MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 12,734
- Reaction score
- 5,151
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
article: Confessions: 7 reasons why women cheat
- Thread starter MatureDJ
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
KarmaSutra
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2005
- Messages
- 4,818
- Reaction score
- 142
- Age
- 53
Here's the one which I believe is the only one that's true:
His allure was his ability to bed many exotic women. What would make her think he would ever be exclusive?
She knew exactly who he was before she willfully and wantonly spread them creamy thighs of hers.
His allure was his ability to bed many exotic women. What would make her think he would ever be exclusive?
The get-out-of-jail free card for the throw-away woman.
Some common themes emerge:
- Women don't feel guilty when they cheat.
- when an oppertuinty to cheat is there, they will follow with it.
- They always blame their current men they are with or their own "younger self" for cheating, never take responsibility for their own actions or admit that they are simply following their hypergamous nature.
- They feel better with their decision if they don't get caught.
- All or most of the men that got cheated on never found out (about the intention to cheat or the cheating itself).
- Most never left their current partner until they were sure they can "branch swing" for long terms security with the new partner.
- Women don't feel guilty when they cheat.
- when an oppertuinty to cheat is there, they will follow with it.
- They always blame their current men they are with or their own "younger self" for cheating, never take responsibility for their own actions or admit that they are simply following their hypergamous nature.
- They feel better with their decision if they don't get caught.
- All or most of the men that got cheated on never found out (about the intention to cheat or the cheating itself).
- Most never left their current partner until they were sure they can "branch swing" for long terms security with the new partner.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
And woman wonder why many men turn complete cold heart jerks. Theres no way around it. Guys are alpha and feeling and looking good at the start because we're trying to attract the girl. After a while the guy kind of settles down in a comfort zone. Then the girl leaves him after he settles himself down. But if the opposite happens, the guy becomes public enemy #1.
Guys just deal with the fact that if there's no major force that make her needing you there will be no comfort or final peace at all, forget about a life with no sh1t tests or games.
If she doesnt need you,you better sleep with an open eye, the sooner you deal with that the better.
ps the two posters above me told it perfectly, thats the truth they dont want you to know.
If she doesnt need you,you better sleep with an open eye, the sooner you deal with that the better.
ps the two posters above me told it perfectly, thats the truth they dont want you to know.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
- 186
- Age
- 47
Why make it more complicated than it has to be?
Women cheat because the "relationship" is not providing them with what they really want. The reason they "cheat" instead of breaking it off is because women are non-confrontational by nature. They're not typically strong, physically or emotionally, so they don't want to break up with a guy and have him flip out either emotionally/socially ("you're a slvt, I hate you") or even physically ("You can't leave, I'll kill you!"). The woman really has no recourse.
If you're paying attention, you'll KNOW long before she cheats that her eyes are wandering.
The problem is that most non-Juans aren't paying attention. They lock a girl down with the "relationship" tag, then expect her to abide by it...instead of keeping their woman happy or at least content, they assume that a woman's word alone is enough to keep her in her less-than-ideal position against her will. Then they slack off.
You can't stop women from cheating. You can only stop them from WANTING to cheat...by being awesome.
Women cheat because the "relationship" is not providing them with what they really want. The reason they "cheat" instead of breaking it off is because women are non-confrontational by nature. They're not typically strong, physically or emotionally, so they don't want to break up with a guy and have him flip out either emotionally/socially ("you're a slvt, I hate you") or even physically ("You can't leave, I'll kill you!"). The woman really has no recourse.
If you're paying attention, you'll KNOW long before she cheats that her eyes are wandering.
The problem is that most non-Juans aren't paying attention. They lock a girl down with the "relationship" tag, then expect her to abide by it...instead of keeping their woman happy or at least content, they assume that a woman's word alone is enough to keep her in her less-than-ideal position against her will. Then they slack off.
You can't stop women from cheating. You can only stop them from WANTING to cheat...by being awesome.
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,945
- Reaction score
- 70
- Age
- 45
3 Things come to mind that prevent women from cheating, the first is something most dudes here would probably disagree with me on, but whatever:
1. Communication - state your grievences. Learn hers. Leave nothing up for interpretation and don't let sh!t fester. Unspoken problems grow, and the more lack of communication, to better it is for her, AND YOU to disconnect. TALK. TO. HER.
2. Observing her interest level and acting accordingly - The phonecalls. The sex. Her personal time. If any of these start to wane and her time starts becoming devoted to someone else, be it friends or anything else (full time work or school is a different story, even then you should keep an eye out) be prepared...
