"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Are women more likely to consider cohabitating as bad?

MatureDJ

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http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/the-downside-of-cohabiting-before-marriage.html

It seems to me that 30-ish women have come to realize that cohabitation is not so good. I think what is going on is that women get a high value man, figure that living with him is just a pre-marriage, with the real marriage eventually coming. However, what happens is that after a few years, this high value male goes for a younger woman, and marries her, leaving his mature ex at a much reduced level of sexual market value, and a compromised pregnancy schedule. The man, OTOH, gets nice young poontang for a while until he is ready to start a family.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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zekko

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I'm sure women would rather have a marriage so they can get the nice financial severence package when they divorce you. As someone who is happily cohabitating, paying such a package is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. A nice side effect is that the girl doesn't have this leverage of a divorce to hold over you. The "I have a ring, now I own you" attitude.

On the other hand, the cost of living isn't cheap, so they may like the idea of sharing some bills before a possible wedding.

I think relationships have a certain shelf life. They call this the seven year itch, but it can be anywhere from four to 10 years from what I understand. Both genders may start to wonder about the excitement of a new partner. How you (and she) react to this largely determines whether or not the relationship will last. That's why it's so important that the relationship is based on more than just looks or sex. The danger is you never know how another person (in this case, the woman) is going to react.

With this in mind, if you live together for four years, then get married for three, then the seven year itch hits you... This is basically the same as being married for seven years then divorcing. So it looks like the couple that didn't cohabitate had the more successful marriage, because they were married longer. But the time that they lived together was the same.
 

MatureDJ

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zekko said:
I think relationships have a certain shelf life. They call this the seven year itch, but it can be anywhere from four to 10 years from what I understand.

<snip>

Get married for three, then the seven year itch hits you... This is basically the same as being married for seven years then divorcing. So it looks like the couple that didn't cohabitate had the more successful marriage, because they were married longer. But the time that they lived together was the same.
Interesting theory. So the reason that folks who cohabitate get divorced more, or at least quicker, is because they've already burned some of the relationship candle by the time they officially got married.
 
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