Are you looking for diamonds in a trash can?

[Epicurus]

Interesting discussion I was having with one of my graduate school professors the other day and he brought up a rarely discussed yet fair and valid point.

The topic of where are you looking/meeting a LTR candidate from was brought up. And it was discussed how many indivuals look in all the wrong places. The odds of finding someone loyal, valuable and lasting are already against you(divorce is at a 50% rate). But by going to places like the club, OLD, bars etc looking for these things. The odds are stacked against you even more. This only applies to those men looking for something serious ofc as there’s nothing wrong with these places. But location certainly matters.

You are much more likely to find someone worthwhile doing everyday activities; shopping, park, libraries, getting lunch etc

 

[derby1]

this is a fair point however i am a carer on odd shifts and also a father whos daughter visits often, i do not have the spare time to walk round libraries, art galleries...so i ventured towards OLD, I have also tbf had two long terms from OLD...however this recent venture has turned out there all a lot more Strange..ALOT.. there behaviour is exactly what they would call the police if a male was to do it to them

 

[Atom Smasher]

Interesting discussion I was having with one of my graduate school professors the other day and he brought up a rarely discussed yet fair and valid point.

The topic of where are you looking/meeting a LTR candidate from was brought up. And it was discussed how many indivuals look in all the wrong places. The odds of finding someone loyal, valuable and lasting are already against you(divorce is at a 50% rate). But by going to places like the club, OLD, bars etc looking for these things. The odds are stacked against you even more. This only applies to those men looking for something serious ofc as there’s nothing wrong with these places. But location certainly matters.

You are much more likely to find someone worthwhile doing everyday activities; shopping, park, libraries, getting lunch etc

This is absolutely true. I stopped looking in clubs and bars by the time I was 20 years old, having spent 2 years in the bar scene and burning out (drinking was legal at 18).

I was successful with OLD but my method is radically different than most, methinks. I created an extremely effective profile, even quoting my post on another forum about "what a man should be" (one of them being not prioritizing a woman until engagement) and women went hog-wild over it. I essentially espoused the basic tenets of what we learn here, while offsetting any harshness with refinement and the projection of social calibration.

Then I put it out there as bait. I never approached women. I waited for the right one to approach me. I had designed my profile to scare away the modern-minded woman and to attract the woman with old-fashioned values and who want a man who has expectations of women. So there I was, lazily fishing at the pond until I got a nibble, and I reeled here in. She's a definite keeper. She brings me PEACE, not war and strife.

So I do think that OLD can be useful if one knows how to leverage it effectively. In day-to-day life, a man needs to strive to BE the best man he can be, and he will start to notice that positive conversations with women start happening, and that women start looking up to and respecting him.

The bars and clubs are truly the bottom of the barrel, an absolute wasteland.

When you concentrate on BEING and GIVING (contributing to the world and those around you), instead of GETTING or OBTAINING, women will be in the palm of your hand. They're in mine. Does anybody want one of my "spares"? Most likely, if you're like most men, they can't even see you as much more than a "thing" or a placeholder human who is taking up space.

Concentrate on BEING, and CONTRIBUTING, and DEMANDING (demanding proper behavior) and you will have "spares" of your own. You can choose to be a seeker (beggar?), or a MAGNET.

The two forbidden zones are clubs and work, when it comes to relationships. Clubs we have discussed. Work, because when she turns against you she will try to destroy your career, consciously if she is a b!tch, and subconsciously if she is a "nice" girl. Either way, the attempt will happen.

Take what @Epicurus says to heart. Cut bait in unproductive waters.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Coffee shops are where it's at... if you are looking for intelligent and sexy conversation. I don't meet a lot of women during the natural course of my day, but I meet enough to not even have to bother with bars and OLD. Saves money, save time, saves health, and much better quality of women.

Mind you, at my age you really need to be stepping up to the plate in the real world... because often you'll get written off on-line, and the bar scene just gets... old.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

i personally think this is a myth. does a girl have to go to the bars, clubs etc to be a slvt or "low quality"?

do actual slvts not shop for groceries, go to the library, take group lessons or play coed sports?

if you saw one of these girls at church, could you tell the difference?

