, until she finds another man who won't put up with her crap.

:yes: Don't be a slave to the poon! :rockon:

 

[DJDamage]

That said, what she did was completely wrong and she got what she deserved.

Yep she got what she deserved all right. But yet again she is clueless as to why this injustice is happening to her.

I decided it was time for me to move on and begin my life over with people my own age. He completely broke down on me, something I did not expect, but I stuck by my decision.

This is why men sometimes refer to women as being a shrews. The reason she did not expect him breaking down because she didn't care anymore about him or anything pertaining to him, its all about her new life now. Once a woman has lost interest then you can forget about her virtue of being soft, understanding and caring. Its this kind of 180 degrees change of behaviour that catch most men off guard and by surprise. They did not look at their women's interest levels/her actions over the course of time and just assumed that bad behaviour on her part comes with the territory.

one interviewer noticed the small company where my old friend and I worked, and asked if it was it OK to call him for a reference. The next day I got a call telling me there was no further interest in me as a candidate. I called my old friend to ask what he had said, and he acted as if he did not know me and cut the conversation short. I need him on my side for this job search. How do I get that after I dumped him so badly, and how do I apologize for this?

Notice how she refers to him as "old friend"?! my gut feelings tells me that she gave him the "LJBF" speech and he at first he agreed to it (at which point she is feeling guilt free and therefore her logic tells her that since they are "friends now" she is allowed to use him for her purpose to farther her career because that is what "friends" do, they help each other out).

So when the interview calls this guy for a reference, it finally dawned at him that he is being used up as her tool and completley loses it and tells the interviewer she sucked balls (he wasn't complelty off base here ). Now temporarly he acts like a jerk to her because he feels that anger and attitude of not giving a fvck is the best feeling in the world.

Now all of the sudden she wants to appologise to him?? why?? because her new life depends on him to get her a new job and as "platonic friends" he is obligated to help her. If he does end up helping her, it will probably be the last contact he has with her anyway. Her new life with a new man would not blossom successfuly if she has an old flame with oneitis hanging around that wants her back and won't react very well to the news she moved on with another man.

 

[STR8UP]

ive worked in the corporate world, and one of the things that p*sses me off the most is how these 50'ish executives focus on women. for low impact positions like assistants i've had these guys straight out tell me they could care less if the woman can do the job, they just want a pair of nice t*ts to look at daily.

From a business perspective I would probably hire a less attractive woman as an assistant given identical qualifications, just so I wouldn't be tempted to cross that line.

I know a guy in his late 40's, pretty much a sleazeball, who hires these 19 yr old Russian chicks to be his "assistants".

I can see him now, drooling over them trying to put on the moves. What sad is that he probably does fukk them.

Oh well.....I'm not against prostitution, so what's wrong with what he does? It's just a glorified version.

 

[STR8UP]

Once a woman has lost interest then you can forget about her virtue of being soft, understanding and caring..

Great quote! It literally took me 95% of my life to understand this dynamic.

I would always be left holding the bag, wondering how a woman I spent so many good times with could go from an angel to a devil in about one day.

Now I know how it all works.

Women don't love YOU, they love what you do TO them and what you do FOR them.

In the case of the woman that is the subject of this post, she was "in love" with what the guy was doing FOR her.

In most cases, as in a serious relationship, it's what you do TO them. In other words, she will "love" you so long as you can keep her on that emotional high.

As soon as your value is spent with any given woman, whether it be that you can't make her feel a rush, you can't provide for her (as in this case), or even if you stop feeding an AW with attention, she will throw you in the trash chute like two week old moldy pizza.

Lovely world we live in, huh?

 

[DJDamage]

From a business perspective I would probably hire a less attractive woman as an assistant given identical qualifications, just so I wouldn't be tempted to cross that line.

That is no difference then hiring an attractive woman with less qualification. As a man you should be able to control your impulses and act professionally in the office towards a woman no matter how good she looks. If its the right person for the job then they should get that job (although looks will get you places).

This sort of remined of the episode of Seinfeld where George passes over hiring an attractive personal secretary for a plain looking one because he fears he would sleep with her. But since he was an AFC and he got along great with her, he ends up sleeping with her anyway. While having sex he promised her a raise and upon recieveing this raise he found out she makes more money then he does.

