"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Arguing with the experts some more

reveazure

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So, I read a lot of the stuff in the DJ bible, and while it does have some great material, I just can't help but think sometimes that this just isn't me. Like, the stuff about being a man, I can't stand having to make all the decisions for someone. If I'm ever in a relationship I want it to be with someone who can make some decisions for herself, and I want things to be more or less equal. Is that an unrealistic goal?

This is sort of spurred by Interceptor's post in another thread regarding femininity and masculinity complementing each other - I don't really go for the super-feminine chicks. I don't want that crying, giggling bull****.

I guess my question is just, does anybody here know what I'm talking about?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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backbreaker

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So, I read a lot of the stuff in the DJ bible, and while it does have some great material, I just can't help but think sometimes that this just isn't me. Like, the stuff about being a man, I can't stand having to make all the decisions for someone. If I'm ever in a relationship I want it to be with someone who can make some decisions for herself, and I want things to be more or less equal. Is that an unrealistic goal?
Evolution has a way of weeding the strong from the weak.. I mean.. maybe you just aren't meant to get ass. hey, you wouldn't be the first and defiantly not the last.

If you can't see what's going on around you and adapt, you aren't a man and you don't deserve anything
 

Obsidian

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Yes, we know all about what you're saying. It's a symptom of recurring chumpishness. You don't feel like a real man yet because you aren't one. You're still living your life like a woman. The reason you came to this site, however, is because you are unhappy in that state. The only way you'll ever be happy is to embrace what you really are.

You don't go for feminine chicks, but you want one who is "strong and independent" (like a man) and who can "think for herself" (like a man), who doesn't take orders from anyone (men don't take orders) -- am I right? Stop thinking like a woman, and stop pursuing masculine women!

Have you read the Book of Pook? He helps explain how your current androgeny is so hideous.
 

Obsidian

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Btw, women don't want equality. Have you ever noticed that girls date older guys, guys with more money than them, guys who know how to lead? Women marry upward.

I want things to be more or less equal. Is that an unrealistic goal?
quite unrealistic
 

reset

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Just keep at it, and if you really want this, eventually reality will become more clear to you.

Being an AFC is very much like being a woman, like Obsidian mentioned.

My advice is forget about what type of girl you want for the time being, because you don't know what type of GUY you want to be yet.

There's nothing wrong with being a man. Deep down there's a strong guy in there, your job is to bring him to the surface.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Jay Jay

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I know what you are saying.

Feminine however does not mean weak as many dudes here seem to suggest.

And relationships with little princesses who don't challenge you become boring.

I know women who do **** that would make most of the "real men" on this site **** themselves and they lose nothing of their femininity.

JJ
 

reveazure

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Evolution has a way of weeding the strong from the weak.. I mean.. maybe you just aren't meant to get ass. hey, you wouldn't be the first and defiantly not the last.

If you can't see what's going on around you and adapt, you aren't a man and you don't deserve anything.
Ah, social darwinism. Makes people sound real strong.

Look, I view sex as validation and I feel like **** because I don't get it from the people I want. I see that as my core problem. Looks like it's your core problem too. If any of us were interested in evolutionary fitness we'd all be married with ten kids at age 25 . . . the women, too. But we all want to chase our dream, and that means reading Pook's posts (for the men) and sleeping with Pook (for the women).

I have no intention of buying into your idea of what it means to be strong, I want you to tell me how to be who I am and get what I want -- isn't that what Pook's posts are all about?
 

Obsidian

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no, Pook's posts are all about the evils of misplaced gender roles. As I said, you're acting like a woman when you are really a male. Therefore you will never be truly happy.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Just because you read something which is referenced as the Bible, it doesn't mean that it's an instruction manual; it's best used as a source of reference.
 

reveazure

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OK, well, I read the oldest few pages worth of Pook's posts (I'm nothing if not systematic) and while his oldest stuff is great, I got bored when he seemed to descend into insanity around page 13. Did he ever reveal the black truth about women that he discovered? I can't imagine it's anything that isn't already common knowledge . . . there isn't much new to be said about human nature.

Anyway, reading it made me think, well I am kind of like this. For me, doing great things in life is my first priority. But first of all, I'm kind of stuck. And second, doing great things is sort of the opposite of hanging around and meeting girls. Like, if I want to build something really cool that I can sell to people, that's something I'm gonna be doing in my room, and not meeting anybody.

I have been trying to think of more social activities that I could do, but everything that comes to mind is pretty solitary, like learning guitar, reading, or even working out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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reset

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Guitar class at a community college

reading for free at Barnes & Noble/book clubs where people discuss what they've read

the Gym which is full of women (something I'm working towards).
 

Obsidian

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reveazure, Pook's wisdom is great for developing your inner game (and countering the foolish tendencies you mentioned in your first post)

If you still don't have any actual experience with girls, tho, he addresses that issue also. You need to get out there and start approaching. That's an area of your life you've obviously underdeveloped. Read a few tips, then go out and start experimenting until it becomes second nature. That said, you're right in working out, reading, going to the gym, or doing other great things in the privacy of your home.

Definitely don't let girls become your life. In general, women profit off men far more than vice versa. Women marry men who get jobs and bring home pay checks. Women pressure men to buy expensive houses that they have to keep slaving away to pay off the debt on. The woman often stays at home doing low-pressure housework, possibly cooking dinner (which takes maybe an hour!). She stays home to raise her kids, which is technically work -- but not very intensive work. She often bosses her chumpish husband around. Then when the guy gets to be 40ish/50ish, she'll frequently get bored and divorce him, taking away half the money he's been slaving away for all this time. Often she gets more access to the kids.

Especially if you're taking the time to improve yourself in the ways you mentioned, you are the prize. You have to be the one to qualify the woman -- or else you'll end up getting hosed like the majority of husbands in America.


The ordinary evolution progresses as follows:

Nice Guy ---> Player ---> Real Man

Don't get hung up on step 2, but don't neglect it entirely either.
 
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