Are you suppose to contact the girl the day after sex

[Ringleader41]

I wasnt planning on it since she wasnt attractive but Im getting horny and its been like 3 days since .

 

[SgtSplacker]

I usually do make a point of calling her right after just to diffuse any thought of me just dissing her like that. Then i'll fall back to my usually rather distant game.

 

[Aristippus]

You should ALWAYS call a woman the next day unless she was some random one-night stand that you're never going to see again. Otherwise, women can be insecure about their sexual prowess/performance and attractiveness. When you call the day after, it's one way of letting her know you had a good time with her. It also makes her feel good about the interaction. It completes it and doesn't make her feel like you were simply using her.

For some reason, even if her only interest is to have crazy sex with you, women still feel used if you don't bother to call. Basically, to sum up, even with women who are nothing more than your personal sex toys, if you don't call, she will feel used and unattractive and like she didn't do it for you in the bedroom. If she had any insecurities about her body, she might feel like you didn't like something about her body. Unfortunately, you already haven't called and it's been 3 days.

I've never NOT called the day after if I was planning on seeing a woman again, so I can't tell you from experience what will happen but since you didn't call the day after, I have a feeling you'll have a difficult time getting her to respond to you or getting her in the bedroom again. Give it a try and let us know what happens, good or bad. It will help the other guys on here learn.

 

[Ringleader41]

But shes not that attractive and I dont wsnt her to cling

 

[Mike32ct]

Aristuppus is spot on.

 

[Ringleader41]

I thought it was an ons

 

[SgtSplacker]

You have to learn to manage women, just because she gets all clingy doesn't mean you have to be at her house holding her jacket all day. You can never give any women everything they want, specially not this one. I'd call her and start pacing your relationship. She will get used to how often you call her and she will either deal with it or decide not to and stop returning your calls. Either way you gain some invaluable experience dealing with her and you may be able to keep hitting it for a while. Just be tactfully honest in your intentions and see if she bites...

Guys (particularly on this site) are too quick to NC or cut off girls completely. I prefer just scaling back my time and financial investment but keeping as many girls as I can around me. Things can get a little hairy sometimes, but these are skills you have to be able to use all the time. Female management is a life long responsibility, start getting used to it.

 

[st_99]

I've had mixed results. Girls that I liked and i called the next day decided to LJBF me and then girls that I didn't care much about, did not call them and they chased me and wanted me.

So, your guess is as good as mine.

 

[pete101]

You should ALWAYS call a woman the next day unless she was some random one-night stand that you're never going to see again. Otherwise, women can be insecure about their sexual prowess/performance and attractiveness. When you call the day after, it's one way of letting her know you had a good time with her. It also makes her feel good about the interaction. It completes it and doesn't make her feel like you were simply using her.

For some reason, even if her only interest is to have crazy sex with you, women still feel used if you don't bother to call. Basically, to sum up, even with women who are nothing more than your personal sex toys, if you don't call, she will feel used and unattractive and like she didn't do it for you in the bedroom. If she had any insecurities about her body, she might feel like you didn't like something about her body. Unfortunately, you already haven't called and it's been 3 days.

I've never NOT called the day after if I was planning on seeing a woman again, so I can't tell you from experience what will happen but since you didn't call the day after, I have a feeling you'll have a difficult time getting her to respond to you or getting her in the bedroom again. Give it a try and let us know what happens, good or bad. It will help the other guys on here learn.

what kind of conversation should you have with her the day after? as in how long what should you just say?

the mistake i made was i may sound too keen or desperate or trying to have it again that day or wanting something more than just sex.

 

[Aristippus]

I've had mixed results. Girls that I liked and i called the next day decided to LJBF me and then girls that I didn't care much about, did not call them and they chased me and wanted me.

So, your guess is as good as mine.

I've found that if you know how to f*ck a woman well, you can do anything short of being an axe-murderer and she will still want you. You can have great character or terrible character, it doesn't matter. I hate to say that because I'm a firm believer in self-improvement and do believe it can make you a better and more attractive person.

Anyway, just out of curiosity, did you find that the better you were in the bedroom, the more the women you slept with would chase you? I'm asking because it seems like when you make a woman feel good in the bedroom, she doesn't usually want to let a man go that can make her feel the way she wants. You can keep her around as little or as long as you want to.

