article: No One is Entitled to Sex: Why We Should Mock the Nice Guys of OkCupid

[MatureDJ]

No One is Entitled to Sex: Why We Should Mock the Nice Guys of OkCupid

Since 2007, Jezebel has been the Internet's most treasured source for everything celebrities, sex, and politics...with teeth.

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The great unifying theme of the curated profiles is indignation. These are young men who were told that if they were nice, then, as Laurie Penny puts it, they feel that women "must be obliged to have sex with them." The subtext of virtually all of their profiles, the mournful and the bilious alike, is that these young men feel cheated. Raised to believe in a perverse social/sexual contract that promised access to women's bodies in exchange for rote expressions of kindness, these boys have at least begun to learn that there is no Magic Sex Fairy.

It's one thing to believe that the state ought to provide food, shelter, and health care to those who can't afford these necessities of survival. It's another thing to say that the state should ensure that even the hideous and the clueless have occasional orgasms provided for them others.

 

[Mike32ct]

I’ve talked about this several times. It’s not so much that the nice guy is disingenuous and using niceness to get sex per se. It’s more that he knows (consciously or unconsciously) that he isn’t the looks type that most women go for. So being direct is off of the table; otherwise he will be immediately rejected and branded a creeper. So he tries (ineffectively) to play a “long game” by being friends first as a conservative (less risk of being called a creeper) approach.

TLDR: He’s not evil or manipulative. He slowly dips his toe in the cold pool rather than jump right in and risk cardiac arrest from the thermal shock of the icy water. Being friends first is his conservative (though not so effective) approach.

The nice guy would love to be more direct and straightforward with his crush, if he felt like he had a realistic chance at doing so. But he knows better.

 

[Spaz]

Spaz's view on Mr. Goody 2 shoes.

Nice guys don't have the loyalty of an azzhole nor the bravery to say no when it's needed the most.

I rather hire degenerates and mold them into my image then have apple polishers.

I rather do business with a known azzhole then Mr. Nice guy businessman, whose word means so little and carry little weight.

I rather have degenerates in my inner circle then have Mr. Nice guy, who has no backbone and would likely betray my confidence when put under pressure.

And I think women are doing it right to filter them out.

So to all the Mr. Nice guys here, you deserve to be stepped on....daily....weekly...hourly until you grow some balls.

 

[Who Dares Win]

The problem that many guys have (not their fault, environment and education play a big role) is that they realize that they lack the proper currency to get girls (looks and status) so they try to balance with niceness (pathological altruism and committment) as if it was accepted as currency itself.

I also agree with what Mike32 said above.

The problem is that guys are told that if they lack look they have to work harder as if work was an equally valuable currency for women, they should be told to improve their look and status and that those are the way the payment is accepted.

I find it very unlikely for any of us to pay the restaurant bill in euros and with monopoly money the missing part...no matter how much we put of these.

 

[corrector]

Sure 9/10 women will say no

...and the other 1/10 may give you a pity "yes" just for the moment but flake-out or ghost tomorrow.

From the masculine imperative, being creepy is not a sin, being a nice guy is. Validating the word creepy is living in women's frames.

So if you are outrightly rejected and branded a creeper, as Mike32c put it, then that's living in woman's frames?

If I feel I must procreate, I would murder, plunder, steal, turn the world upside down and get my creep on....if that's what it takes. My genetics will survive because of dominance alone. Not even morality would stop me.

Or sharing a jail cell with your new boyfriend Bubba?

All of these rules and limitations are in your head. God forbid the modern day nice guy had to live in the 1500's where you had to fight for survival. The human race would have extincted.

But you didn't have feminism, the internet, or no fault-divorce back then, or women calling the police on their husbands, etc...

