article: ‘Cheap sex’ is making men give up on marriage

[MatureDJ]

http://nypost.com/2017/09/02/cheap-sex-is-making-men-give-up-on-marriage/

 

[Bible_Belt]

32% of women masturbate once a week. That's the factoid I took away from the article.

 

[logicallefty]

OP, can you give us a small summary of what this article is about? Then we can decide if it's worth the click and the read.

 

[MatureDJ]

OP, can you give us a small summary of what this article is about? Then we can decide if it's worth the click and the read.

Because women no longer choose to be chaste, men no longer have to marry women to get access to sex - and thus, because of the costs of marriage (including the cost of being "de-married"), men are no longer interested in getting married.

 

[skinnyguy]

Only 49% of men fap at least once per week? Coulda fooled me lol

Cheap sex is often better than sex with your wife. Think about that.

Yes, the cost of divorce is too high a risk to take. Guys aren't getting into LTRs because 90% OF WOMEN ARE TRASH. Myself included. If I found a quality woman who was single and liked me, I'd enter into a relationship with her in a heartbeat.

Forgive me if I don't want to hear a woman nagging at me when I come home from work every day. I like having sechs when I'm horny and I like going on dates when I feel like it. Having a woman yell at me to take out the trash sounds like a slow death.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

OP, can you give us a small summary of what this article is about? Then we can decide if it's worth the click and the read.

I read it earlier and thought about posting it, or rather an article about that article. The article I read was written by a pro-men's right woman.

The author of a new book entitled Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy

says cheap sex is making men give up on marriage. A New York Postarticle about the author states (via Newsalert) :



Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.


The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.

Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.

Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.



I haven't read the book but I looked at the Amazon "Look Inside" and read some of the introduction. It seems that the author makes some decent points, but he did not seem to think that men were opting out of marriage because it was a "bad deal" for them. Instead, Regnerus seems to imply that it is cheap sex that leads men to have the upper hand in relationships because men can get sex more readily than in the past and don't need to be successful and together to get a woman. This leads to men avoiding higher education and "success" because they do not have to impress women as often to get laid. That's my take on what the author is saying, anyway.

Fair enough, but I think enough men have seen what marriage does to the older guys in their family and friend circles to know that antiquated marriage laws (and new ones) put the responsibility of the actual marriage legally more on men. Perhaps the discrepancy between the easier ability to get sex and the actual increased duties and responsibilities of men in marriage now is so much greater than in the past that it makes marriage unappealing to many. Sure, a man can get sex more easily without being married -- but I wonder if women restricted sex more and porn was made illegal how many more men would marry. Maybe no more and maybe fewer.

Men are smart and technology is innovating. It is harder to control men now than it was in the past and many control freaks don't like that sort of thing. Men are doing more than going their own way: they are finding ways to maintain autonomy and freedom in a world of increasing restrictions on their sexuality and livelihoods. Sex may be "cheap," but marriage is not -- and until our society understands that men are not pawns to be used by women and politicians for their own purposes, men will continue to go their own way, whether researchers want to believe it or not.

 

[corrector]

This article is puzzling because while people think it's saying that men are giving up on marriage, what it is really saying is that men are giving up on being successful (i.e. having a good job, having their sh1t together, and therefore being QUALIFIED to be married and therefore have access to sex). It is like it's saying that there is no possible motivation to improve yourself, in terms of dressing better, get higher economic status, moving out of home, etc... because there is porn.

Think about that. Really? Re-read the article 2 or 3 times over if you didn't just get that.

Oh really, all the Universities and schools have no male enrollment anymore because of online porn? Men rather just fap to porn rather than do anything at all with their lives that will attract a woman. I strongly disagree with the premise this article has come up to draw that conclusion. It's more accurate to say that a woman can just change their minds or fall out of love on a whim, at anytime within a marriage and the man is legally responsible for all of the fall-out. That would sound more accurate.