Maybe your experience has been what kept them coming back and your lack of (when you were younger) is what made them run. It could also be your attitude. Trying to win their approval versus just treating them normal and not scaring them away with obsessive behavior. If that's the case, I bet experience (and age) played a part in this. And I bet you probably had more issues with the women not responding when you were younger. But now, I bet it happens a lot less. It's the difference between being average and exceptional.

p.s. I'm saying that basically, if a man is like every other man either in attitude or in the bedroom or both, there's nothing that makes him any different than any other man out there. So she might not feel as strong of a desire. But if you're either different or exceptional in one or both areas, she will have a hard time finding someone that can fill your shoes and will hold on for dear life.

 

[Ringleader41]

Last question, how do you know if she enjoyed it. I told her i was a virgin too

 

[Aristippus]

what kind of conversation should you have with her the day after? as in how long what should you just say?

the mistake i made was i may sound too keen or desperate or trying to have it again that day or wanting something more than just sex.

How long? It really doesn't have to be a long conversation. It doesn't have to be a speech. You don't have to (and shouldn't) profess your undying love or anything like that. A short conversation is better. You simply call her up and tell her that you really enjoyed last night.

If you want to see a woman again, the morning after the first night you have sex, you can get breakfast together. Either cook a simple breakfast or go out and grab something. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just something from a fast food place. The morning after, when you're walking to the car together or spending time with her, hold her hand or when walking together, let her hold onto your arm.

Do this even if you have no interest in dating but simply want to meet up occasionally for sex. She'll enjoy the physical contact and it will make the experience feel more complete. She won't feel like some hooker that you simply had sex with and are now repulsed by.

The tone of the conversation.....Calling the day after

After parting in the morning, you call in the evening. The tone in your conversation would be the same as if you'd just finished having sex. Not overly excited. Just relaxed..... Here's an example of how a conversation like this might go.

Pete: Hey, just wanted to call to say hi. How was your day?
Her: It was good. I had a short day at work today.
Pete: I was off today so I just relaxed a bit.... You know, I really had a good time last night.
Her: Thank you. I had a wonderful time. Oh my god! I really enjoyed your body last night.
Pete: Me too. You made me feel really good. Mmmmmm. I'd better not get started right now. I don't want to start what I can't finish right now. Anyway, I just wanted to call to make sure you made it home safe.
Her: Thank you so much. I'm glad you called me. I had so much fun last night.
Pete: I'm glad you did. So did I. Ok. I have to go but we'll talk later. Enjoy your day.
Her: You too, sexy. Bye!

So you get the idea. Simple. You both talk about how you enjoyed each other. You use sexuality with a little bit of romance vs. talking about relationships. Think of it like Don Juan DeMarco talking versus talking like you just spent this week reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".

 

[Aristippus]

Last question, how do you know if she enjoyed it. I told her i was a virgin too

A woman can lie with her lips but her body never lies. If she was extremely wet, then there's no doubt that she enjoyed it.... So you were both virgins. Ok. Call her if you haven't already. Better to call late than to never call. Especially if she lost her virginity to you.

Just tell her you'd like to see her again. Let the sex come as a natural result of you both just enjoying being with each other. Once you start holding hands and then start kissing and making out, it can easily go from there to sex. No need to talk about it. Just let your bodies do the talking.

 

[Ringleader41]

A woman can lie with her lips but her body never lies. If she was extremely wet, then there's no doubt that she enjoyed it.... So you were both virgins. Ok. Call her if you haven't already. Better to call late than to never call. Especially if she lost her virginity to you.

Just tell her you'd like to see her again. Let the sex come as a natural result of you both just enjoying being with each other. Once you start holding hands and then start kissing and making out, it can easily go from there to sex. No need to talk about it. Just let your bodies do the talking.

Dear no, I was a virgin and she was a sloot that attacked me and I was scared of baby names so i told her I was one. Also she was really slippery and she said she wouldve never guessed i was a virgin.

