"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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article: When It Comes To Romantic Attraction, Real Life Beats Questionnaires

MatureDJ

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www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/09/06/548645037/when-it-comes-to-romantic-attraction-real-life-beats-questionnaires
Dating sites claim to winnow a few ideal suitors out of a nigh-infinite pool of chaff. But the matches these algorithms offer may be no better than picking partners at random, a study finds.
Dating sites claim to winnow a few ideal suitors out of a nigh-infinite pool of chaff. But the matches these algorithms offer may be no better than picking partners at random, a study finds.
My opinion: The most important traits are physical attractiveness, age, intelligence/education, money/job (for women) & no kids (for men). Everything else is fluff, even though it shouldn't be.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Wilko

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I always found the "matchmaking" aspects of OLD absurd - how dumb do you have to be to rely on an algorithm to tell you whether you get along with someone? The worst sites are the ones that only allow you to contact the people they recommend to you. E-harmony was the f*cking worst for that bullsh*t.

Speaking of which, have you seen the new ads for E-harmony basically promoting cuckoldry? There's always some (formerly) single mom raving about how great e-harmony is, and there's always some poor dumb schmuck sat next to her, pleading with his dead eyes - what the f*ck have I done?! There's another one where the woman openly mocks her new boyfriend, saying how awkward he was. What. The. Actual. F*ck.

Some barriers to entry might be a good idea though, I like the idea of "curated" OLD.

Hell, if I ran an OLD site, instead of flagging profanity and nudity in people's profiles, I'd ban the f*ck out of people for using daft cliches. Probably institute some rule where you have a minimum and maximum number of messages. Minimum to keep the girls from getting too lazy, and a maximum to stop the guys from acting all thirsty. Go over or under and I'll hide your account for a week.

Yeah, that would work actually - a successful site would moderate the worst tendencies of both genders. You need to stop women from acting like entitled princesses, and prevent men from acting like slobbering jerks.

Sadly, I don't think it would be too popular.
 
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MatureDJ

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I often wondered if eHarmony's MO was to limit the number of folks matched up so that folks would feel a sense of shortage and therefore be more accepting of any potential.
 
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