The problem with the bargirls is you see the same ones there night in night out. They are addicted and need the stimulus. The coffee shop girl kind of girl, who I'm sure can be just as sexy when she wants to be, has an extra dimension to her. She has an intelligent side to her, and a self-constraint. She doesn't need to be constantly stimulated. She is comfortable with an intelligent conversation. She is simply more attractive at a variety of levels.

 

[Urbanyst]

LOL.

You can't stereotype your way into a quality LTR.

Do you really think women who go to clubs or use OLD never go to coffee shops, libraries or shopping centers? Don't make me laugh.

If the solution was that simple (location) this site would not exist.

Wow.

 

[sazc]

Interesting discussion I was having with one of my graduate school professors the other day and he brought up a rarely discussed yet fair and valid point.

The topic of where are you looking/meeting a LTR candidate from was brought up. And it was discussed how many indivuals look in all the wrong places. The odds of finding someone loyal, valuable and lasting are already against you(divorce is at a 50% rate). But by going to places like the club, OLD, bars etc looking for these things. The odds are stacked against you even more. This only applies to those men looking for something serious ofc as there’s nothing wrong with these places. But location certainly matters.

You are much more likely to find someone worthwhile doing everyday activities; shopping, park, libraries, getting lunch etc

Which is exactly why perfecting day game, and cold approaches, and learning to embrace rejection wholly, and without assigning shame and failure to yourself, is very important!

There have been many times when I have been out and about and I have been getting second glances from men at Costco or Petco or Walmart, and it is very clear that there is an interest, but then they don't approach.

Approach, say hello, start a topic about something you see she is holding, or doing.

Do not fear rejection.

 

[Epicurus]

LOL.

You can't stereotype your way into a quality LTR.

Do you really think women who go to clubs or use OLD never go to coffee shops, libraries or shopping centers? Don't make me laugh.

If the solution was that simple (location) this site would not exist.

Wow.

There’s always gotta be one of those idiots. Or in this case two. Adding bs onto my post of things I clearly didn’t say. Instead of using their brains for looking at the message on a deeper level. Instead using their 4th grade reading comprehension and not reading between the lines. Coffee shops, libraries, etc. Were simple examples to illustrate a difference in venue. The purpose of this post was the type of girls who frequent bars, clubs, etc are not the girls who are worthwhile. Be gone from me simple minded individuals for thou cannot add context onto the sermons I preach for I am the one preaching them.

The whole purpose of this thread was that you will have a higher chance and probability of meeting a great partner be it men or woman outside of clubs and venues of such reputation. For you will meet the most quality people while you are on your own personal journey and going on about your life.

For epicurus states; women who frequent bars, clubs, etc are not quality so why should you visit these if you are looking for quality.

They then twist my words and say; so every girl who goes to a bar(maybe 3 times a year) or a club on their birthday is a slut. Wow you’re such a moron blah blah don’t you think these women eat too and go to the libraries to read

Be gone

 

[sazc]

I'll chime in and say, I didn't read that @Epicurus was saying girls on OLD, at bars, etc were sluts.

What I took from his post and, admittedly, this is me adding narrative to what he said, is that cold approaching a female when you are out and about doing the things you like to do, and in a similar situation with the female, means you probably have something in common with that female.

This gives you an immediate conversation topic and some congruence with that female

 

[Von]

Interesting discussion I was having with one of my graduate school professors the other day and he brought up a rarely discussed yet fair and valid point.

The topic of where are you looking/meeting a LTR candidate from was brought up. And it was discussed how many indivuals look in all the wrong places. The odds of finding someone loyal, valuable and lasting are already against you(divorce is at a 50% rate). But by going to places like the club, OLD, bars etc looking for these things. The odds are stacked against you even more. This only applies to those men looking for something serious ofc as there’s nothing wrong with these places. But location certainly matters.

You are much more likely to find someone worthwhile doing everyday activities; shopping, park, libraries, getting lunch etc

You right... Location does matter in terms of probabilities increases towards your goal

If you are in an environment, you like affected by this external stimulus (aristotle external influence on the inner core) or you are there because your inner is externally represented...