 

[Aristippus]

Ok. She wanted to corrupt you. hahaha Good. Sometimes you'll find an experienced woman who wants to corrupt a virgin. Anyway, just call her up to get together some time. Don't mention sex. Just get together for a drink or invite her to your place to watch a movie. Tell her you had fun the other night.

Play the innocent card though. hahaha It worked for you so far. Just spend time alone with her and let her attack you. Let her get off on "corrupting" you..... I know, I'm a sly devil.

 

[Ringleader41]

Ok. She wanted to corrupt you. hahaha Good. Sometimes you'll find an experienced woman who wants to corrupt a virgin. Anyway, just call her up to get together some time. Don't mention sex. Just get together for a drink or invite her to your place to watch a movie. Tell her you had fun the other night.

Play the innocent card though. hahaha It worked for you so far. Just spend time alone with her and let her attack you. Let her get off on "corrupting" you..... I know, I'm a sly devil.

I told her I was a virgin afterwards

 

[sarcastic sam]

Are you suppose to contact the girl the day after sex

Of course you are. And don't forget to send flowers to her at her at her work and call her every 15 minutes leaving messages about how much she means to you and that you can't wait to see her again.

Works every time.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

First, this:

Of course you are. And don't forget to send flowers to her at her at her work and call her every 15 minutes leaving messages about how much she means to you and that you can't wait to see her again. Works every time.

Hilarious quote, I wholeheartedly agree with the sarcastic undertone. However, I don't agree with this:

You should ALWAYS call a woman the next day unless she was some random one-night stand that you're never going to see again. Otherwise, women can be insecure about their sexual prowess/performance and attractiveness.

This is why so many guys here are FAILING with women. They don't want to do anything that may make her emotional state go up and down like a roller coaster, yet that's what they NEED to be doing in order to make women fall for them.

Y'know why bad boys and jerks have so many women chasing them? A big part of it is just that - THEY are not the ones constantly hounding women, so they end up having the WOMEN chase after THEM. And they do it by keeping a woman in a constant state of not knowing where she stands with them.

You didn't call the girl back for 3 days? Guess what - you've now got her in the PERFECT emotional state. She probably spent 3 days wondering if you like her, talking about you to her girlfriends about when or if you were going to call, and having her brain volley back and forth between "He hasn't called me, so he must not like me" and "he does like me, he's just busy." Either way, it's driving her crazy, but keeping you on her mind.

Now, what would happen if you call the next day? Chances are, she would have known she had your interest, no longer viewed you as a challenge, and started getting flaky on you. (Note: As usual, someone's gonna read this and say "I never have a problem when I call a girl the next day." Congrats, you're the exception - however, based on my experience and the majority of posts I've read on this board, what I've stated tends to happen more often.)

Also:

When you call the day after, it's one way of letting her know you had a good time with her. It also makes her feel good about the interaction. It completes it and doesn't make her feel like you were simply using her.

Incorrect. The way you let her know you had a good time on "sex" day is when you call her up 3 to 4 days later and ask for another date or invite to hang out. She'll be so relieved you called, you're more apt to get a "yes" from her than if you had called the next day.

As for how she felt about the interaction, it's your job to make sure she's having a good time while you're there, that's it. Whether she ends up feeling used, like a sex toy, etc. is on her, not YOU. Let her play her own head games with herself, it's only going to help you in the long run. Women play off men's insecurities all the time; if you find she has some, use them to your advantage in a POSITIVE way.

What you don't want to do is try and re-assure her that you see her as more than a sex object. The more you try to do this, the more she's going to feel the opposite - that she IS a sex object. Even if she is, there's no need to make her feel this way by verbally convincing her she's not.

For some reason, even if her only interest is to have crazy sex with you, women still feel used if you don't bother to call...

But you are going to call - just not the day immediately after sex. Again, give her those days to think about you, which will only build up interest, and THEN call her. Let her think you're busy - girls like guys who seem to have a life outside of them, while at the same time make them wait to hear from him again.

...if you don't call, she will feel used and unattractive and like she didn't do it for you in the bedroom. If she had any insecurities about her body, she might feel like you didn't like something about her body.

Again, her insecurity is not YOUR problem. It's HER problem. And, more often times than not, her "problem" is only going to make her try even harder to get you. By not calling right away, she'll think she has competition, which will make her do all she can to "win" you.

