Are you a nice guy or a jerk?

[El Payaso]

Nice Guy: The nice guy dismisses what he used to value and what used to be important in his life.

The Jerk: The jerk values his priorities, his values, his time and his preferences. Always.

Nice Guy: She is the boss . . . of him.

The Jerk: He stays the boss . . . of himself.

Nice Guy: The nice guy senses how happy she is, paying close attention to her approval of him.

The Jerk: The jerk doesn't obsess over her opinion or need her approval.

Nice Guy: When she’s “into it” with the nice guy, he feels good; when she snubs him, he feels bad.

The Jerk: The jerk has more confidence, so someone else’s mood doesn't have much impact. Instead he goes out and has fun.

Nice Guy: The nice guy treats his interests as “little things” or secondary.

The Jerk: The jerk doesn't treat his interests as minor little things. They are his things.

Nice Guy: The nice guy gives too much first, and then negotiates reciprocity later.

The Jerk: The jerk gives only when it is reciprocal.

When a relationship starts off at lightning speed, the woman will at
some point pull back to regain her need for space and then the
man will be left off-balance. It’s then that the nice guy appears
needy, trying to “win back” her affections. This is when he jumps
through hoops. A woman loses respect for a man who needs her
approval, particularly when he will overcompensate to get it.

Don't be a Nice Guy. Be a Jerk.

 

[TheException]

Misinterpretation of a "jerk". If this was what a jerk really was....I'd advocate it. Unfortunately what you describe is neither "jerk" nor "nice guy". What you describe is a third category...."Alpha male".

A jerk is just as beta as a nice guy, albeit for different reasons. Both are insecure nonetheless.

 

[El Payaso]

Misinterpretation of a "jerk". If this was what a jerk really was....I'd advocate it. Unfortunately what you describe is neither "jerk" nor "nice guy". What you describe is a third category...."Alpha male".

A jerk is just as beta as a nice guy, albeit for different reasons. Both are insecure nonetheless.

Exactly. That's my point. The post was supposed to be a misinterpretation of a "jerk" from the eyes of most women and beta men. When in reality a "jerk" is just a man who looks out for himself and seeks approval from within not without.

 

[Keiz]

It's more to being a "jerk" than those you've listed. Telling people to be the jerk could just end badly for some, who might include other attributes that the female version of a "jerk" has. I see your point, but don't really approve of it. Should have just gone with Alpha vs. Nice Guy.

 

[zekko]

Misinterpretation of a "jerk". If this was what a jerk really was....I'd advocate it. Unfortunately what you describe is neither "jerk" nor "nice guy". What you describe is a third category...."Alpha male".

Agree completely. And the "nice guy" description is not of a guy who is nice, either. Rather, he is a pvssy whipped little cvnt.

I've always hated the way PUA gurus focus on the "jerk" and "nice guy" examples, because by using those labels, it makes it more likely for students to misunderstand the REAL points they are trying to put across. Which have nothing to do with being jerky or nice.

 

[Michael F Columbus]

Christopher Columbus was an actual jerk. columbus sucks. he lied about discovering america and had sex and was a cheater. fuk Columbus

 

[logicallefty]

Agree with OP's listings 100%. I use the terms AFC vs. DJ. I think we all mean the same regardless.

AFC aka "blue pill" aka "spineless" aka "wuss" aka "nice guy".

DJ aka "red pill" aka "has a spine" aka "strong framed" aka "jerk".

 

[KingBeef]

Nice Guy: The nice guy dismisses what he used to value and what used to be important in his life.

The Jerk: The jerk values his priorities, his values, his time and his preferences. Always. .

This was the only one "for me personally" that I would tweak just a little... what a nice guy used to value would either be re-evaluated, thrown to the backburner or be dismissed (if it's found to be detrimental) Otherwise, very good post.

As far as this "Jerk" persona, I hate when these websites setup these extreme (nice vs. jerk) scenarios. I mean I know what they're trying to do but it doesn't sometime "sink in" to a guy's consciousness... it's too extreme in the early stages. What they could try is changing that label to "Good guy, Complete man, etc". It all has to do with who to care for first and that's you. You can't be a great person (whether humble or not) without feeding and maintaining a healthy ego.