"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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article: The Psychology of 'Backburner' Relationships

MatureDJ

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http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/10/the-psychology-of-backburner-relationships/381848/

my opinion: This is about the typical woman rejecting her man at first, but trying to keep him as an option down the line once she decides that her biological clock is ticking and she needs him to "man up". She figures that if she builds up a big enough stable, at least one of them will be available for her to reel back in - and all she needs to do for this is to re-establish communication, invite him over for dinner, and then come on to him, allowing him access to the Golden Vijaya.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Who Dares Win

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Thats when you bang them and leave right after.

I mean I find nothing wrong to do whatever I feel after she did the same, its written nowhere that its her plan that has to be successfully accomplished and not ours.

As long as you dont invest much and it doesnt cost you anything, I dont find to be in some woman orbit to be so bad, there is the passive orbiter like this case which of course is a total different thing than the active orbiter which is the one we talk about often in this forum.
 
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