article: How unrequited love can torture your soul for ever: ... doomed obsession with the man who took her virginity still hurts after 50 years

[MatureDJ]

The ultimate alpha widow?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...ession-man-took-virginity-hurts-50-years.html

He was easily the most handsome and intriguing-looking young man I had ever seen in my life. Dark, brooding and with a hint of world-weary danger, he was a cross between a 19th-century decadent poet and a Hollywood heartthrob.

I was just a few weeks into my first term at Newcastle University, and determined to lose my virginity at the first opportunity. I resolved that he would be the one to do the deed.

Eventually, my efforts were rewarded. I was sitting in the library one day when he walked in. I felt white-hot desire and, propelled by almost insane love and longing, walked over to him. From then on, we started a sort of relationship. We would meet at parties and other functions — at which, I have to admit, he paid me scant attention. But I would interpret any little crumb of affection or interest as undying love on his part.

But he was still being a very reluctant swain, and although keen enough to have sex, he never once asked me out, or even seemed to want to be seen with me.

Although we inevitably kept bumping into each other, John ignored me totally, never even acknowledging my presence. Not only did he not love me, he didn’t even like me very much.

To add to the agony, he soon had another girlfriend, a proper one this time, and he even seemed keen on her, paying her the sort of attention he’d never bestowed upon me.

Neville came to see me out of the blue one evening, saying he was crazy about me. He too was in his first year at my university. We went out, off and on, for nearly three years before marrying at the age of 21, while we were still students.

Our marriage was successful and we established ourselves as journalists and writers and had two sons, Tom and Will, now aged 44 and 42.
But I could never forget John Pellowe and the memory of my unrequited love for him put a pall on the marriage, with Neville always feeling he was somehow second best. He used to refer to ‘that chap in your past’ — neither of us could even bring ourselves to mention his name, though we both remembered it only too well.

In the late Eighties after 20 years of marriage, when our children were 17 and 18, Neville and I divorced. I moved to Central London to live alone in a flat. It was entirely amicable — no one walked out and there was no one else involved. While I was walking round the communal garden one day, disturbing memories of John Pellowe rose to the surface and wouldn’t go away.

I knew he’d briefly married, and found the number of his ex-wife. She told me he was teaching in the University of Singapore, but was in Wales for a few weeks staying with his daughter.

She gave me the number and I rang it, heart pounding as wildly as it had done 25 years earlier. A deep, gruff, unfamiliar voice answered. Yes, it was him. The only problem was, he had no recollection whatsoever of me.

 

[sosousage]

So weird

 

[Who Dares Win]

Solidarity to the poor fvckers who happen to think that their wife is giving herself to them cause she "understood" what matters rather than picking the least worst available option before its too late.

Something that should be pushed inside any man's head is that when a woman see you as a backup plan, the only possibile outcome is to be considered a commodity or an utility to settle her needs and validate her with a relationship.

Its not even about you, its about her and you are a gadget not any different than that prada bag or that iphone.

Any man should be instructed to the concepts of alpha widow, war brides, LMS theory and 80-20 ratio.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"a very reluctant swain" LOL

 

[lamath]

I wonder if she would have felt the same way in our social media OLD age.

Some women do the same to men.