Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Are you happy?

SmooveMooves

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Would you describe yourself as such?

How do you get happiness that derives from you and not some outside factor? Even while pursuing goals & dreams. I know personally that men should be content with themselves and never rely on outside validation, however, I still can't shake that feeling I get when I pick up that feminine HB8.

How do shake this? Does it ever go away or do we learn to ignore it?
 

wifehunter

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The problem with happeness is...it's based on what "happens". Life is not all ice cream and unicorns. It's only possible to stay happy if things go great all the time, which they don't. Joy, on the otherhand, is a whole different thing altogether, and not based on what "happens".
 

SmooveMooves

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My dad asks me this all the time for some reason. My answer is that "I am not unhappy".

The truth is that woman will never make you happy. Even though it is the most important game that you will ever play.

Whatever you had before is never good enough. I have a great family, and a happy life. I could have ignorantly settled down with a high-interest woman before now, and lived the idiot lifestyle.

Yet, I keep nexting, and keep striving. I am never "happy". Yet, I am never "unhappy".

I'm starting to think "happiness" is a concept for women and gays. Men should be never "happy". They should always be striving.

When they stop striving, they stop being men. They begin the decline into faggotry.

It's good to see someone else in a similar state. This describes how I'm feeling. Not happy but not "un-happy." Striving. My beef is, when I do run into a woman that I deem "high-quality," I feel validated. I do not like that. I want the validation to come from within.

I'm working towards aspirations right now and I feel like once I start making more headway, I'll get it. But I also think about if it never comes. I don't know. Definetly worth a discussion, thanks for the input.
 

CuddleJunkie

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Just today I had a deep low, I felt a little miserable. Might be because I started a new aggressive lifting routine, and I'm energy depleted. Anyhow, I went for a long walk from my place to the river, through the old, amazing architecture that my city has. It made me even more depressed, every place I saw, I had great memories on them, I started to contemplate the vacuity of the world through sad lenses. It was hard. Then I got to the river, I stopped right there, on the bridge, and saw how the light of the lamps played with the current. It was so beautiful, it felt so real. There was not a constant body of water, everything was flowing, and yet, it was amazing. I don't know how much time I stood there, letting my body, mind, and heart to experiment whatever they had to, maybe 20 minutes. Suddenly everything disappeared and I went back to my normal state.

As some of you have said, men are not meant to be happy. We have happy moments, after every victory. Not matter how small said victory is, maybe just a girl blatantly checking you out, perhaps a new PR, we all surely love adding a notch. But the rest of the time? The truth is, if you are too much happy you become complacent, and the decay start. I would define my normal state, the one I referred to before, as "being serene". I love every waking moment I have, even the ones when I'm sad or angry, I accept it and move on.
 

Roober

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Okay... what is HB7, HB8, etc.? I know it's a rating scale, but where does it come from?
 

ohrein

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The Four Noble Truths

1) Dukkha, "incapable of satisfying", painful. Life in this "mundane world", with its craving and clinging to impermanent states and things, is dukkha, unsatisfactory and painful.

2) Samydaya, the origination or arising of dukkha. Dukkha, and repeated life in this world, arises with tanha, "thirst", craving for and clinging to these impermanent states and things. This craving and clinging produces karma which leads to renewed becoming, keeping us trapped in rebirth and renewed dissatisfaction.

3) Nirodha, the cessation of dukkha. By stopping this craving and clinging, nirvana is attained, no more karma is produced, and rebirth and dissatisfaction will no longer arise.

4) Magga, the path to the cessation of, or liberation from dukkha. By following the Noble Eightfold Path, restraining oneself, cultivating discipline, and practicing mindfulness and meditation, craving and clinging will be stopped, and rebirth and dissastisfaction are ended.
 

CuddleJunkie

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It means Hot Babe, it is an ooooooooooooold term, which I personally love.

For me it is a "would tell bros" thing.
5. would bang only if no-one would know.
6. Would bang and tell bros only if it comes up in conversation
7. Would bang and tell bros next time I see them
8. Would bang and text bros right after the bang
9. Would start up a periscope streaming for all of my bros to proudly watch.
10. Winona Rider
 

SmooveMooves

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I avoided approaching a bunch of women today. I thought that I was over that sh*t by now. Yet I approached a gorgeous HB7 (a HB8 in my view, but I'm being objective) with a f*cking hot arse, and brunette dark looks. I number closed this one.
Where the hell are you going where you're presented with so many opportunities. I need to come visit Europe.
 

SmooveMooves

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The Four Noble Truths

1) Dukkha, "incapable of satisfying", painful. Life in this "mundane world", with its craving and clinging to impermanent states and things, is dukkha, unsatisfactory and painful.

2) Samydaya, the origination or arising of dukkha. Dukkha, and repeated life in this world, arises with tanha, "thirst", craving for and clinging to these impermanent states and things. This craving and clinging produces karma which leads to renewed becoming, keeping us trapped in rebirth and renewed dissatisfaction.