Don't be surprised if she's at a party and she accidentally kisses another man...or woman.. lol "I don't know what I was doing! It was just a bl0wjob...We didn't even fu*k!"
3. Always have something going on for yourself - As MEN we are all born to lead in some way, be it your regular 9 to 5 or building something great for yourself. Your option to walk away and still be happy without her is something women can't stand. In most cases a woman will leave a man when he's at his worst and if he's feeling like a total loser.
The signs are there. Unfortunately for the untrained eye it can be too late.
1. Communication - state your grievences. Learn hers. Leave nothing up for interpretation and don't let sh!t fester. Unspoken problems grow, and the more lack of communication, to better it is for her, AND YOU to disconnect. TALK. TO. HER.
2. Observing her interest level and acting accordingly - The phonecalls. The sex. Her personal time. If any of these start to wane and her time starts becoming devoted to someone else, be it friends or anything else (full time work or school is a different story, even then you should keep an eye out) be prepared...
Don't be surprised if she's at a party and she accidentally kisses another man...or woman.. lol "I don't know what I was doing! It was just a bl0wjob...We didn't even fu*k!"
3. Always have something going on for yourself - As MEN we are all born to lead in some way, be it your regular 9 to 5 or building something great for yourself. Your option to walk away and still be happy without her is something women can't stand. In most cases a woman will leave a man when he's at his worst and if he's feeling like a total loser.
The signs are there. Unfortunately for the untrained eye it can be too late.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I agree with your post.ThunderMaverick said:
#1 is true, nothing wrong with talking and communicating at all.
#3 is true but sometimes life throws a curve ball and things get bad unfortunately sometimes the girl leaves the guy at his worst and makes it VERY hard for the guy. I went through this and felt like my whole world was just coming down. and it happened piece by piece. I got pretty fat and my health was very bad, I Lost my job at a large investment Bank, Then lost my Luxury Car, Then got Sued by a bank that crushed my Money invested in my business, then my mother got severely sick that caused alot of stress on me, i ended up in the ER myself, then my fiance to be left me to go party and meet guys and as soon as she leaves me shes posts on facebook how much she loves her new BF and is getting married. As you can imagine.. I felt like i hit rock bottom.
I can see how a man can really lose his mind when more is at stake,.. for example, Loss of Job, Car, Money, Wife and kids and the man feels as if he's stripped of everything. very crazy experience im sure.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Its true but Overall i think one of the main problems today is the glorified attitudes we see on television. For example, its on reality shows, movies, magazines etc how woman should "dump that loser" or go get a "better" man, its going downhill real fast. The attitude these girls now a days have is out with the old in with the new and is heavily supported by her girlfriends all around her.Edward Luvingston said:
Colossus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
- Messages
- 3,494
- Reaction score
- 543
Squirrels is right on.
Women typically cheat because some need is going unmet in the relationship---usually emotional. Rarely is cheating a purely physical affair with women; it starts with some emotional doors being opened and the other guy meeting whatever need her husband/BF isnt. From that point it goes to sex.
So you have a reason--some emotional need unfulfilled---and an opportunity--another man comes along who gives, or at least appears to be giving it to her. Then comes sex, and it all becomes justifiable to her (it just happened, I didnt mean to, it worked out for the best) before the guy ever finds out.
If you look at those examples (whether they are real or not), that's the common theme. No passion, opposite interests, meeting a really nice guy after being with a jerk, long-distance, and of course the classic branch-swinging to avoid a confrontational breakup or being left alone.
This is just my opinion, but women are actually remarkably loyal when they are truly happy with their man. They will move mountains for him. It's when the guy gets lazy or apathetic that these doors sometimes open, or maybe they were just a bad match to begin with.
I once hooked up with a really good female friend in college. We had dated a bit as freshmen, but never had sex, then just became good buds. So she eventually got together with a guy and became really serious. About three years after we dated we slept together on my 26th b-day. It was her driving it the whole way---I was hammered drunk, it was my b-day, and my pseudo-"gf" didnt even give me a phone call that day...so I did it. Never regretted it. Surprisingly, she didnt seem to either. We still continued to hang out like nothing happened, and she reminisced about it happily on occasion. To this day I dont really know why she did it, because her bf was a really cool guy and they are now married with a baby on the way. I think it was probably an absence thing, because he was away for the Army a lot. One of many reasons I dont believe in LDRs.
