Are you my friend or arent you?

[ssj245]

Im kind of confused about certain aspect of friendship or rather about some of the people that I know.

I am confused about some of the people that I know whom I consider as friends but I dont know whether or not they consider me thier friends.

Im having a hard time telling whether or not the same feelings of friendship are there or not.

We are talking about guys here, no girls.

The first person I am talking about, I have known for about 4 months now, and is in my class in college. While in class we joke and horse around and seem to have a good laugh and enjoy each others company. I have called a few times and said lets go to the city or hang out somewhere. In class the response is always yes that would be awsome, but on the weekend when I have called him, he always says he is tired or that its too late. Ive asked about three or four times and I havent heard any counter proposals to hang out. So now Im kind of thinking of not persuing a friendship with him anymore, in class, not trying to talk to him or make any conversation. im just confused. maybe I shouldnt worry or let this affect my self esteem, but it is.

Then my second friend I have known for years but he never calls, I havent spoken to him for a month to see if he call back but he doesnt.

 

[ssj245]

anyone

anyone?

 

[Dogfish]

It seems that I have similar problems.
I have friends ("friends") and it seems that I really care about them.
I value friendship a lot more than those people do.

Examples are that I just break the contact w/ one of them and wait if they call/ write, which usually never happens. When I give in and call them, they are good friends and throw out a short excuse.

The problem is that I enjoy being with those people, I haven't found out yet how to deal with the absence of their attention towards me.

 

[ssj245]

What r u supposed to do.

What is a guy supposed to do, other than sit home and not call out of pride or call and see if they want to hang out and it all depends on them.

 

[DJDamage]

Don't be depended on your friends to have a good time.

I suggest that if you want to go somewhere just go there regardless if your friends decides to join you or not. Have the mindset that you are going to go out to this location and if your 'friends' don't want to join you, it shouldn't change your plans.

As for your classmate, at this point he is just an aquientence of yours. I think in life you don't really make friends (its just a title) but you make contacts. Some are stronger then others and some are not strong at all. Most of the people in our life are not real friends because they don't really care about our well beings but only enjoy hanging around us. Real friends are harder to get and are very few, and you should count your blessings if you at least have 1 or 2 good ones as oppose to 5 or more aquientences. Those are the kind of friends that you would think of them as like brothers as part of your family that will watch your back and you watch theirs and are much more then just hanging out.

DJD