3) Nirodha, the cessation of dukkha. By stopping this craving and clinging, nirvana is attained, no more karma is produced, and rebirth and dissatisfaction will no longer arise.

4) Magga, the path to the cessation of, or liberation from dukkha. By following the Noble Eightfold Path, restraining oneself, cultivating discipline, and practicing mindfulness and meditation, craving and clinging will be stopped, and rebirth and dissastisfaction are ended.
I appreciate the philosophy but the names over complicate things. I think ideologies should remain simple and streamlined. What ideology is this btw?
 

ohrein

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I appreciate the philosophy but the names over complicate things. I think ideologies should remain simple and streamlined. What ideology is this btw?
Buddhism. You're right, it's a bit wordy. I'll provide a simpler translation.

1) This essentially states that suffering is inseparable from life due to the fact everything is temporary including life itself.

2) Dukkha is a word to describe the suffering of desire. We suffer because we crave for things. Think about something in your life that is causing you distress and it will stem from the fact that reality does not match what you want. What this is trying to communicate is that you cause your own suffering because you focus on your desire, not your reality.

3) In order to end our dissatisfaction with life, we must cease craving and the attempt to hold onto things. Many people confuse this concept, stating "Well if I can't strive for things, then there's no point to living." or "This means I shouldn't strive for things!". Not true. We should attempt to be the best we can be however, we must accept that it is all fleeting. That is all.

4) The Eightfold Path is a Buddhist morality handbook which is interesting but more of an addition to the core concept above. However, it has some insights such as the above "restraining oneself, cultivating discipline, and practicing mindfulness and meditation, craving and clinging will be stopped, and rebirth and dissastisfaction are ended."
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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No, I am not. I don't have enough time in the day to do anything. When I transferred hich schools my senior year, my will power was crushed and so was my focus. I became very angry, to the point where I would walk in the hallways of school and really just want to beat the **** out of anyone who thought they were better than me (probably why no one messed with me though. Even one kid was known to be an aggressive douchebag was scared of me and admit it too haha). I have not fully recovered from that though. I missed out on what could have been one of the greatest years of my life and the university I attend does not fulfill my social needs whatsoever even though I do play a sport there.
Men should be never "happy". They should always be striving.
Men should never be content. But they are allowed to be happy.
 

dustmuffin

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I am usually content with some days of unexplainable happiness. I do have the occasional sad or pensive day. I lost a lot in my divorce and that makes me sad.

But, I have more than most people and I'm happy for that. I suffer from depression. I am lucky that I can afford treatment. Many folks can't. The medicine really keeps me sane. I have many positives in my life. Concentrating on the positive aspects of your life instead of the negatives is key to finding contentment and or happiness. I define contentment as not being happy or sad. Just an even calm keel. I am always trying to better myself.
 

bigneil

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Would you describe yourself as such?

How do you get happiness that derives from you and not some outside factor? Even while pursuing goals & dreams. I know personally that men should be content with themselves and never rely on outside validation, however, I still can't shake that feeling I get when I pick up that feminine HB8.

How do shake this? Does it ever go away or do we learn to ignore it?
Yes. Happiness is earning $10,000 a week and sleeping with multiple women 25+ years your junior, who achieve orgasm, while watching Donald Trump become President.
 

zekko

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I'm happy. I'm 56 years old. If you haven't learned how to be happy by the time you're my age, you will probably never figure it out. My life is far from perfect, but I count my blessings and I am thankful for what I have. When you get to be my age, every day is a gift lol.

I was not very happy in my 20s, I suffered with some depression. Not clinical depression, I just wasn't happy about things. I wasn't where I wanted to be, and although I was just a young man, I wasn't sure that I would ever get there. I had a lot of negative thoughts. I had to unlearn that way of thinking and start thinking more positive. I've been happy since I got into my 30s. I'm so positive now I would probably make my old self sick :)

Men should never be "happy" (contented). There is a word for that: complacency.
There's a big difference between being happy and being content. Being content implies that you are satisfied with where you are and don't care to try for more - that's complacency. But you can be happy and be happily striving, you can work hard at self improving, building that business, or whatever, and enjoy the journey.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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Men should never be content. But they are allowed to be happy.
Men should never be "happy" (contented). There is a word for that: complacency.
I guess it's about interpretation of the thing.... I would say I am consistently content as a baseline resting state, constantly enjoying elevated moments of pleasure and happiness. That relates to my psychological and emotional well-being, opposed to my drive towards personal goals and success. It relates to my intrinsic self worth opposed to extrinsic reinforcement. Relating to the adjective meaning of contentment, opposed to the verb.

As has been said, regards successfully pulling a bird; you're happy if you bang her, you're happy if you don't. Because nothing and no one detracts from your internal personal value.
 
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