Are you looking for diamonds in a trash can?

[byers90]

I thought the opening was a great post. No one is saying high quality girls don't go to clubs or even *gasp* have sex....do some of you guys not realize Epicurus thinks the same? I feel some of you guys are too literal and can't think critically think at times...like everything has to be literally spelled out, footnotes included. Read between the lines, he is not saying if girl happens to go to a nightclub even one time she is trash and to be avoided. Now if the said woman just wants to club, and that's all she has going in her life, yes, that is not someone to take seriously. His point was to go after women that aren't totally shallow and instead find women that have lots going for them. Party skank vs a girl who is into arts - chances are the artsy one will be more interesting and have lots to talk about once you get past looks. Is it definite? No, but this is why you have to talk to people. Find out. And branch out for ****s sake. You can meet women anywhere, there are lots of social activities going on at all times.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Well I mean say I’m outside of Jared’s or something, I think my chances go up a ton.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

i dont disagree with your post.

im just saying that they need to be careful about seeking utopia. it doesnt exist. only good relationships and bad ones

the girl with the nerd glasses that makes her look cute and girly at barnes n noble reading "a song of ice and fire" could potentially be the same girl that had her first ONS the weekend before with a guy she met during her night out.

how are they to know?

Yes, idealizations, generalizations, fantasizations, and lobotomizations should all be avoided. All we can talk about is probabilities and likelihoods. It is more likely that the woman you meet in a noisy bar is more screwed up than the one you meet in the normal course of the day. Of course, there is also every possibility that the converse is true.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

LOL.

You can't stereotype your way into a quality LTR.

Do you really think women who go to clubs or use OLD never go to coffee shops, libraries or shopping centers? Don't make me laugh.

If the solution was that simple (location) this site would not exist.

Wow.

They do, but at first glance you see the ones who are desensitized to it, and the ones that aren't. The desensitized ones are usually dolled up, sexed up, and drugged up etc... yuk. The more normal ones, that aren't the above and not the obvious 'hottie', can often look distinctly uncomfortable there and then raise automatic defenses when approached. In real life, these girls are a lot more approachable... and 'getting the number' might actually go somewhere.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I've been noticing a very disturbing trend in the past 5 years. Men's logic and interpretations of statements is becoming more and more female, in every corner of life, it seems.

Here Epicurus mentions a point regarding ODDS and statistical chances, and so many men interpret his statement exactly the way a female would tend to.... Disregarding his actual point and instead twisting his intent to mean something he did not say nor imply. Of course bar sluts go to libraries and church and such. This is entirely irrelevant to his point.

I swear, I am witnessing men's ability to process logically literally eroding away year by year.

Yes, this is an important point.... the increasing inability to think properly. I point my finger at 'literalism'. It's an overly abstract frame of mind that thinks in absolutes. Of course, abstraction is important, but it needs to be held in tension with its counterpart, which is the real world of flux and experience. It's in the interfusion of these polarities that men think correctly and creatively.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The REAL issue is the quality of the market as a whole. No amount of Starbucks visits or Library card collecting will change the basic market trend.

This is false consciousness and 'bad faith'. What you are doing is looking at the mass and norm. That is irrelevant when you consider that any person of worth, whether a woman or yourself, requires an education... and lacking that can be easily prone to miseducation... or ideology.

Now an educated person has managed to remove themselves from the mass [educatio = to lead out], and so becomes orientated to transcendent ideals. And it through these ideals that people are capable of living in a relationship - with a minimum, they may live in a state; with a maximum, they may manage to live in an LTR. If this is true, then one needs to find a literate woman... not one who can read [but is alliterate], but one that does actually read. You are more likely to find this kind of woman in quiet places.

Of course, all of this relates to increasing your chances of an LTR.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

May be true, but still something attracts me about the down town/bar scene. I feel like if I can't conquer it, that I've failed to live up to potential.

