"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Are you afraid of success?

kentgraham10

Don Juan
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Because I am. Tonight I was in a How I met your mother situation (3 dudes, 2 chicks). One dude (Barney) and one chick (Robin) knew each other from before and clicked right away. Me and my bro? Well, my bro was REALLY into the other girl (Lilly). I thought she was cute but if he was more into it than I am, I'm not pushing the issue. Still, I did enough work where she thought I was the Marshall to her Lilly while he was the Ted (LOL).

So Ted goes up to go to the bathroom, I sit next to Lilly, and god damn, we had great chemistry. I knew how much my bro liked her, and I flirted a bit with Lilly without getting in my bro's space to keep the chemistry and good times going. We decide to go to another bar when he gets back.

Once he goes for his second bathroom break within minutes of getting there, I get close to the girl and do hardcore kino. She LOVES IT. Guess what, my bro comes back, I'm not raining on the parade, so I let it go.

To be fair to my bro, he says he was talking to her hardcore to get me and my other friend off these two chicks so we start dancing with random girls. I later find out either his feelings changed hardcore or he was lying about his feelings for her.

Anyway, my bro never dances, and HE ACTUALLY PULLED BOTH OF THEM AWAY FROM US and got them onto the dance floor so me and my other friend could pull some moves. Bro points for that, us two had fun.

The problem is the end of the night. Lilly is clearly not into my bro, he thinks otherwise. He fails to get her number. I go up to her with her real name in my phone as a new contact and tell her to put her number in. She does it instantly and gives me a hug. I tell her I'll talk to her another time and that my name was Marshall. She laughed and left.

Now, I told my bro I got the number for him. What I'm trying to decide now is what to do with this. I really thought she was cute, but my bro is acting like he's in love with her lol. It's bros before hoes according to the code, but what is the expiration date on that? If he doesn't hear from her through facebook like he's planning in the next few days, am I good to go? He's a great friend of mine and I'm not ruining the friendship over a girl, but still, what's a reasonable time?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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this is why i don't have male friends right here. because i would have closed the girl that night and pissed him off. you snooze you loose

I'm all for bros before hoes assuming the hoe likes the bro. but once you had your shot, it's time to let someone else step up to the plate
 

kentgraham10

Don Juan
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Oh, it's cool, I really overreacted. I come here to vent sometimes and I make myself thing I need advice. This site is awesome so I go here first. But yeah, I had her number and we sent a few text back and forth and have something set up for early in the week.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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TheWolfMan

Don Juan
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Good job dude, I don't think you did anything wrong it's not like you scooped her up on purpose. You actually held off and let your bro have a chance, she wasn't into him so its free game after that. I wouldn't have told your buddy you were getting her number for him as he would have gotten the picture without you having to really say it. Anyway looks like it's all good and you have plans with her now.
 
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