The answer is found in the Eligible Bachelor Paradox
medium.com
On our third date, he told me he had sex with hundreds of prostitutes…while he was married.
I immediately wondered the obvious — why would you admit that to someone you are dating unless you were in self-sabotage mode?
I asked a few friends. One friend's reply was enlightening.
“He confessed to having sex with prostitutes because he wanted to see if he could get away with it in the future. His wife clearly allowed it, so he wanted to see if you would. He told you who he was— a disloyal man when his sexual needs are not being met. And you know who you are. Are you a woman who is cool with her boyfriend having sex with prostitutes?”
my opinion: If my wife can't do her wifely duty (in some way - her doing a hand job is good enough
), I'm getting someone to do her job - and if she has a problem with that, it's time to divorce.
I am not alone. It’s a question that many women over thirty-five keep asking — where have all the good men gone?
my opinion:
Fortunately, economics and game theory have an answer — The Eligible Bachelor Paradox.
... nubile women fall on a spectrum of either “high or low quality.” High-quality women possess attractiveness and social adeptness, while low-quality women have less of these traits. But high-quality women have the majority of the bargaining power in the dating market, so they hold out for Mr. Right.
As those women age, their dating pool of eligible bachelors gets smaller and smaller as the high-quality men are coupled with less choosy women. And as the numbers of eligible bachelors decrease, those high-quality women continue to compete for the same limited number of high-quality men.
But these women do not lower their standards. Mostly because they are used to calling the shots and might be blissfully unaware that their dating clout is diminishing. The bloom may be coming off the rose, but the rose still doesn’t want to grow with weeds. And besides, many women decide that being single and cultivating their own damn garden is a better option.
my opinion: YOU'VE NAILED IT!
The top 5% of men on dating apps receive 41.1% of all women’s likes. So the hot guys hog all the attention while the regular guy gets ignored. (In contrast, the top 5% of women on dating apps receive 30.6% of men’s likes.)
And if you are a man in the bottom 50%, you will get only a dismal 4.3% of all women’s likes.
my opinion:
Consequently, educated and uneducated women both flock to urban areas in hopes of finding Mr. Right. Unfortunately, the most eligible bachelors living in urban areas do not particularly care whether a woman is intelligent, educated, or successful. He cares if she is attractive.
And most women do not want to choose a man based on his bank account. Their financial independence allows them to choose someone based on kindness, intelligence, ambition, humor, and loyalty. But here is the rub — most men are emasculated by the woman who can pay her own bills. They don’t want that independent woman.
No, you harridan, they don't want a b!tchy woman.
This leaves many of us in a thorny conundrum — lower our standards or stay single? And as the hourglass empties, many of us are well aware that our rose is turning to dust.
Personally, I prefer to stay single until I find “Mr. Doesn’t Have Sex with Prostitutes.” That’s a low enough bar.
my opinion: If you really felt that way, there are plenty of normie-tier men with the good job & education that would exceed that "bar" - but they might be short, ethnic, Aspie, weak jawline, bad goinal angle, prey eyes, etc. Have fun with your CATS!