Plus, who wants to meet their wife at the grocery store?

Although I do know couples who have met this way.

 

[Urbanyst]

All I do is:
Feel good.
Be present, be curious. (and not bitter, even if you already went through a million unloyal hoes)
Communicate.

Everything could be in your favor, but if you act like you EXPECT to lose (because of reasons X,Y, Z) you will still strike out.
No matter the circumstances.

There is a reason most guys EXPECT to lose. That reason is most guys can do simple math lol.

From a probability standpoint.. rejection is much more probable than acceptance. But this is true in most situations. Such as applying for jobs.

When you're honest with yourself about your level of VALUE in the market, its pretty easy to know what kinds of girls to approach. At least that's been the case for me.

I've also noticed that what I attract and pull while wearing a suite is different than what I pull wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Women really are THAT shallow and in most cases they make their decision based on your physical appearance before even one word comes out of your mouth. I've seen very attractive guys get shot down instantly upon approach.

Its really more a MATH game than anything else. There isn't much you have to do other than initiate and close. You have guys like @deesade engaging in extreme levels of CALIBRATION to "seduce" women when the girl likely made her decision to f*ck or not the minute she saw him lol.

Not to mention.. these days with the booming STR market, only a really desperate man needs to talk a woman into f*cking him.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

women who wouldnt make good LTR girlfriends can be found anywhere.

Or EVERYWHERE. Haha.

 

[Atom Smasher]

There are a small number of women who are not riding the Carousel. The problem most men face is that these women are invisible to them, and they to this this handful of women.

Therefore, these men (the vast majority) would bet their last dollar that quality woman don't exist.

Your dear old Uncle Atom has much experience under his belt, and he says that although rare as can be, they exist. In fact dear old Uncle Atom has one in his life, and as tough and demanding as I am, she is a source of pleasure and encouragement in my life. She needs very little correction, and when she gets it, she thanks me for it and straightens it out without any fuss at all.

Ten years ago I would swear that there are literally no decent women left. But in the process of molding myself into a decent, respectable man, I discovered that they do indeed exist. I had no eyes to see back then.

The problem with many men today is that they imagine that they deserve women who can't even perceive them as anything but a pile of flesh and bones, a meaningless "thing". These men have no power because they have no will to rise to be a better man, the old-fashioned term being "alpha". We need a better term at this point.

Of course, I always speak from a relationship standpoint, not a ONS standpoint.

Men are becoming like women in their thought processes, and again I can see the immense logical flaws in many of the arguments above.

How does one get blind men to see, and in so doing making them visible to the better quality women? Most men are a lamp post, a garbage bin, or any other object that only registers as an object to walk around and certainly not to interact with.

How did I myself become visible? Everywhere I go, I see women looking at me and "performing" for me in my presence. This is because I emit an aura that fascinates them.

Ten years ago I emitted an aura of "loser". A socially awkward loser. 6 years ago I emitted an aura of "meh". Just a nothing. Now I emit an aura that attracts beautiful women like you-know-what attracts flies. Why though? How did I discover and become able to perceive and be sought-after by this tiny handful of women?

It was a natural progression of applying the main principles taught here. And I bent my reality by considering myself superior to all women, not in worth as a human being but as a man of authority and influence. I can't overstate the importance of rejecting women for their bad behavior. It is key. My reality was "Atom the Loser". I decided to reject that reality and live in a new imaginary reality until it became a factual, practical reality.

Nowadays I experience the annoyance of women trying to act all cute around me. I see them gazing out of my peripheral vision. It's weird, and kind of annoying, but I always know it's because I succeeded in taking the hammer and chisel to myself and making myself into a powerful masculine man. It wasn't long ago that I couldn't even look a woman in they eye if I didn't know her.

I will stand by the statement that the chances of finding a decent woman in the bars and clubs is close to nil. The upper 2% aren't hanging out there. But that doesn't matter to most men, because to most men, these women don't even exist. That's good, because this leaves the pick of the litter to men like me who can see them and can be seen by them.

