Are women even still open to meeting men the old-fashioned way anymore?

[DonJuanjr]

I have noticed more socially inept behavior even from my friends' girlfriends/wives,

What are some of these behaviors?

 

[SW15]

What are some of these behaviors?

One of my friends' wives claimed she never got approached at a grocery store. This is false. Back when she was in her early to mid-20s, she was cute but not hot. Most men would have rated her somewhere between 6 to 7. I'm sure some guy approached her, but she was too socially inept to realize it.

 

[IKO69]

This is very true. Men don't know how to talk with women anymore. I rarely overhear any teases or flirts with women.

Most guys are SO EXCITED to SEE A GIRL in front of them. Wow, a woman! Wow, a wet hole! What will I do????

Then they proceed in this happy-go-lucky, super questioning mode, where every one of her answers is followed by a "wow, that's so cool!!".

Do not do this.

Everything is chill. You're just talking to a stranger, just as you would talk to some guy who spots you in the gym. You can comment on their shirt, or make some observation about them. Or, honestly, you can just straight ask their name and then say "I see you often here, so I have to say hi".

The opener really doesn't matter. What matters most is that you open your mouth.

You don't have to dedicate your life to cold approach. I'm going out with a girl tomorrow I "cold approached" in the gym because she was using a machine I had to use. I needed to use it so I asked to switch in with her. Then I got her talking and now we're going out.

You can do the same thing at any social event, or music event, or grocery store. Literally, ask about types of bread if you want. Or what the best flavor of peanuts is. It really doesn't matter. Anything to get her attention will do.

Start off chill, then start flirting with her. Bust her balls a bit (in a playful way).

When I close, I don't ask for her number. I just give her straight eye contact and say "We should go out sometime". Hold the eye contact and wait. If her response is positive, you get her number.

I like cold approach much more than OLD. To me, it's more human. Less swipes and more real conversation. You still fail, but afterwards you always feel proud that you overcame your fear.

Really good, that's how I would generally do it. I guess I have seen where a lot of guys mentioned the earbuds being a deterrence (and it sort of is), but what I have come to understand is the rules are largely enforced towards unattractive guys. You also have to take into consideration how a lot of the young, attractive women dress when they go to the gym - they wear some the tightest outfits: they practically put their entire body on display, especially the butt. They know what they are doing and want the attention --- of course they will welcome an approach from guys they happen to like.

I used to go to one of the Lifetime gyms here before the covid shut down, had lots of gorgeous women. I was probably the most popular guy there (at least during the time of day I went) with the women. That is not toot my own horn as I will be the first to tell you it doesn't mean **** as I only scored dates with a couple of them, but they liked talking to me. Would waive and say hi when they say me etc --- and that is largely because I wasn't afraid to start conversations with them as most of guys were. Some people are hardcore and it's all about the workout but let's be real that is a small %. A lot of the guys would gawk at the women but do little else.

You don't just hound a woman or come up to her mid set and ask a bunch of questions - it does require some tact. One of my moves was when I was at one of the cable/pulley machines and a babe would be next to me doing her thing. You know the type - the type that does one set and then admires herself in the mirror. I would wait until she turned back around and look her straight in the eye to get her attention and then motion to her earbuds. When she took them off I would say Hey lady you look good okay, but I want to know if you're using that attachment on the floor (one a person had left behind previously). You generally should not lead with a compliment on looks and I typically don't, but I considered this appropriate for the situation and it worked for me. You're letting them know you think they look good but their looks aren't more important than your workout (infact they are a bit obnoxious). Of course you want to deliver it a smile/joking tone of voice. The woman will likely be taken aback and nervously laugh at your boldness.

A lot of times I would workout next to them and ask if I could get the bench they were using after they were finished, etc. Short conversations at first, you want to treat it like a slow burn. The next time I saw them I would maybe wave at them or have another short conversation (the color of her shirt is nice or is that brand x? they have great quality clothing etc). You want to build familiarity at first - eventually they will be the one's that start saying hi to your first and what not - then you can progress things further. You might be on the treadmill for instance and she will take the one next to you and start a conversation since she knows you (these are things that happened to me so they will happen to you). These are the times when you can then turn on the charm.

---
Of course weight the risk. It can be embarrassing if you ask her out and get rejected because then you have to see her around. Try to get her dating status / wait for her to divulge it before you commit to pulling the trigger. Also don't be surprised when other guys give you the stink eye because they lack the courage to get off their lazy ****in asses and start conversations with the women of their own volition.