Another issue is how can you equate fapping to online porn to real sex? You can't really call that cheap sex because going solo is not technically sex. How else can anyone just get it on demand? May say going with a prostitute? Anyone on here will think that counts as sex, let alone cheap sex? Yeah, thought not. Is sex really that easy for anyone to access? Why does this board exist if it were? Everyone would just be accessing their cheap sex and live happily ever after, right?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

One thing is true... pornography has become the opiate of the masses.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Regnerus argues that while women have maintained their role as sexual gatekeepers, men control the marriage market. And given the ease with which sex can be accessed, Regnerus believes that men’s motivations for marriage have all but disappeared. He surveyed 15,000 people and found that among unmarried respondents under 40, “for every 82 men who wished to be married, 100 women said the same.”

Yep, all it takes is for women to realize that promiscuity is not in their best interests.....

Is it in anyone's interest?

In the domain of sex and relationships, men will act as nobly as women collectively demand,” he writes

Oh boy, has feminism, with its clamor for sexual liberation, royally screwed women.

 

[ubercat]

Sexual liberation really? Try talking about your nice weekend with your plates in your workplace. C how that goes.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Sexual liberation really? Try talking about your nice weekend with your plates in your workplace. C how that goes.

No, because in this individualist's paradise there is to be a sharp distinction drawn between the public and private spheres.

 

[ubercat]

Not buying its just about individualism. Try again. Your g/f can flash her engagement ring at the office and people will talk about that for half an hour. Seen it many times.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's not sex... marriage is just a really bad deal for men. Men have all the responsibility and no authority... you basically allow a chick to drag you around my a nose ring and if you don't want to go along with that, then she gets to take half your sh!t and your kids... who you still have to pay for. Unless you have a lot on money to spend on lawyers and private investigators you will NOT get custody of your kids unless your ex is a complete wreak.

The family courts are HORRIBLE, where men just get raped. My ex had a diagnosed mental illness, from a family prone to suicide... When my kids were born, she curled up in a ball in our bed and hardly moved for TWO YEARS. I had to hire a nanny to care for the kids because I had to earn a living... during this time I got called back on active duty and sent to Afghanistan, and during that time she rode the c0ck carousel, while my mother took care of the twins. I spent a small fortune on psychologists and psychiatrists. I hemorrhaged my wealth trying to make her better and happy.

When I'd finally had enough, I spent the rest of my wealth to get divorced. I had a TON of evidence against her to get custody of my kids... including a situation where our nanny stopped her from drowning one of my kids in a bathtub (THIS IS FVCKING TRUE), the fact that she had been pregos TWICE after I'd had a vasectomy, suicide attempts... violence.... general dysfunction. The GODD@MN family court judge jumped through hoops to figure out a way to give custody of my children to my ex. You should have heard that FVCKING B!TCH of a judge, with her FVCKING condescending tone say how she 'really' wanted to give the kids to Cindy... then Cindy's lawyer... who BTW was paid for by the family courts, brought up one thing.... I was a Army reservist and might get deployed. That is all the B!TCH of a judge needed and she got custody. They just recently changed the law in our State that blocks a person's reserve status for being used for custody... not because it is the right thing to do, but because women were losing custody of their kids because THEY were deployed.

Well it didn't take long... 3 months after she had custody (including child support) her nut case brother went over to the house and started shooting up the place, eventually killing himself in the driveway. I went and got the kids and refused to give them back... Cindy promised not to challenge me as long as I keep making child support payments... which I do. So I pay her about $2000 a month for the right to keep my kids safe. I'm going back to court in a couple of months to reduce or eliminate this. I've been on the docket for 2 years because I can not demonstrate 'immediate need'. I make a really good living because I work hard, so I can afford this, but most men can't... they end up living in some cr@p one bedroom apt living hand to mouth while their kids are abused.. and there isn't a darn thing they can do about it.

If you are a young man do not get married. There is no reason to do this. Don't let anyone shame you into this scam... there is no reason for you to sacrifice your life and happiness so you can spend the short time on this planet being a useful tool for some chick.