So yes.. LTR diamonds can be find in clubs, bar etc... I've seen it happens but they aren't the type of environment which are ''LTR seeking people''

If you looking for ONS or casual flings: Club and Bar are a diamond

It's contextual about what you seeking and want and the locations you chose for it does influences your probabilities of success.

You seeking a LTR but going into clubs... you might be looking for a diamond in the mud.

Someone said Coffeeshop.... CoffeeShop around 8am (the hours before office hours of 9am)... is filled with professionnal, working beauties

Ex: You looking for a millionnaire? What's your chance of finding him in the ghettos full of drug addicts? You looking for a Asian girl but you are in a White Supremacist community etc.. etc..

I'll chime in and say, I didn't read that @Epicurus was saying girls on OLD, at bars, etc were sluts.

What I took from his post and, admittedly, this is me adding narrative to what he said, is that cold approaching a female when you are out and about doing the things you like to do, and in a similar situation with the female, means you probably have something in common with that female.

This gives you an immediate conversation topic and some congruence with that female

Agreed... It's there you will see the quality material... As a DJ, girls should be a side effect of the movements and actions YOU TAKE in YOUR LIFE

My GF is from dance school... I wasn't looking for any girls: I was glad in my business, my flirting, my training and dancing... minding and focusing ONLY ON ME and not doing any hunt or chasing... Than she appeared.. I asked her out, she asked me out and 7 months later we good together.

When you looking... you will dig alot... if you let yourself be found and act... you will be doing better with less effort.... ''80% of the job is just showing up'' - Woody Allen ... I believe that 20% left is doing the actions needed to succeed and those are improved by your skills and experience... the DJ set

In short:
Location matter... if you want a diamond.. you likely want to be in a diamond mine or jewelry shop than in the mud or marsh
Being at the good place for what you want is good
Action is the only way you will achieve something but location will improve your ''quality of people choice''

 

[sazc]

@MidnightCity it is true that it is unfair to categorize or generalize anyone in a bar. You really cannot know if anyone is quality by location alone.

However, at least if you meet them out and about, and not in a bar, a substance that can alter the way people think is not involved. A substance that can create dependency is not involved.

I just think that you have a better chance for success with the other person if substances are not involved.

Unless of course you define success as bagging her real quick

 

[Atom Smasher]

LOL.

You can't stereotype your way into a quality LTR.

Do you really think women who go to clubs or use OLD never go to coffee shops, libraries or shopping centers? Don't make me laugh.

If the solution was that simple (location) this site would not exist.

Wow.

He's talking about ratios and degree of concentration in any given scenario. Of course club girls go to coffee shops, libraries, etc. At the club, 100% are club girls, the lowest of the low in my experience. At the library, the ratio of club girls to more desirable ones is vastly different.

At the club, your are guaranteed to get a club chick. At other venues, you are unlikely.

Not to mention that fact that a man of knowledge can identify a club-type chick within 60 seconds of conversation.

 

[btownbuck2012]

LOL.

You can't stereotype your way into a quality LTR.

Do you really think women who go to clubs or use OLD never go to coffee shops, libraries or shopping centers? Don't make me laugh.

If the solution was that simple (location) this site would not exist.

Wow.

hate to, but I have to agree with this.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Interesting discussion I was having with one of my graduate school professors the other day and he brought up a rarely discussed yet fair and valid point.

The topic of where are you looking/meeting a LTR candidate from was brought up. And it was discussed how many indivuals look in all the wrong places. The odds of finding someone loyal, valuable and lasting are already against you(divorce is at a 50% rate). But by going to places like the club, OLD, bars etc looking for these things. The odds are stacked against you even more. This only applies to those men looking for something serious ofc as there’s nothing wrong with these places. But location certainly matters.

You are much more likely to find someone worthwhile doing everyday activities; shopping, park, libraries, getting lunch etc

I've been noticing a very disturbing trend in the past 5 years. Men's logic and interpretations of statements is becoming more and more female, in every corner of life, it seems.

Here Epicurus mentions a point regarding ODDS and statistical chances, and so many men interpret his statement exactly the way a female would tend to.... Disregarding his actual point and instead twisting his intent to mean something he did not say nor imply. Of course bar sluts go to libraries and church and such. This is entirely irrelevant to his point.