Women typically cheat because some need is going unmet in the relationship---usually emotional. Rarely is cheating a purely physical affair with women; it starts with some emotional doors being opened and the other guy meeting whatever need her husband/BF isnt. From that point it goes to sex.
So you have a reason--some emotional need unfulfilled---and an opportunity--another man comes along who gives, or at least appears to be giving it to her. Then comes sex, and it all becomes justifiable to her (it just happened, I didnt mean to, it worked out for the best) before the guy ever finds out.
If you look at those examples (whether they are real or not), that's the common theme. No passion, opposite interests, meeting a really nice guy after being with a jerk, long-distance, and of course the classic branch-swinging to avoid a confrontational breakup or being left alone.
This is just my opinion, but women are actually remarkably loyal when they are truly happy with their man. They will move mountains for him. It's when the guy gets lazy or apathetic that these doors sometimes open, or maybe they were just a bad match to begin with.
I once hooked up with a really good female friend in college. We had dated a bit as freshmen, but never had sex, then just became good buds. So she eventually got together with a guy and became really serious. About three years after we dated we slept together on my 26th b-day. It was her driving it the whole way---I was hammered drunk, it was my b-day, and my pseudo-"gf" didnt even give me a phone call that day...so I did it. Never regretted it. Surprisingly, she didnt seem to either. We still continued to hang out like nothing happened, and she reminisced about it happily on occasion. To this day I dont really know why she did it, because her bf was a really cool guy and they are now married with a baby on the way. I think it was probably an absence thing, because he was away for the Army a lot. One of many reasons I dont believe in LDRs.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
typical
Master Don Juan
There are actually two types of cheating One is the physical one the other is emotional. The latter being much more damaging to the person who is being cheated on.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
The 1 Reason women cheat:
Hypergamy.
Hypergamy.
Rollo hit it spot on the head. Hypergamy. In other words its a POWER PLAY.
When women cheat, the analogy is like a man with a good job looking for a better job at the same time, what better time to see what your work options are than when you have a fallback position. Don't be fooled by a woman's tears or histrionics, the underlying motive is pure opportunism.
When women cheat, the analogy is like a man with a good job looking for a better job at the same time, what better time to see what your work options are than when you have a fallback position. Don't be fooled by a woman's tears or histrionics, the underlying motive is pure opportunism.
I'm surprised there are still plenty of men who take that "relationship" label so serious to the point that it defines them and even their lives. Perhaps even more so then women. From my limited experience women stray because needs are not being fulfilled (usually it's their stupid emotions).
Andy_Dufresne
Senior Don Juan
The article was written by a woman, and all the respondents with their excuses disguising low IL were women.
It drives home the rule of thumb.....never take relationship advice from a woman.
It drives home the rule of thumb.....never take relationship advice from a woman.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,797
- Reaction score
- 10,027
Some women just cheat, it's all they know.Warrior74 said:
I'd be willing to bet this woman would still be cheating no matter who she was married to.
Some women simply aren't happy unless they are getting attention from multiple men (and especially a 9 who is used to getting a lot of attention).
I think you'll find that the thing that all these have in common is they try to blame the man for the woman cheating.
Never blame yourself if/when your girl cheats. It's very tempting because it returns control to you, which makes you feel better than being out of control.
"If I'd only _______ then she wouldn't have cheated," is a common misconception. She cheated because she's a greedy slut (or whatever), not because of anything you did or didn't do. Keep that in mind.
And when the shoe's on the other foot.. ie when she catches you cheating, the best defense is a good offense. Blame her. "If you were more _________ I wouldn't have cheated." Most common response to cheating allegations. It's very effective, because nobody wants to feel like they have no control over their partner's behavior. The victim would rather blame himself than feel like he's not in control of what's happening to him. But in reality, you have no control over your partner's behavior.
This has inspired me to write a new topic.
Never blame yourself if/when your girl cheats. It's very tempting because it returns control to you, which makes you feel better than being out of control.
"If I'd only _______ then she wouldn't have cheated," is a common misconception. She cheated because she's a greedy slut (or whatever), not because of anything you did or didn't do. Keep that in mind.
And when the shoe's on the other foot.. ie when she catches you cheating, the best defense is a good offense. Blame her. "If you were more _________ I wouldn't have cheated." Most common response to cheating allegations. It's very effective, because nobody wants to feel like they have no control over their partner's behavior. The victim would rather blame himself than feel like he's not in control of what's happening to him. But in reality, you have no control over your partner's behavior.
This has inspired me to write a new topic.