Final story if you are not convinced. A good friend of mine died last month. I flew to Portland for his funeral. I had known him and his wife over 20 years when we first served as officers in the same battalion. He was a good family man, career Army office, sacrificed himself to his wife and children, very religious, died of brain cancer. He'd been in a virtual coma for months... his tattoo covered daughter married some drug addled college drop out. A couple of weeks before he died, his family propped him up for his daughter's wedding so he could 'give her away', it was pathetic... he was out of it... he didn't have any idea what was going on... he was nothing but a prop for his daughter... mercifully he died... and after his funeral his widow hit on me.

You just can not make this sh!t up.

Until society changes giving men respect and authority in relationships men should not agree to this BS.

Sorry for the rant... but men.. do not get married. If you are married, and you think you can not afford to get divorced... all I have to say is divorce is expensive because it is WORTH IT.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

It is like it's saying that there is no possible motivation to improve yourself, in terms of dressing better, get higher economic status, moving out of home, etc... because there is porn.

It's not that difficult of an idea to accept. Guys want to make money so they can get puzzy. Or they have a family and guys want to make money to support them.

Not because of porn, but make it easy for guys making minimum wage to get laid (even if it's with fatties) and they lose their motivation.

Going from NO puzzy to puzzy is enough to motivate a guy to conquer the world.

But going form so-so puzzy to better puzzy? not so much.

Also consider that the access to easy puzzy is in a political environment that promotes the idea that we are entitled to anything we want.

Combine THAT attitude of entitlement with easy puzzy and you've got a society that's not long for this world.

Compared to back in the day, when you had a combination of ZERO entitlement and women that didn't give away the vajayjay like candy to anybody with a pee pee, and you got a bunch of dudes really motivated to build stuff.

 

[MgtowAlmighty]

Marriage: How women ensure they get paid for sex. After all, women should get paid for sex, right? That explains why the vast majority of alimony, asset division and child support (alimony++) flows from men to women. A girl gotta get paid, bruh! Pretty funny when you really think about it, huh? "Cheap sex" the cause for marriage decline? Me thinks it's the reverse. Should there be like a minimum wage for sex with women? Men should pay women big $$$$$ for sex, right? No wonder we have the male-only draft and why women are first in the life boats. It's always all about male disposability and gynocentrism. It never ends. The po, po women, oppressed by the evil menz, ain't gett'n paid for access to the poody? Say it ain't so! No blatant hypocrisy, sexism nor double standards there, aye? If you want to get paid for sex, just become a sex worker. Stick a retail price tag, a credit card reader and one of those theft deterrent devices down there like they have in drug stores. Don't sugar coat it with words like 'marriage'. If you wanna get paid for it, just be honest about it. Don't exploit words. This is still a capitalist society, you know. Marriage is the original long con anyways. It was always about women gett'n paid, but I'm bett'n some of you are still figuring that out. Take your time. We'll wait...

Hitler: "The future is white!"
Hillary: "The future is female!"

It's like living in the Twilight Zone. Come on, bruhs. Marriage is about women gett'n paid? Of course it is! Men built every single substantial structure on Earth and fought all the wars for women's rights, not women. I'm think'n women should be pay'n men for sex, not the other way around, AmIRight? Of course I'm right. There's a reason why prostitution is the oldest profession. Duh!

Someone give me a Pavlovian cookie before I lose it. People's lack of critical thinking skills (you know who you are) are just so mesmerizing. It's like watching, "The Blind Leading the Blind". Now, where have I heard that before? Give me a sec to think. It was on the Internet somewhere.... Oh forget it. Can't remember.

Wanna know ****e for real? Ask a MGHOW. We specialize in reality, minus the idiotic illusions and enchantments poody worshipers cram down your throat. Help us help you. That's why we're here...to save you from socially programmed gynocratic ignorance & total life destruction. We're your friends. You need not fear the MGTOW.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I am over 45 and have never been married. I've been in plenty of LTRs including my most recent of 9 years (and she would have destroyed me in court had we been married when it ended. I was basically checked out in a sexless relationship. We were roommates not lovers. I could just tell by the anger in her eyes she would have blitzed me hard in court, but got nothing when we split because we never officially tied the knot, whew!), but never walked down the aisle. Main reason is what @RangerMike posted. F*uck, I feel horrible for that guy. I've just seen too many of my friends and clients (given the business I'm in) take an ass raping in court with "maintenance" (alimony) and child support. If you live in a very liberal area like I do, the man will really get hammered in court.