I shudder to think what I was just a few short years ago. Quality women are far from mythical. They are simply rare, and not visible to the average man. They are out of the range of perception, just as our eyes are incapable of seeing certain frequencies of light. Therefore most men relegate them to "myth" status.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter where they are. They appear once a man develops eyes to see. In that regard, location is relatively meaningless. But I can assure you that they're not hanging out in bars and clubs.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

There are a small number of women who are not riding the Carousel. The problem most men face is that these women are invisible to them, and they to this this handful of women.

Therefore, these men (the vast majority) would bet their last dollar that quality woman don't exist.

Your dear old Uncle Atom has much experience under his belt, and he says that although rare as can be, they exist. In fact dear old Uncle Atom has one in his life, and as tough and demanding as I am, she is a source of pleasure and encouragement in my life. She needs very little correction, and when she gets it, she thanks me for it and straightens it out without any fuss at all.

Ten years ago I would swear that there are literally no decent women left. But in the process of molding myself into a decent, respectable man, I discovered that they do indeed exist. I had no eyes to see back then.

The problem with many men today is that they imagine that they deserve women who can't even perceive them as anything but a pile of flesh and bones, a meaningless "thing". These men have no power because they have no will to rise to be a better man, the old-fashioned term being "alpha". We need a better term at this point.

Of course, I always speak from a relationship standpoint, not a ONS standpoint.

Men are becoming like women in their thought processes, and again I can see the immense logical flaws in many of the arguments above.

How does one get blind men to see, and in so doing making them visible to the better quality women? Most men are a lamp post, a garbage bin, or any other object that only registers as an object to walk around and certainly not to interact with.

How did I myself become visible? Everywhere I go, I see women looking at me and "performing" for me in my presence. This is because I emit an aura that fascinates them.

Ten years ago I emitted an aura of "loser". A socially awkward loser. 6 years ago I emitted an aura of "meh". Just a nothing. Now I emit an aura that attracts beautiful women like you-know-what attracts flies. Why though? How did I discover and become able to perceive and be sought-after by this tiny handful of women?

It was a natural progression of applying the main principles taught here. And I bent my reality by considering myself superior to all women, not in worth as a human being but as a man of authority and influence. I can't overstate the importance of rejecting women for their bad behavior. It is key. My reality was "Atom the Loser". I decided to reject that reality and live in a new imaginary reality until it became a factual, practical reality.

Nowadays I experience the annoyance of women trying to act all cute around me. I see them gazing out of my peripheral vision. It's weird, and kind of annoying, but I always know it's because I succeeded in taking the hammer and chisel to myself and making myself into a powerful masculine man. It wasn't long ago that I couldn't even look a woman in they eye if I didn't know her.

I will stand by the statement that the chances of finding a decent woman in the bars and clubs is close to nil. The upper 2% aren't hanging out there. But that doesn't matter to most men, because to most men, these women don't even exist. That's good, because this leaves the pick of the litter to men like me who can see them and can be seen by them.

I shudder to think what I was just a few short years ago. Quality women are far from mythical. They are simply rare, and not visible to the average man. They are out of the range of perception, just as our eyes are incapable of seeing certain frequencies of light. Therefore most men relegate them to "myth" status.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter where they are. They appear once a man develops eyes to see. In that regard, location is relatively meaningless. But I can assure you that they're not hanging out in bars and clubs.

Where do you go that you observe this behavior of women? And where/how did you meet your current gal?

 

[Atom Smasher]

@atomsmasher

i dont think you udnerstood my post in the least bit.

was your sweetheart a virgin when you met her? how much of her sexual past do you know about?

I wasn't replying to your post. I'm simply riffing on the general subject. I just barely skimmed yours.

But I will certainly stand by my point that average men are invisible to upper-tier women. And they are invisible to average men. Average doesn't fly with these women, trust me.

