article: Gen Z’s Romance Gap: Why Nearly Half of Young Men Aren’t Dating

MatureDJ

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Around 2010, if you were in the field doing approaches and you didn't have a smartphone when collecting digits for the first time, the woman would be repulsed and she would seriously consider ending the interaction then or maybe giving the digits then ghosting. That's how important having a smartphone became. Additionally, if a guy set up a date on a website then (like Match, Okcupid, or Plenty of Fish), he'd still be expected to have a smartphone. Sooner or later (likely during the first or second date), the woman would see what cell phone he owned and if he didn't own a smartphone, she would ghost.

The smartphone gaining popularity a lot of things about the mating atmosphere but a lot of those trends were already in motion.
Last year, I had macking set where I got a gal's digits, and when I punched them into my phone, she called my phone "archaic". Of course, she ended up ghosting me. PhoneMogged :mad: :mad:
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Last year, I had macking set where I got a gal's digits, and when I punched them into my phone, she called my phone "archaic". Of course, she ended up ghosting me. PhoneMogged :mad: :mad:
No, she didn't phonemog you.
She was testing if you were witty enough to say that your phone was like you. A good vintage.
You failed. No nookie for you.
 

MatureDJ

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Fascinating how the 2008 statistic was basically the same as the 1989 statistic...yet skyrocketed ever since 2008.
Uh, it had bounced around between 1989 & 2008, but has been on a steady tear upwards only since 2008.
 

GoodMan32

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I did see the writing on the wall throughout my college years (2001-2005) that inceldom was going to become common.

One of the things I saw on campus is that most men who tried to live the "player" lifestyle and seduce numerous women were generally sexless men. When I say generally sexless men, I'm referring to both men who were completely sexless (the worst cases) or men who often failed to get sex but would occasionally have same night sex from an approach at a college party/bar or another instance of shorter term sex. It was clear to me that a good portion of men on many "Hot Girl U" party campus were invisible/barely visible to women. I didn't have a phrase to explain it then but what I was seeing was the Pareto Principle in action. That's the 80-20 rule.

Most men outside of the Top 10-20% had to get some sort of girlfriend while on campus in order to get regular access to sex or they would be watching internet porn. This is something both @Jesse Pinkman and I have mentioned on the college threads below in the past.



I started to see the erosion of social skills as early as my freshman year dorm when I saw a lot of people using AOL Instant Messenger (a precursor to text messaging) be widely used for communication. MySpace and Facebook started to come in around my senior year in the 2004-2005 school year and changed this more. Online dating websites weren't commonly used by college students when I was on campus as they were de-stigmatizing more so for the 20s/30s post-college crowd at that time.



That chart only illustrates the changes in men 18-29 reporting no sex since their 18th birthday. That isn't a measurement of virginity but a measure of incel status. It's possible respondents had sex prior to age 18 and incel status common means one year or more without sex involuntarily.

The chart is more of a measure of late Millennial sexlessness than Gen Z sexlessness, as the chart ends in 2018. In 2018, the oldest Gen Z's were only 21. 22-29 year olds in 2018 were Millennials. Sexlessness and incel status took root during the Gen Y/Millennial generation and has persisted into Gen Z. It would be interesting to see where long term sexlessness is now in 2023-2024.

The simplistic answer to the skyrocketing since 2008 would be the smartphone. Apple's first iPhone was released in 2007. The first generation iPhone was not the first overall smartphone but it was the first smartphone to change the overall cellular phone market. The popularity of the iPhone starting in 2007 made it necessary for men to have smartphone to ask women out in person by 2010.

Around 2010, if you were in the field doing approaches and you didn't have a smartphone when collecting digits for the first time, the woman would be repulsed and she would seriously consider ending the interaction then or maybe giving the digits then ghosting. That's how important having a smartphone became. Additionally, if a guy set up a date on a website then (like Match, Okcupid, or Plenty of Fish), he'd still be expected to have a smartphone. Sooner or later (likely during the first or second date), the woman would see what cell phone he owned and if he didn't own a smartphone, she would ghost.

The smartphone gaining popularity a lot of things about the mating atmosphere but a lot of those trends were already in motion.
Being 8 years younger than you, the social skills erosion had gotten worse by the time I was in college. I saw a similar pattern to the one you described (despite the stereotype of college men having casual sex galore, most sexually active male classmates got their sex from a girlfriend). I've heard of the 80/20 rule too.