 

[SW15]

Most of what is discussed is discussed in the quote below is relevant to general gym floor game, which is the more difficult form of game at the gym. I prefer using fitness classes at a gym/fitness facility as a workaround to the earbud problem. Some of this quote can be relevant to outdoor park and outdoor walking/hiking path game as well. In most USA cities, there isn't sufficient foot traffic to run standard street game, so 'street game' takes on the form of outdoor approaching on parks and paths. This is most common in Sun Belt region cities that had a lot of growth post World War II.

I guess I have seen where a lot of guys mentioned the earbuds being a deterrence (and it sort of is), but what I have come to understand is the rules are largely enforced towards unattractive guys. You also have to take into consideration how a lot of the young, attractive women dress when they go to the gym - they wear some the tightest outfits: they practically put their entire body on display, especially the butt. They know what they are doing and want the attention --- of course they will welcome an approach from guys they happen to like.

It is good that you acknowledged that the earbuds are deterrence. They are. Very few men will be able to break through the earbuds barrier. Even if a man can get her to take off her earbuds for a moment, she's likely to be annoyed that she's doing so. The best way to be successful in breaking through the earbuds barrier is to look like a top tier guy. If you're 6'0"+ man with bigger muscles and look Top 10% level fit, it shouldn't be an issue to break through the earbuds. For everyone else, this will be an issue.

Women wear sexy outfits more so to the gym than to popular outdoor walking/hiking path spots. I've gamed the top outdoor paths in my city and there are sexy outfits there too.

I used to go to one of the Lifetime gyms here before the covid shut down, had lots of gorgeous women. I was probably the most popular guy there (at least during the time of day I went) with the women. That is not toot my own horn as I will be the first to tell you it doesn't mean **** as I only scored dates with a couple of them, but they liked talking to me. Would waive and say hi when they say me etc --- and that is largely because I wasn't afraid to start conversations with them as most of guys were. Some people are hardcore and it's all about the workout but let's be real that is a small %. A lot of the guys would gawk at the women but do little else.

Which time of the day were you going pre-Covid?

Pre-Covid, I was going mainly around 7 PM on weekdays. I was a big evening gym evening. Since Covid hit, my weekday times have been different. I've gone more in the middle of the day on work at home days and some weekday mornings.

What do you think is the best time to go for doing approaches?

When a man utilizes fitness classes, it's usually pre-work times (class start times are typically between 5:30-7 AM) or post work times (class start times between 5:30 PM-7:30 PM).

You don't just hound a woman or come up to her mid set and ask a bunch of questions - it does require some tact. One of my moves was when I was at one of the cable/pulley machines and a babe would be next to me doing her thing. You know the type - the type that does one set and then admires herself in the mirror. I would wait until she turned back around and look her straight in the eye to get her attention and then motion to her earbuds. When she took them off I would say Hey lady you look good okay, but I want to know if you're using that attachment on the floor (one a person had left behind previously). You generally should not lead with a compliment on looks and I typically don't, but I considered this appropriate for the situation and it worked for me. You're letting them know you think they look good but their looks aren't more important than your workout (infact they are a bit obnoxious). Of course you want to deliver it a smile/joking tone of voice. The woman will likely be taken aback and nervously laugh at your boldness.

A lot of times I would workout next to them and ask if I could get the bench they were using after they were finished, etc. Short conversations at first, you want to treat it like a slow burn. The next time I saw them I would maybe wave at them or have another short conversation (the color of her shirt is nice or is that brand x? they have great quality clothing etc). You want to build familiarity at first - eventually they will be the one's that start saying hi to your first and what not - then you can progress things further. You might be on the treadmill for instance and she will take the one next to you and start a conversation since she knows you (these are things that happened to me so they will happen to you). These are the times when you can then turn on the charm.

This is good technique discussion. Over the years, these techniques haven't typically been mine, but I think anyone can learn from this. In the gym and in gym fitness class, I tend to have a Mode One type mindset. I will ask a woman out in the first extended interaction (5 mins+). I don't know if I'll ever see them again. @We_ArE_VeNOM tends to run Mode One style game in malls/indoor retail.

Of course weight the risk. It can be embarrassing if you ask her out and get rejected because then you have to see her around. Try to get her dating status / wait for her to divulge it before you commit to pulling the trigger. Also don't be surprised when other guys give you the stink eye because they lack the courage to get off their lazy ****in asses and start conversations with the women of their own volition.