 

[Robert28]

I think the confusing thing is we are told to “be different” from other guys, being a nice guy IS different than being an *******. Then we are told to pursue women like the ******* does, so how is that me being different and separating myself from other guys? I think women tend to throw out GOOD men along with nice guys. I can be a good man and I don’t have to sit around and play games and say no to a woman all the time. However I will eventually get fed up with her **** and walk. “Just be friends” me all you want, I’ll reply “ok bye” and I am gone. I don’t do the whole “I don’t want to be friends, I want to date you” speech. To me it’s too late by then and I’ll convey my answer to her friends proposal by walking away with saying just those two simple words. She will figure it out or she won’t, not my problem.

 

[zekko]

The nice guy would love to be more direct and straightforward with his crush, if he felt like he had a realistic chance at doing so. But he knows better.

Reminds me of the Big Bang Theory when Penny tells Howard he should quit trying so hard. Howard (who is a short, scrawny nerd) says "Look at me, what chance do I have if I don't try too hard?".

He's not going to be be selected because of his natural attributes. So he has to try something else to get their attention.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I think the confusing thing is we are told to “be different” from other guys, being a nice guy IS different than being an *******.

But, you're not being "different" as 90+% of all guys are bona fide "nice guys" by definition.

The goal isn't to be a nice guy or a jerk. The goal is to be a DJ who is a MAN. I could write a 1000-word missive on this and probably have in prior posts. Read some of my historical posts on exactly what a DJ is.

Good luck.

 

[sangheilios]

Damn, I'm 6'4", attractive, naturally broad shouldered and really fit/have a nice body and I struggle with OLD......so for those guys to feel entitled to women on there is almost laughable.

With that aside, being a legitimately good guy is never a bad thing, but it has to be genuine and not some fake yes man persona. Granted, some women do in fact not see good men as potential bf material, but this is often due to issues that they have. I've known of trashy women say how they get bored easily and seek out men who are unstable and bring a ton of issues to the table, some want to "fix' them while others just need excitement. Bat**** crazy females do not actively pursue stable men lol.

Normal and well adjusted women are looking for good men that are stable but they also have to be attracted to them.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

SMV means sexual market value. You can make your sexual swag stronger and more of your default mental state by engaging in regular non paid sexual intercourse. Women can see that in a man and it turns them on. Whats obviously not attractive is having this checklist of items such as finance, credit even body and an unearned entitlement because your having zero success. The entire mindset needs to be reworked. If a man is out of tge saddle he needs to TAKE WHAT HE CAN GET and work its way upwards. Dating for marriage or LTR is a fail as seen often on this site. Have fun and get your SMV validated and elevated thru sex. Let women try to get youin a relationship. You worry about fvcking and making yourself happy. Thats how it goes we been over it.

 

[Epic Days]

Nice guys is what gives the Feminine Imperative its validation and power. I don't feel bad for them and it is their fault. They get so enmeshed with their victim butt hurt that they don't stop and look around. Not worth saving.

Now a man that has had his arse handed to him when he did "everything" right...but got hammered, and KNOWS the world isn't right? He can possibly be salvaged. Every single guy on here just couldn't accept the fact that there was something wrong with the world and most likely himself, that he had to go find out the truth. Those Nice guys are destructive to our civilization. I hope they never get laid until that switch goes off in his head.

 

[sangheilios]

SMV means sexual market value. You can make your sexual swag stronger and more of your default mental state by engaging in regular non paid sexual intercourse. Women can see that in a man and it turns them on. Whats obviously not attractive is having this checklist of items such as finance, credit even body and an unearned entitlement because your having zero success. The entire mindset needs to be reworked. If a man is out of tge saddle he needs to TAKE WHAT HE CAN GET and work its way upwards. Dating for marriage or LTR is a fail as seen often on this site. Have fun and get your SMV validated and elevated thru sex. Let women try to get youin a relationship. You worry about fvcking and making yourself happy. Thats how it goes we been over it.