I see no cogent, viable reason to get married. None, zero.

 

[exhausted]

It's not sex... marriage is just a really bad deal for men. Men have all the responsibility and no authority... you basically allow a chick to drag you around my a nose ring and if you don't want to go along with that, then she gets to take half your sh!t and your kids... who you still have to pay for. Unless you have a lot on money to spend on lawyers and private investigators you will NOT get custody of your kids unless your ex is a complete wreak.

The family courts are HORRIBLE, where men just get raped. My ex had a diagnosed mental illness, from a family prone to suicide... When my kids were born, she curled up in a ball in our bed and hardly moved for TWO YEARS. I had to hire a nanny to care for the kids because I had to earn a living... during this time I got called back on active duty and sent to Afghanistan, and during that time she rode the c0ck carousel, while my mother took care of the twins. I spent a small fortune on psychologists and psychiatrists. I hemorrhaged my wealth trying to make her better and happy.

When I'd finally had enough, I spent the rest of my wealth to get divorced. I had a TON of evidence against her to get custody of my kids... including a situation where our nanny stopped her from drowning one of my kids in a bathtub (THIS IS FVCKING TRUE), the fact that she had been pregos TWICE after I'd had a vasectomy, suicide attempts... violence.... general dysfunction. The GODD@MN family court judge jumped through hoops to figure out a way to give custody of my children to my ex. You should have heard that FVCKING B!TCH of a judge, with her FVCKING condescending tone say how she 'really' wanted to give the kids to Cindy... then Cindy's lawyer... who BTW was paid for by the family courts, brought up one thing.... I was a Army reservist and might get deployed. That is all the B!TCH of a judge needed and she got custody. They just recently changed the law in our State that blocks a person's reserve status for being used for custody... not because it is the right thing to do, but because women were losing custody of their kids because THEY were deployed.

Well it didn't take long... 3 months after she had custody (including child support) her nut case brother went over to the house and started shooting up the place, eventually killing himself in the driveway. I went and got the kids and refused to give them back... Cindy promised not to challenge me as long as I keep making child support payments... which I do. So I pay her about $2000 a month for the right to keep my kids safe. I'm going back to court in a couple of months to reduce or eliminate this. I've been on the docket for 2 years because I can not demonstrate 'immediate need'. I make a really good living because I work hard, so I can afford this, but most men can't... they end up living in some cr@p one bedroom apt living hand to mouth while their kids are abused.. and there isn't a darn thing they can do about it.

If you are a young man do not get married. There is no reason to do this. Don't let anyone shame you into this scam... there is no reason for you to sacrifice your life and happiness so you can spend the short time on this planet being a useful tool for some chick.

Final story if you are not convinced. A good friend of mine died last month. I flew to Portland for his funeral. I had known him and his wife over 20 years when we first served as officers in the same battalion. He was a good family man, career Army office, sacrificed himself to his wife and children, very religious, died of brain cancer. He'd been in a virtual coma for months... his tattoo covered daughter married some drug addled college drop out. A couple of weeks before he died, his family propped him up for his daughter's wedding so he could 'give her away', it was pathetic... he was out of it... he didn't have any idea what was going on... he was nothing but a prop for his daughter... mercifully he died... and after his funeral his widow hit on me.

You just can not make this sh!t up.

Until society changes giving men respect and authority in relationships men should not agree to this BS.

Sorry for the rant... but men.. do not get married. If you are married, and you think you can not afford to get divorced... all I have to say is divorce is expensive because it is WORTH IT.

Good Lord man..
All of that is terrible.
I don't know if you are a christian or not but i feel compelled to send a few prayers your way.