 

[STR8UP]

That is no difference then hiring an attractive woman with less qualification. As a man you should be able to control your impulses and act professionally in the office towards a woman no matter how good she looks. If its the right person for the job then they should get that job (although looks will get you places).

Notice how I said "given identical qualifications"?

Best candidate gets the job......I've had enough bad employees to last a lifetime.

 

[WestCoaster]

I usually don't defend AFC's, but this guy was a widower, so he probably was hurting a bit and on the rebound. Two, growing up in America, he was probably sucked into the matrix and had zero DJ skills. Yes, that's much his fault, but still ...

This beyotch zeroed in on a damaged guy and took advantage of it. Because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean it's right. It still means she's a b-tch, a user, an abuser, and should be sent off to Siberia for the rest of her life to do hard labor. She is the scum of the earth.

What I'm sure she left out in the letter to the columnist was just how she plotted to get the guy in his time of need, just after his wife's death. You absolutely know this is how it went down: she planned, plotted, and took advantage of a grieving person, a guy in his most vulernable time. Disagree with Str8 -- though I like your posts -- she definitely had malicious intent. It was plotted, planned, and schemed.

She's pure evil.

 

[DJDamage]

she planned, plotted, and took advantage of a grieving person, a guy in his most vulernable time.

How do you know he wasn't working her too? If the guy was AFC then he would be hiding his intentions until the right moment. Maybe he used his wife death as excuse to make her feel sorry for him and thus he could get closer to her and able to fvck her. The fact that he used expensive vacations and helped her "financially and professionally" beyond what is expected tells me he did it so she won't leave him. In his mind he was Captain save a ho rescuing Cinderalla (poor girl is rescued from her miserable life by prince charming who is able to rescue her, elevate her to his status, marry her and thus be the envy of everyone.... excuse me I just throw up a little in my mouth)

Men and Women are both oppertuinistic creatures and can or will exploit one another given the right circumstances, but women tend to be better at it when it comes to sex and for long term gains. Biologically we are programmed to lure the other gender to enchance our life and form almost a symbiotic relationship (A female will use sex to keep a male around for his resources and security, and male will use his resources and security to keep a female around for sex.)

 

[Metro3pilot]

Wow, Karma really is a ***** ! !

I guess this post just goes to show you ...getting mad at someone and plotting revenge is really just a waste of time and energy.... this guy was probably pissed for a long time and all he had to do was bide his time ....

The universe usually has a way to even things out ....

:trouble:

 

[STR8UP]

Disagree with Str8 -- though I like your posts -- she definitely had malicious intent. It was plotted, planned, and schemed.

She's pure evil.

She is pure woman.

I seriously doubt she did this initially on a conscious level. Maybe she did, who knows.

Any woman might be more inclined to stay with a man who can do something for her.

She deserved what she got, but most women operate in this way.

ALL women are influenced by what a man can DO for them. Is it coincidence that affluent men have more opportunities with women? Where do you draw the line between "gold digger" and a woman who is simply looking out for her own welfare?

 

[Aenigma]

Thoughts:

1. Women are INSANELY good at painting themselves as the victim, and if you listen to them with your critical thinking skill turned off, you'll always take their side due to the symphatic emotional reaction that they will try to elicit from you. Like I said in an earlier thread: Emotions are the mechanism by which women elicit or modify the behaviors of males they wish to control.

2. It recently occured to me that women EXPECT their male friends to serve them, err I mean "help them"- it's a frame that all of them seem to consistently maintain; if you refuse, or expect the same from them, they'll paint YOU as the bad person, even though they've done nothing to reciprocate or deserve it. It's another of their manipulation techniques- when you refuse, or throw their bad behavior back in their face- they'll act indignant and try to shame you into doing their bidding.

3. The phrase "He catered to her like an AFC." is certainly an interesting one , one that rasies several questions. What is the proper model of male-female relationship? What constitutes "helping someone " and what consitutes "using someone"?

At its base, I think that healthy relationships, whether sexual or otherwise, are based simply on enjoying the time you spend with the other person; however, at one point its almost inevitable that one party is going to ask for a favor/s from the other- what criteria do you use to decide that its a resonable request for a man to help with vs a **** test that she's using to see how much of a man you are vs her using you as a beast of burden?