Argh, another effed up situation.

[LinkinParkROX]

Here goes: I managed to piss off an ff of mine. She's not exactly just an ff, more of a best ff. Back from my WBAFC days, I used to be her tampon, I was always there, and whenever we'd fight, I'd go crawling back, apologizing like a retard, and saying it was all my fault, I'll never do it again, and all that hoohaa. As I've slowly become a DJ, I've been getting the whole attitude, confidence, and mindset down. Now because of this change, she says I'm different. Duh. She doesn't know about it obviously, but it must happen.

Anyway, I didn't really do anything. I probably didn't listen with enough "care" or something when she spoke on the phone. She ended up hanging up on me, and hasn't called me since; keeping messages like "I don't care about you anymore. " "You're not the same. " and stuff on MySpace and AIM. She's also completely deleted me off MySpace, AIM and Facebook, and trash talked about me to one of my best friends. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with this girl, but it's gone too far.

At the same time, I don't really feel like burning the bridge, because she's a good friend. The above was the first strike. I reckon I should stick to the two strike rule and call her again, and try to fix things? Or just burn the bridge through and through? I'm kind of at a crossroads. Probably between my DJ side and my AFC side. I feel like I should call her and try to fix things, and at the same time feel like she's fucked too much with me and I should just burn the bridge altogether. Help?

 

[doctorj]

just do what a DJ would do and let her be the one to contact you

 

[scrouds]

First off, the way I see it the bridge is already on fire and she's got a flamethrower.

If she wants to put down the flamethrower and grab a water hose, be a gentleman and say hi.

Otherwise just ignore and let her burn it down.

 

[Warrior74]

EGO! she's trying to bait you into being your old weak self that she had control over. She has no more control over you. She wants you back in her orbit.

Imagine if some stranger said those words to you. "I don't care about you anymore. " "You're not the same. " Would you give a flying fck? Of course not. Those words are to provoke you into symping out (supplicating) to her. They are a challenge to you. She's taking shots in the dark looking to hit a nerve and make you contact her. You have a choice, continue the path of growth or step back into the darkness. Let her contact you, put up with no BS when she does. If she doesn't get the hint...move forward and cut her loose completely.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

Thanks brothers. I just heard from my friend she's been trash talking about me to (her new tampon, my best friend), that she thinks it annoys me when she calls. It doesn't in all honesty, in fact it cheers me up; but I have given off vibes like that sometimes when I was busy. What now?

 

[Warrior74]

What now?

Get busy living! Hit that gym, work on your career or education, have fun with your hobbies/interest/friends, AND GO MEET NEW WOMEN! Go forth and don't multiply until your ready!

If she's in your social circle, be polite when you see her, keep it short and to the point. Be firm when she tries to keep moving the convo forward to old things and cut it off, make a nice excuse and walk away. Kill her with kindness as they say. As for your friend, you do realize he's a symp (afc). So you will have to tailor what you tell him about your life for a while...just keep him out of your love life so he won't run back and tell it like a lil biitch. Ask him man to man not to talk to you about her...but not the first time he mentions her (he'll run tell it and she'll think she's getting to you) but maybe the third or fourth. If he can't be man/friend enough to respect you and respect that. Cut him loose too. He deserves it as he's not a man but a biitch in a man's body.

 

[omega05]

Here goes: I managed to piss off an ff of mine. She's not exactly just an ff, more of a best ff. Back from my WBAFC days, I used to be her tampon, I was always there, and whenever we'd fight, I'd go crawling back, apologizing like a retard, and saying it was all my fault, I'll never do it again, and all that hoohaa. As I've slowly become a DJ, I've been getting the whole attitude, confidence, and mindset down. Now because of this change, she says I'm different. Duh. She doesn't know about it obviously, but it must happen.

Anyway, I didn't really do anything. I probably didn't listen with enough "care" or something when she spoke on the phone. She ended up hanging up on me, and hasn't called me since; keeping messages like "I don't care about you anymore. " "You're not the same. " and stuff on MySpace and AIM. She's also completely deleted me off MySpace, AIM and Facebook, and trash talked about me to one of my best friends. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with this girl, but it's gone too far.

At the same time, I don't really feel like burning the bridge, because she's a good friend. The above was the first strike. I reckon I should stick to the two strike rule and call her again, and try to fix things? Or just burn the bridge through and through? I'm kind of at a crossroads. Probably between my DJ side and my AFC side. I feel like I should call her and try to fix things, and at the same time feel like she's fucked too much with me and I should just burn the bridge altogether. Help?

this stuff is like the same situation i posed a couple days back and you told me to keep it moving and be the man in the situation. now you're here asking for help. something aint right...

 

[Warrior74]

this stuff is like the same situation i posed a couple days back and you told me to keep it moving and be the man in the situation. now you're here asking for help. something aint right...

It's easy to give advice. It's easy to see things from perspective, and of course hindsight is 20/20. But when you in it..it's very easy to forget what you know and to react in the moment on your base instinct and go AFC if it's in you.

That being said...maybe you have a point about something not being right eh?

 

[Stblack]

this stuff is like the same situation i posed a couple days back and you told me to keep it moving and be the man in the situation. now you're here asking for help. something aint right...