I swear, I am witnessing men's ability to process logically literally eroding away year by year.

 

[Urbanyst]

I've been noticing a very disturbing trend in the past 5 years. Men's logic and interpretations of statements is becoming more and more female, in every corner of life, it seems.

Here Epicurus mentions a point regarding ODDS and statistical chances, and so many men interpret his statement exactly the way a female would tend to.... Disregarding his actual point and instead twisting his intent to mean something he did not say nor imply. Of course bar sluts go to libraries and church and such. This is entirely irrelevant to his point.

I swear, I am witnessing men's ability to process logically literally eroding away year by year.

Ironically you entirely missed my point.

Which is that "location" is not the solution to the sh*t market we now live in.

Saying you meet better quality women in "church" is such an obvious statement you would be an idiot to make a thread about it lol. Likewise, coffee shops, libraries, etc. Too obvious to make a thread about. Boys in middle school know this. Which is why I responded the way I did.

The REAL issue is the quality of the market as a whole. No amount of Starbucks visits or Library card collecting will change the basic market trend.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Approach women EVERYWHERE.
Problem solved.

Attitude:
I don't go places to pickup girls. Never worked for me and I don't like wasting time. Personally, I dislike using the term "approaching" because it gives off a needy vibe. Most of my "approaches" are so organic that me and the girl usually have a hard time recalling exactly how it went about.

All I do is:
Feel good.
Be present, be curious. (and not bitter, even if you already went through a million unloyal hoes)
Communicate.

Everything could be in your favor, but if you act like you EXPECT to lose (because of reasons X,Y, Z) you will still strike out.
No matter the circumstances.

In my early twenties I used to share a lot of my tiny insights like the OP is doing here and got SH!T in return. Just naysayers, back-stabbers and no constructive feedback. Simply a waste of time. Nobody helped me better than I helped myself by just sitting down at a desk writing down my thoughts and being harsh and analytical about what the fvk I'm doing. And it helped. That's also why I'm not going to spoon feed anyone my ideas or intellectual property.

And let me be candid with you guys: I'm selfish. If I find a goldmine, I'm not telling the world until I secured my own share. I'm always in my own lane regarding health, money and women. Many things in life are a zero-sum game where there can only be one winner. And to make things worse: those who already have it are more likely to get even MORE with less effort. Life is NOT fair. But even if you lose a 1,000 times in a row, get up and fight like you already won a 1,000 fights. That's the ONLY way you can get to the "haves" from the "have-nots".

If there was a stock for laziness, it would be the holy grail of all investments.
People never fail to be lazy. Even in crisis.

It may take a while, but you WILL get where you want if you just keep sculpting your life and state of mind to where you want it to be. Know your strengths and capitalize on it. Learn your vulnerabilities and built a wall around them so you can't resort to bad habits without putting more effort than your And put in the work. Day in, day out. You will stop being lazy and put in work while everyone else is wasting time on sitcoms and adventure movies. Your LIFE is the best adventure you will ever experience.

It's nice to have a chat with a professor and all of that, but what did you really need a professor to tell you that location matters? That the probability of finding a LTR in a club is like finding fish on a mountain top? You really couldn't sit down in the library or your dorm room for 45 minutes and come up with that AND MORE by just thinking it through?

Put whatever intellect you have to good and CONSISTENT use and you will eventually be able to DO whatever the fuk you want and GET more than you could ever need. Why? Because the majority of people will always be lazy and choose the easy way out, that's why. They never take any risk. Not even small risks. It's pathetic, but that's just the way it is and always will be.

I don't take my life for granted and I'm genuinely grateful for the simple fact that I have had the privilege to wake up to a healthy body yet another day. I'm just wired like that. You could literally be dead 10 seconds from now. For no obvious reason. Good, bad and innocent people die every fukking day. You could be next. And although I'm not fond of positive self-talk, I do think it helps some people compensate for that natural gratitude they don't seem to have.

I'm out.

 

[Epicurus]

Approach women EVERYWHERE.
Problem solved.

Attitude:
I don't go places to pickup girls. Never worked for me and I don't like wasting time. Personally, I dislike using the term "approaching" because it gives off a needy vibe. Most of my "approaches" are so organic that me and the girl usually have a hard time recalling exactly how it went about.