Experience and massively hard work has done wonders for my achieving clarity.

She is a widow and has only ever been intimate with her late husband.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Where do you go that you observe this behavior of women? And where/how did you meet your current gal?

Everywhere. When a guy starts to "get it", he starts to give off what I can only call an aura. Whether I go to a restaurant, a mall, a shop or store, pretty much anywhere, I get the gazes and the "performance". You know how when two or more girls are together and they like you, so they start talking to each other as a performance in your presence? They are not relating to each other anymore, but rather talking to each other and saying things to impress you.

That always annoys me quite a bit. It's probably equivalent to a beautiful woman having all these guys who she has no interest in bother her. Not a lot of women will directly approach. Their way seems to be performing and trying to be cute in order to get the guy to take notice and approach. Many times I'd rather be alone and unnoticed, but I constantly get these women cackling away for my entertainment pleasure.

I think it's a lot easier for us older guys, because NGAF becomes much easier. You become less entangled in the cultural norms and expectations of your peers and more independent in attitude. You can take or leave just about anything. When you're young, say maybe up to your 40s, it's much more difficult to detach. That's why I can talk so boldly here at SS. What do I care if someone thinks I'm bragging? Totally meaningless to me. The ones who thirst after knowledge figure out where to drink from.

So it's not a matter of location. It's "aura", the vibe you give off. Dude, I was a total loser in terms of aura just a few short years ago. I shudder to think of it. I never would have believed I could turn it around. But I did, because I had the raw material (character). I just needed to arrange it into place and become a congruent man.

I write these things to give the young 'uns hope. I was as hopeless as they come. Truly. I had no idea under the sun how to deal with women or to "get them to like me", which was how I thought of it back then.

Now I qualify them instead of the other way around.

I met my current gal on a Christian dating site, and I must say that our similarity in faith is an enormous advantage. When you get to be my age you start to discern character extremely fast, almost instantly. I knew she would be a keeper before I even met her face to face, and that is totally unlike me.

When I met her I was surprised because she turned out to be stunningly beautiful, and I was surprised to observe that this didn't phase me in the least. She looked way hotter than in her picture. As I sometimes say here, she is that rare woman who lights up a room when she walks in. The me of the past would have acted all weird and self conscious, but I totally took it in stride. She has turned out to be devoted, loyal, non-argumentative, submissive, intelligent, helpful, and instead of providing irritation and grief ion my life, she actually enhances it.

Again, stated here to show that as rare as they may be, they do exist. She wouldn't have given me the time of day had I met her ten years ago. I was only a phantom back then.

 

[Atom Smasher]

What do you mean, I thought you were defining "upper-tier" as high character and morals. Those women date "average" high-morals high-character men all the time...they are not into hypergamy per se.

I don't perceive average men to be particularly high-moral or high-character at all. In my view, these men are the upper tier, not the average.

Edit: As I think about it, I think there are average men like that, but they are crippled by their blue pill upbringing. When you have those positive character qualities plus the healing red pill, you are a potent force.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Everywhere. When a guy starts to "get it", he starts to give off what I can only call an aura. Whether I go to a restaurant, a mall, a shop or store, pretty much anywhere, I get the gazes and the "performance". You know how when two or more girls are together and they like you, so they start talking to each other as a performance in your presence? They are not relating to each other anymore, but rather talking to each other and saying things to impress you.

That always annoys me quite a bit. It's probably equivalent to a beautiful woman having all these guys who she has no interest in bother her. Not a lot of women will directly approach. Their way seems to be performing and trying to be cute in order to get the guy to take notice and approach. Many times I'd rather be alone and unnoticed, but I constantly get these women cackling away for my entertainment pleasure.