That's not true. A man that is doing well in life, sober, educated, financially successful, fit and all that should feel that he is worthy of women that are just like him. I bring a ton of stuff to the table but yet chronically single and struggle with dating, so I'm supposed to date fat and unattractive women that do drugs, smoke, drink, etc.? Obviously the answer is no, because that just shows a lack of self respect and standards.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's not true. A man that is doing well in life, sober, educated, financially successful, fit and all that should feel that he is worthy of women that are just like him. I bring a ton of stuff to the table but yet chronically single and struggle with dating, so I'm supposed to date fat and unattractive women that do drugs, smoke, drink, etc.? Obviously the answer is no, because that just shows a lack of self respect and standards.

Because your probably arrogant about your success and not fun to be around. The women is another area like a new sport or hobby that you have to increase your skill. Your not the only sharp guy to get burned like this and stuck in the position because you KNOW you deserve better. Your not the first guy. Charming social and sexually attractive guy swag needs to grow.

 

[sangheilios]

Because your probably arrogant about your success and not fun to be around. The women is another area like a new sport or hobby that you have to increase your skill. Your not the only sharp guy to get burned like this and stuck in the position because you KNOW you deserve better. Your not the first guy. Charming social and sexually attractive guy swag needs to grow.

Well, that I can agree with.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well, that I can agree with.

Yep it happens to really sharp guys. Then u go in the pub and see guys who ride alot lower doing so well with them. They are doing the dance correctly for the women in that environment.

 

[sangheilios]

Yep it happens to really sharp guys. Then u go in the pub and see guys who ride alot lower doing so well with them. They are doing the dance correctly for the women in that environment.

I've met guys that literally brought nothing to the table and even had VERY negative traits and still were able to get women. I met a guy several months ago, who I almost punched in the mouth, that was short, unattractive, not in shape, had no money, did drugs, had a criminal history and still was a shady character and he was able to get women. However, the women that are going for him are just as bad as he is, so that isn't exactly saying much at all lol.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've met guys that literally brought nothing to the table and even had VERY negative traits and still were able to get women. I met a guy several months ago, who I almost punched in the mouth, that was short, unattractive, not in shape, had no money, did drugs, had a criminal history and still was a shady character and he was able to get women. However, the women that are going for him are just as bad as he is, so that isn't exactly saying much at all lol.

Some of them are admired for their shadiness. Don't ask me why. It might be closer to some of these females mindsets. A user or gold digger might admire the same in a man. Con man and crook qualities.

 

[sangheilios]

Some of them are admired for their shadiness. Don't ask me why. It might be closer to some of these females mindsets. A user or gold digger might admire the same in a man. Con man and crook qualities.

For sure. In my area I know of a handful of real estate scam artists that are around my age. On their instagram profiles they post all these selfies with these large checks they get from their sales, show pictures of their expensive houses, cars, vacations, etc. However, if you read the descriptions they all have some sort of ad about signing up for their real estate seminars or investing into their real estate group. Clearly it is all a scam lol. One of them claimed to be making minimum wage just a few years ago and now is living a life like that lol.

Anyway, their entire lives are fake, from their friends to the women they are with and to the material possessions they display on their social media, which I know they don't actually own and are instead up to their eyeballs in debt.

It's a little comical but at the end of the day they'll get what's coming to them, and I'm referring to not just the scam artists but the women that they attract.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

For sure. In my area I know of a handful of real estate scam artists that are around my age. On their instagram profiles they post all these selfies with these large checks they get from their sales, show pictures of their expensive houses, cars, vacations, etc. However, if you read the descriptions they all have some sort of ad about signing up for their real estate seminars or investing into their real estate group. Clearly it is all a scam lol. One of them claimed to be making minimum wage just a few years ago and now is living a life like that lol.

Anyway, their entire lives are fake, from their friends to the women they are with and to the material possessions they display on their social media, which I know they don't actually own and are instead up to their eyeballs in debt.

It's a little comical but at the end of the day they'll get what's coming to them, and I'm referring to not just the scam artists but the women that they attract.

The women themselves tend to be extremely fraudulent and heavy users of men.

 

[sangheilios]

The women themselves tend to be extremely fraudulent and heavy users of men.

These people I'm referring to are men, but yes the women that "love" them are just gold diggers.