All I do is:
Feel good.
Be present, be curious. (and not bitter, even if you already went through a million unloyal hoes)
Communicate.

Everything could be in your favor, but if you act like you EXPECT to lose (because of reasons X,Y, Z) you will still strike out.
No matter the circumstances.

In my early twenties I used to share a lot of my insights like the OP is doing here and got SH!T in return. Just naysayers, back-stabbers and no constructive feedback. Simply a waste of time. Nobody helped me better than I helped myself by just sitting down at a desk writing down my thoughts and being harsh and analytical about what the fvk I'm doing. And it helped. That's also why I'm not going to spoon feed anyone my ideas or intellectual property.

And let me be candid with you guys: I'm selfish. If I find a goldmine, I'm not telling the world until I secured my own share. I'm always in my own lane regarding health, money and women. Many things in life are a zero-sum game where there can only be one winner. And to make things worse: those who already have it are more likely to get even MORE with less effort. Life is NOT fair. But even if you lose a 1,000 times in a row, get up and fight like you already won a 1,000 fights. That's the ONLY way you can get to the "haves" from the "have-nots".

If there was a stock for laziness, it would be the holy grail of all investments.
People never fail to be lazy. Even in crisis.

It may take a while, but you WILL get where you want if you just keep sculpting your life and state of mind to where you want it to be. Know your strengths and capitalize on it. Learn your vulnerabilities and built a wall around them so you can't resort to bad habits without putting more effort than your And put in the work. Day in, day out. You will stop being lazy and put in work while everyone else is wasting time on sitcoms and adventure movies. Your LIFE is the best adventure you will ever experience.

It's nice to have a chat with a professor and all of that, but what did you really need a professor to tell you that location matters? That the probability of finding a LTR in a club is like finding fish on a mountain top? You really couldn't sit down in the library or your dorm room for 45 minutes and come up with that AND MORE by just thinking it through?

Put whatever intellect you have to good and CONSISTENT use and you will eventually be able to DO whatever the fuk you want and GET more than you could ever need. Why? Because the majority of people will always be lazy and choose the easy way out. They never take any risk. Not even small risks. It's pathetic, but that's just the way it is and always will be.

I don't take my life for granted and I'm genuinely grateful for the simple fact that I have had the privilege to wake up to a healthy body yet another day. I'm just wired like that. You could literally be dead 10 seconds from now. For no obvious reason. Good, bad and innocent people die every fukking day. You could be next. And although I'm not fond of positive self-talk, I do think it helps some people compensate for that natural gratitude they don't seem to have.

I'm out.

Appreciate the response. Many great points and insight. Glad to have read it all. But once again they try to analyze the ‘Curus and they fail. Who would have thought. Point to the place in my post I said my professor was the one who brought up the topic of location. I said we had a discussion, meaning thoughts were shared back and forth. But to your surprise. I was the one who brought up the topic

 

[HoneyHitter]

Appreciate the response. Many great points and insight. Glad to have read it all. But once again they try to analyze the ‘Curus and they fail. Who would have thought. Point to the place in my post I said my professor was the one who brought up the topic of location. I said we had a discussion, meaning thoughts were shared back and forth. But to your surprise. I was the one who brought up the topic

Great, but please quote where I said your professor brought up the topic of location. And in all fairness, it doesn't really matter who brought up the topic. Unless you're looking for another pat on the back.

 

[Epicurus]

Great, but please quote where I said your professor brought up the topic of location. And in all fairness, it doesn't really matter who brought up the topic. Unless you're looking for another pat on the back.

“did you really need a professor to tell you that location matters? That the probability of finding a LTR in a club is like finding fish on a mountain top? You really couldn't sit down in the library or your dorm room for 45 minutes and come up with that AND MORE by just thinking it through?”

 

[HoneyHitter]

“did you really need a professor to tell you that location matters? That the probability of finding a LTR in a club is like finding fish on a mountain top? You really couldn't sit down in the library or your dorm room for 45 minutes and come up with that AND MORE by just thinking it through?”

Smh. I guess general reading comprehension is hitting an alltime low.