Isn't this how most of the people on the forum act?


I think people should listen to this quote...

"The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others."
~Author Unknown

 

[Kal0051]

in life you'll lose friends, it happens. I almost lost a close female friend after stuff happened between us at a club, but we eventually started talking to each other (we're not as close as before but whatever). In your case it seems she only wanted to be your friend because you were that "emotional tampon", and since you don't want to serve that function she doesn't want/need you in her life.

 

[Kal0051]

Isn't this how most of the people on the forum act?


I think people should listen to this quote...

"The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others."
~Author Unknown

yeah but sometimes it's hard to follow that advice. In the OP's case, I assume this female friend meant something to him, and losing her isn't what he whats to do. That was the case with me and my friend that I posted an example above about, but as time went on I worried less and less about it (now I don't really care, if we see each other than great).

 

[Igetit!]

Well,the thing that threw me off about the OP's post was that he called her his "ff",to which I assume means "female friend". Ok,that's cool.
Nothing wrong with having female friends..

Then he called her his "best" ff. So his best friend is a girl.

O...kay.


Then he mentioned something about sticking to the two strikes rule.
Now correct me if I'm wrong,but isn't the two strikes rule meant to be used with women you're trying to date/have an interest in?

I assume he was referring to this thread by f283000. I've read this thread,even posted in it. The whole point of it is to prevent/reduce flaking in women who YOU HAVE A INTEREST IN.

Why he's trying to use it on a ff...I don't know.

 

[MSwrestler]

She is a good friend? I do not think so otherwise she wouldn't be acting like she did ex: deleting ****, talking **** etc.. She used you as an emotional outlet and once you weren't having it she treated you like complete ****, is that a good friend? I do no think so.

 

[Kal0051]

She is a good friend? I do not think so otherwise she wouldn't be acting like she did ex: deleting ****, talking **** etc.. She used you as an emotional outlet and once you weren't having it she treated you like complete ****, is that a good friend? I do no think so.

I agree with this guy. I know you don't see it right now (since you probably like her as more than a friend) but she was never your friend, she just used you. But don't worry too much, just live your life and ignore this girl. Good luck.

 

[Dannyrt34]

I find it a little hard to believe that she reacted to that extreme just because you say you 'weren't listening with enough care'.

That really don't make much sense to me. I'd say she's overreacting. Although if she's only a friend and your goal is to keep it that way with her, why are you trying to DJ her?

There should be no harm in calling her to makeup, if you feel like her reasons are legit. These are things you do for friends!

If this was a girl you have interest in, then I wouldn't think you should put up with that.

 

[omega05]

I find it a little hard to believe that she reacted to that extreme just because you say you 'weren't listening with enough care'.

That really don't make much sense to me. I'd say she's overreacting. Although if she's only a friend and your goal is to keep it that way with her, why are you trying to DJ her?

There should be no harm in calling her to makeup, if you feel like her reasons are legit. These are things you do for friends!

If this was a girl you have interest in, then I wouldn't think you should put up with that.

why not use this site to help with getting a female friend back too though as opposed to girls you are are looking for more than friendship?

 

[horaholic]

why not use this site to help with getting a female friend back too though as opposed to girls you are are looking for more than friendship?

Because we dont use it to try to win our guy friends back either. Thats cuz we dont really care. If you're pining over a lost female friend, then you obviously have oneitis, and should stay the hell away from her anyway. That would be bytch behaviour; kind of like seriously listening to Linkin Park.:crackup:

 

[Dannyrt34]

why not use this site to help with getting a female friend back too though as opposed to girls you are are looking for more than friendship?

Because I believe friends are more important. Didn't anybody ever tell you "Girl's come and go, but friends are forever." or "Bros before hos."?

I believe this is the case rather your friend is female or male. Your friends are there for you to spill your guts to. To come to with problems and all that. If a friend flakes on you, you work it out with them usually. I doubt many of us really would give our best friends the '2 strike rule'. You catch what I'm trying to say?

Yea becoming a DJ is a change in lifestyle. But friends are there for you to keep things real with.

Still though. Judging by your first post, it still looks like she's overreacting. Do what you would do if it was any 'friend' and find out what the problem is so you can work it out.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

The thing is, I've read a lot on being a man, putting your foot down, and sticking up for what you believe in here on SoSuave. And frankly, she's wrong. I did absolutely nothing. I have grown a smug, ****y DJ attitude which she can't put up with. But besides that, absolutely nothing wrong. She says "You should realize your mistake. ".

She actually expects me to go apologize. Which is extremely fucked up. I agree with you guys that she's just a friend and I shouldn't DJ her, I'm not. Your advice actually helped. I'll handle this like I would handle any situation with a guy friend, friends are friends. That being said, I'll probably call her and ask what the fuck her problem is, and sort shit out. I'm not apologizing, just sorting out. Just like I'd do with any other friend. Good Idea? Bad Idea?

The thing is, we used to see a lot of each other. I know it shouldn't matter, because I have a busy life and tons of other friends to deal with, but <AFC>she was a huge part of it</AFC>. Plus, she's leaving town for the summer, and will be away for two months. I don't want her to leave with a bitter taste in her mouth.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

I need advice/replies quick, I don't have much time. Bump.