Maybe I lucked out in terms of the flip phone stigma, but I don't really remember my flip phone (which I kept until 2016) holding me back with the broads I gamed. Lots of other stuff held me back of course.
 

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despite the stereotype of college men having casual sex galore, most sexually active male classmates got their sex from a girlfriend
On a college campus, females can get as much sex as they want. The same applies for women who aren't enrolled in college (either college grads or non-college grads). Most women on campus aren't overly promiscuous though there are some who will put up a decent notch count. A lot of women will get boyfriends and keep their notch count smaller.

As for men, sex on a college campus is not plentiful, even at so-called 'party schools'. A lot of men figure this out quickly and go the girlfriend route. There are times when men go to the same in-state university as their longest term girlfriend from high school and that relationship continues into college. It doesn't always (or even usually) last throughout all 4 years of college, but it will at least cover a portion of college. Many men will change out girlfriends during the 4 years of college too. The exclusive, committed relationship is important in getting sex regularly during the college years, even at public universities with no religious affiliation.

The college sex & romance environment is a bit different at universities with more serious religious affiliations. These religious affiliations are usually associated with a Christian faith. 'Ring by Spring' is a still a thing at those colleges.
 

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On a college campus, females can get as much sex as they want. The same applies for women who aren't enrolled in college (either college grads or non-college grads). Most women on campus aren't overly promiscuous though there are some who will put up a decent notch count. A lot of women will get boyfriends and keep their notch count smaller.

As for men, sex on a college campus is not plentiful, even at so-called 'party schools'. A lot of men figure this out quickly and go the girlfriend route. There are times when men go to the same in-state university as their longest term girlfriend from high school and that relationship continues into college. It doesn't always (or even usually) last throughout all 4 years of college, but it will at least cover a portion of college. Many men will change out girlfriends during the 4 years of college too. The exclusive, committed relationship is important in getting sex regularly during the college years, even at public universities with no religious affiliation.

The college sex & romance environment is a bit different at universities with more serious religious affiliations. These religious affiliations are usually associated with a Christian faith. 'Ring by Spring' is a still a thing at those colleges.
Tell me about it (college broads being able to get as much sex as they want). I've mentioned on here that my freshman year clique in college had 2 clams and 6 sausages. One of the clams had sex with 2 of those sausages. Even within her own clique, she got around.
 

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Tell me about it (college broads being able to get as much sex as they want). I've mentioned on here that my freshman year clique in college had 2 clams and 6 sausages. One of the clams had sex with 2 of those sausages. Even within her own clique, she got around.
Stuff happens. Based on my own experiences, I can imagine this.

In adult working world social circles, many times women will get offers from multiple men in the same social circles. I have seen this happen as well. It's up to the women how much they get around. In many cases in social circles, women will only get serious with one man from the circle, but might go on dates with multiple men from the circle. At a minimum, they'll field approaches from multiple men in the circle.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Tell me about it (college broads being able to get as much sex as they want). I've mentioned on here that my freshman year clique in college had 2 clams and 6 sausages. One of the clams had sex with 2 of those sausages. Even within her own clique, she got around.
Your bitterness over this is really pathetic, reducing humans to clams and sausages.

You could learn all the PUA tricks in the world, but with your attitude, I don't think you will get anyone LTR.
 

GoodMan32

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Stuff happens. Based on my own experiences, I can imagine this.

In adult working world social circles, many times women will get offers from multiple men in the same social circles. I have seen this happen as well. It's up to the women how much they get around. In many cases in social circles, women will only get serious with one man from the circle, but might go on dates with multiple men from the circle. At a minimum, they'll field approaches from multiple men in the circle.
Which is why it's insulting (to me) that the 2 girls from my freshman year college clique each dated 2 dudes from our clique (one of the dudes was even lucky enough to date both girls), yet never expressed anything more than platonic interest in me.

And even of the 2 dudes in our clique who never dated those girls, they at least had their own girlfriend. I was the only one who was single our whole freshman year.
 

GoodMan32

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Your bitterness over this is really pathetic, reducing humans to clams and sausages.

You could learn all the PUA tricks in the world, but with your attitude, I don't think you will get anyone LTR.
"Clams and sausages" sounds funnier than "men and women" or "guys and girls."

I have the effect (in real life) of being funny without even trying sometimes.

I don't want a long term relationship at this time by the way; all I want is casual sex. Even though most men are the opposite, I was more open to a long term relationship in my younger days (but just want to play around at 33)
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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