In short: you're in the winning position at the moment. It's been 3 days - personally, I'd wait one more day before calling her. Then, when you call, don't mention anything about the last time you got together, or that you're sorry for not calling, etc. - just call, say "hey, what's up" and set up another meet and greet. Simple stuff, maaaaaan!

 

[Aristippus]

sarcastic sam said:
"Of course you are. And don't forget to send flowers to her at her at her work and call her every 15 minutes leaving messages about how much she means to you and that you can't wait to see her again."

*** He was being sarcastic. I still stand by what I said about calling her the day after sex. No, you don't send her flowers or call her every 15 minutes. One call and a short conversation is it. 5 mins or less is fine.


Harry Wilmington said:
"This is why so many guys here are FAILING with women. They don't want to do anything that may make her emotional state go up and down like a roller coaster, yet that's what they NEED to be doing in order to make women fall for them."

*** While it's true that many men are failing because they don't want to do anything to make her emotional state go up and down, there are about a million and one ways to do that without thinking you have to play these catty little feminine games. You make her come, you're going to affect her emotions. You show her a good time, you'll affect her emotions. You refuse to put up with her b.s. and be the man you want to be and do what you want, you'll affect her emotions.

While a lot of the time I agree with Harry, this time I have to respectfully disagree with him.


Harry Wilmington said:
"Y'know why bad boys and jerks have so many women chasing them? A big part of it is just that - THEY are not the ones constantly hounding women, so they end up having the WOMEN chase after THEM."


*** While some bad boys and jerks have women chasing them, I've seen a lot that don't have women chasing them. It's a myth, and a common one, that women love bad boys simply for being bad boys. There are bad boys that suck with women too. And there are bad boys that chase women around instead of letting the women chase them. There are friendly guys that are good with women and friendly guys that are terrible with women. Same applies to the bad boy.....(Example: Just because a drug dealer can have a girl suck his d*** for coke doesn't make him good with women. A woman who would do that is of low quality, even if she has an attractive physical exterior <and lots of times those looks are extremely short-lived because of the addiction>. These type of women are usually obnoxious, they steal, and have very little going for them. She'd do sexual favors for ANYONE who was willing to give her free drugs in exchange <and probably does, as these kinds of women aren't well-known for their loyalty>)

The only thing that matters is whether or not you hide your sexuality. The bad boy might fare better than the whimpy, overly-accomodating guy for one reason. He doesn't try to hide his sexuality and he will be himself more because he just doesn't care. Sexuality and moving forward with a woman are the keys to getting them, not whether or not you have an attitude problem and a chip on your shoulder.


Harry Wilmington said:
"Again, her insecurity is not YOUR problem. It's HER problem. And, more often times than not, her "problem" is only going to make her try even harder to get you."

*** You're right. Her insecurity is NOT your problem. You are NOT her therapist. The truth is, women can get discouraged and it's ok to take her feelings into consideration SOMETIMES. Note, I didn't say to bend over backwards to please her. But you can be reassuring as long as you don't overdo it. And I think throwing in a little bit of romance ,without the expensive dinners and showering her with flowers all of the time, is fine. You can love them, have them begging for more, add a little romance like you would a spice, and still maintain your dignity as a man, and still refuse to cater to her if and when she chooses to make demands or be unreasonable.

You don't have to rely on trying to push her insecurity buttons in order to make her want you more. Be the man you want to be. Either she likes it or she doesn't. You make her feel good in the bedroom. You treat her good but refuse to accept any disrespect from her, and simply have fun together and she will be ADDICTED to you. No need for tricks or playing head games. Head games are FEMALE territory. I'm not interested in a male version of "The Rules". You either like me or you don't. If you don't, I'm more than willing to walk away. That's all you need. At the same time, you don't have to be so hardcore all of the time. Sometimes you have to reassure women because women, most of them, by nature, are very insecure.

 

[dudewut]

Whether or not you wanna see her again, you MUST text her something like "I had fun last night" or something. And then you save her reply.

Roissy says to don't do so until she texts u first. However, an acquaintance of mine got his social life destroyed because some cray chick cried "rape" because she felt guilty afterwards.....it only takes one of those to destroy you.