"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Are women helping men by putting them down?

Trump

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We all deal with women who don't like us sexually and put men down, either directly or indirectly. Then I started thinking, when women criticize men, are they not subtly helping us? Granted men shouldn't need outside validation and we are not in this world to live up to anyone's expectations, but all women want to be associated with great, powerful men, and when they put men down, they are saying "you have unbelievable power to look and be great, what are you waiting for?"

In some ways I think put downs can help men become "great." It's what makes men competitive, fuels their passion, gives them that fire. Curious to hear thoughts.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SmooveMooves

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It should be helping but modern men are so emasculated that rather then using being put down as fuel, they form exclusion groups and declare war.
 

bigneil

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Of course it helps. Nothing can inspire a man like a woman he loves. I thanked my girlfriend for the inspiration she gives me (just got back from my 30th session with the Physical Trainer for example).

I got dumped all the way to the top.
 

AlphaNate

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They're not consciously helping, no. They're being *******s, just like most people are.

It's up to YOU to turn it into a positive. You're talking about a core aspect of being a DJ - taking rejection as a way to learn and nothing else.
 

Urbanyst

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You should not need women to motivate you to do great things.

Its insulting to men when you suggest we cannot be naturally ambitious without having some woman at the finish line to motivate us.

I like having a comfortable life and not having to live in bad neighborhoods around dangerous and dysfunctional people. That was my main motivation to make money and succeed in life. I've always been terrified of living in poverty or being poor. Totally terrified. When I finished college I put all my energy into becoming successful.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ubercat

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Women want the results not the struggle. Basic hypergamy Theory. So no they aren't motivating you just ragging. The fat feminist at work who is trying to beat me out for a project manager job isn't trying to raise my game just stab on my back when I am weak and when I am strong she smiles her treacherous fake smile and slithers back into the Shadows
 

bigneil

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Although women don't intentionally, consciously inspire us, they inspire us by virtue of becoming the object of our affection. That is what you should be thankful for. Be grateful that she moves you the way she does.

99% of the greatest works of art in history were made by men - to impress women.

Our desire for self improvement and their being impossible to please is the battery that has driven civilization since the dawn of mankind. But it seems that Urbanyst wants to divide us into two groups of genders that resemble Ellen.
 

Urbanyst

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I'm harsh enough on myself.

So when women nag me, I know they are doing that to serve their own ends.

What I hear is "I want you to be more useful to me long-term".

And "I'm going to fix you into a provider".

They flatter your ego in order to get you to do what they want. Don't fall for it.
This is why fat shaming is so important. We need to motivate women to be hot.
 

El Payaso

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No. They just want you to be successful for them. A woman has no care for a man who is successful and she isn't able to tap his resources.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Mike32ct

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For some guys, the nagging gf or wife MIGHT have good intentions and can actually help the guy improve.

In other cases, the criticism causes more harm than good because it either isn't justified or it ends up discouraging the guy instead.

So sometimes it works. Other times no.
 

Infern0

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Very good topic.

The short answer is YES.

A lot of guys get upset if a girl is "bitchy" not realizing shes actually just being honest without giving a **** about your fellings.

My ex bpd was the best teacher i ever met because she just ripped all my weaknesses to shreds. At the time i considered it "abuse" but now im like gee thanks, you told me everything i need to improve on and made me a better man!

I learned more from her shredding me than in 25 odd years of people being "nice" and not being honest when trying to give me advice.

Thanks bpd ex!!!

Problem for most guys is their ego cant handle brutal honesty and criticism.

Yes hypergamy is real and yes women want you to be better for "selfish" needs but thats just the way the human race works and if we are being honest, we wouldnt want it to be any other way.
 
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Trump

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You should not need women to motivate you to do great things.

Its insulting to men when you suggest we cannot be naturally ambitious without having some woman at the finish line to motivate us.

I like having a comfortable life and not having to live in bad neighborhoods around dangerous and dysfunctional people. That was my main motivation to make money and succeed in life. I've always been terrified of living in poverty or being poor. Totally terrified. When I finished college I put all my energy into becoming successful.
Good point above. Taken to account that you lived ok and not in absolute poverty, would you care to do great things if women didn't exist?
 

Urbanyst

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Good point above. Taken to account that you lived ok and not in absolute poverty, would you care to do great things if women didn't exist?
Sure. Without women around to distract me, I would probably do even greater things.
 
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