I think it's a lot easier for us older guys, because NGAF becomes much easier. You become less entangled in the cultural norms and expectations of your peers and more independent in attitude. You can take or leave just about anything. When you're young, say maybe up to your 40s, it's much more difficult to detach. That's why I can talk so boldly here at SS. What do I care if someone thinks I'm bragging? Totally meaningless to me. The ones who thirst after knowledge figure out where to drink from.

So it's not a matter of location. It's "aura", the vibe you give off. Dude, I was a total loser in terms of aura just a few short years ago. I shudder to think of it. I never would have believed I could turn it around. But I did, because I had the raw material (character). I just needed to arrange it into place and become a congruent man.

I write these things to give the young 'uns hope. I was as hopeless as they come. Truly. I had no idea under the sun how to deal with women or to "get them to like me", which was how I thought of it back then.

Now I qualify them instead of the other way around.

I met my current gal on a Christian dating site, and I must say that our similarity in faith is an enormous advantage. When you get to be my age you start to discern character extremely fast, almost instantly. I knew she would be a keeper before I even met her face to face, and that is totally unlike me.

When I met her I was surprised because she turned out to be stunningly beautiful, and I was surprised to observe that this didn't phase me in the least. She looked way hotter than in her picture. As I sometimes say here, she is that rare woman who lights up a room when she walks in. The me of the past would have acted all weird and self conscious, but I totally took it in stride. She has turned out to be devoted, loyal, non-argumentative, submissive, intelligent, helpful, and instead of providing irritation and grief ion my life, she actually enhances it.

Again, stated here to show that as rare as they may be, they do exist. She wouldn't have given me the time of day had I met her ten years ago. I was only a phantom back then.

That mindset is the highest level one can have; you called it ‘aura’. I’ve tasted it before, but I lost it. How can I regain that again? When I was 15 and still in my “I’m the greatest” phase, I exhibited this aura like no other. And back when I was still super pissed off at moving my senior year of high school, I gave off this ‘aura’ of angry aggression and giving absolutely no craps. The kids who lived in the projects nearby who went to that school were afraid of me because they felt that I was different from the rest of those pansies. I would walk in he hallways and a group of 3 or 4 football players with their jerseys on and they’d be shoving each other around as a joke, and when I would walk they would part way for me. People in general did that even when I purposefully walked on the opposite side of the hallway. I forced myself to calm down since getting into college because I thought that college kids weren’t as much of a sissy as those others, but it was actually almost as bad, and then I lost that aggressive drive in me.

I’m getting it back now because I finally realized how things actually are here (and fortunately I’m not really all that angry either), but I need to speed up the process and get the drive that I had when I was still in high school. And then get the mindset that I had when I felt as good as can be, or maybe adopt/create a whole new mindset entirely. You probably already know that from my previous posts, but how exactly can I speed up this process and strengthen what I already have?

 

[byers90]

That mindset is the highest level one can have; you called it ‘aura’. I’ve tasted it before, but I lost it. How can I regain that again? When I was 15 and still in my “I’m the greatest” phase, I exhibited this aura like no other. And back when I was still super pissed off at moving my senior year of high school, I gave off this ‘aura’ of angry aggression and giving absolutely no craps. The kids who lived in the projects nearby who went to that school were afraid of me because they felt that I was different from the rest of those pansies. I would walk in he hallways and a group of 3 or 4 football players with their jerseys on and they’d be shoving each other around as a joke, and when I would walk they would part way for me. People in general did that even when I purposefully walked on the opposite side of the hallway. I forced myself to calm down since getting into college because I thought that college kids weren’t as much of a sissy as those others, but it was actually almost as bad, and then I lost that aggressive drive in me.

I’m getting it back now because I finally realized how things actually are here (and fortunately I’m not really all that angry either), but I need to speed up the process and get the drive that I had when I was still in high school. And then get the mindset that I had when I felt as good as can be, or maybe adopt/create a whole new mindset entirely. You probably already know that from my previous posts, but how exactly can I speed up this process and strengthen what I already have?

You stop worrying and start living, that's how. When you truly stop caring and do what you want, that's when you'll be free. Far too many people do the opposite and live for the approval of others.....so sad because they never end up happy.

 

[Trump]

Everywhere. When a guy starts to "get it", he starts to give off what I can only call an aura. Whether I go to a restaurant, a mall, a shop or store, pretty much anywhere, I get the gazes and the "performance". You know how when two or more girls are together and they like you, so they start talking to each other as a performance in your presence? They are not relating to each other anymore, but rather talking to each other and saying things to impress you.

That always annoys me quite a bit. It's probably equivalent to a beautiful woman having all these guys who she has no interest in bother her. Not a lot of women will directly approach. Their way seems to be performing and trying to be cute in order to get the guy to take notice and approach. Many times I'd rather be alone and unnoticed, but I constantly get these women cackling away for my entertainment pleasure.

If it annoys you so much beautiful women are starting at you and want to make love to you when you go out for a simple cup of coffee, just stop being so sexy.

So it's not a matter of location. It's "aura", the vibe you give off. Dude, I was a total loser in terms of aura just a few short years ago. I shudder to think of it. I never would have believed I could turn it around. But I did, because I had the raw material (character). I just needed to arrange it into place and become a congruent man.

I write these things to give the young 'uns hope. I was as hopeless as they come. Truly. I had no idea under the sun how to deal with women or to "get them to like me", which was how I thought of it back then.

Now I qualify them instead of the other way around.

I met my current gal on a Christian dating site, and I must say that our similarity in faith is an enormous advantage.

Bro this is making no sense.

You go out for a drink and beautiful girls are eyeing you and want to have sex with you and make love to you. So much so that it is annoying.

Then you have to go online to find your current girlfriend?

Am I missing something here?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You stop worrying and start living, that's how. When you truly stop caring and do what you want, that's when you'll be free. Far too many people do the opposite and live for the approval of others.....so sad because they never end up happy.

I don’t love for the approval of anyone anymore, and even less so now than before. It’s helped me out actually to speed this process up. I guess I should learn to always be this regardless of how much tougher or stronger the environment I’m in is.

If it annoys you so much beautiful women are starting at you and want to make love to you when you go out for a simple cup of coffee, just stop being so sexy.



Bro this is making no sense.

You go out for a drink and beautiful girls are eyeing you and want to have sex with you and make love to you. So much so that it is annoying.

Then you have to go online to find your current girlfriend?

Am I missing something here?

Even if those women were high quality, they likely were not compatible with Atom Smasher or their timing in trying to compete for his attention was bad, i.e. right place, wrong time. Online you know the logistics of who you’re talking to.

 

[ubercat]

AS clearly stated it was a Christian dating site. He had specific requirements. Ok he's obviously got a fairly healthy ego but hey that's the American way always be selling.

There's a level of cynicism that isn't useful. Sure you'll have to guard against the bad things in life but good things happen too. Why so negative?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

@atomsmasher

i dont think you udnerstood my post in the least bit.

many men experience what you experience. myself included.

the point wasnt that quality women dont exist. the point is that men have an idealized notion of what a quality woman is vs what a quality woman really is.

i have met many pleasant women and many "low quality" women in all kinds of places.

so your sleight that "Average" men are invisible to "quality women" is a self righteous fallacy.

quality women EXIST but not in the way most men (including many red pill) IDEALIZE them and most men wouldnt know a real quality woman if they had one

THAT is the point of my post.

was your sweetheart a virgin when you met her? how much of her sexual past do you know about?

Most men are obsessed with the 'hottie' thanks to full immersion in media. The more decent girls, not desperate for male attention, hardly register on their radar. But it's these hotties that tend to have all the problems... due to too much attention.

I have re-programmed myself to find the 'hottie' distinctly unattractive these days. It's really the uprooting of a false desire, which might go towards contributing to that modicum of happiness we might find in this life.