Some of this depends on which gym you go to and if you feel like switching gyms at some point. Bad romantic interactions at a gym have caused people to switch gyms before. It isn't pleasant to go to a gym and see someone who rejected your first date offer. It's even more unpleasant to go on 1-2 dates with a girl from the gym, get no sex, have her ghost/flake, and then see her again.

If you really like your gym and don't want the hassle of switching gyms or going to a different location of a chain gym like a 24 Hour Fitness or LA Fitness, then hitting on women at your gym might not be the best idea.

It's possible to purchase secondary gym memberships for the purposes of hitting on women. I have done this at various times over the years, mainly in the fitness class facility format. ClassPass is one option where you could go to multiple fitness facilities and take multiple class forms. This will get you in and out with no messiness if a woman you ask out rejects you. Another option is to buy a set of classes instead of a monthly membership from a class based brand. Title Boxing and SoulCycle are examples of brands where you can do this.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

This is good technique discussion. Over the years, these techniques haven't typically been mine, but I think anyone can learn from this. In the gym and in gym fitness class, I tend to have a Mode One type mindset.

I will ask a woman out in the first extended interaction (5 mins+). I don't know if I'll ever see them again.

5 minutes? Ha!

Amateur.



But mad props for gym game. I could learn from you.

@We_ArE_VeNOM tends to run Mode One style game in malls/indoor retail.

Requires mad confidence, bro...which I have.

 

[DeCarlo]

All this talk on how to talk to women is overthinking.
As soon as you open your mouth she assumes you wanna **** her.
Just vibe, fail, get better.
Youll learn the cues and **** unless youre on the spectrum.

Which many eggheads are, but that's another topic.

 

[SW15]

5 minutes? Ha!

Amateur.



But mad props for gym game. I could learn from you.

The reason I have believed in an initial 5 minute conversation is not for actually setting the date and collecting a phone number. It's possible to do that without a 5 minute conversation. The reason I believe in a somewhat extended conversation is to try to prevent first dates that go nowhere. I don't want to have an uncomfortable first date that doesn't lead to a second date, so a 5-15 minute conversation may assess whether there's enough of a good match to put myself in a better position for getting the second date.

Requires mad confidence, bro...which I have.

That's great!

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The reason I have believed in an initial 5 minute conversation is not for actually setting the date and collecting a phone number. It's possible to do that without a 5 minute conversation. The reason I believe in a somewhat extended conversation is to try to prevent first dates that go nowhere. I don't want to have an uncomfortable first date that doesn't lead to a second date, so a 5-15 minute conversation may assess whether there's enough of a good match to put myself in a better position for getting the second date.

You are looking for a long term monogamous relationship, correct?

 

[SW15]

You are looking for a long term monogamous relationship, correct?

Correct. For many years, my goal in dating has been to have some sort of longer term relationship.

If you look at the 9 relationship model paths a man can follow, my preferred path is closet to #6. Most men (blue pill AFCs) follow path #1.

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

Enable Dark Mode Enable Light Mode Get Free Email Updates! Join us for FREE to get instant email updates! -By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to...

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[BackInTheGame78]

Most women don't care how they meet a man if they are sufficiently interested.

 

[SW15]

Most women don't care how they meet a man if they are sufficiently interested.

This is true.

I think the average 24-30 year old woman gets approached in-person less in 2023 as compared to 2013 or 2003. Both day game and night game approaches have fallen off as a result of tech-based methods. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche behavior. Far more men were doing nightlife venue approaching in the past.

 

[I_have_BDE]

This is true.

I think the average 24-30 year old woman gets approached in-person less in 2023 as compared to 2013 or 2003. Both day game and night game approaches have fallen off as a result of tech-based methods. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche behavior. Far more men were doing nightlife venue approaching in the past.

But OLD has gone downhill. Mostly fatties, trannies, and ugly women post covid. Sure women are fatter, but I still see some attractive women out and about and they're obviously not OLD meeting their husbands, boyfriends, They meet via school, friends, work, etc.

If OLD girls were the exact girls IRL I wouldn't want to date anyway. Uggs and fatties.

 

[SW15]

But OLD has gone downhill. Mostly fatties, trannies, and ugly women post covid. Sure women are fatter, but I still see some attractive women out and about and they're obviously not OLD meeting their husbands, boyfriends, They meet via school, friends, work, etc.

If OLD girls were the exact girls IRL I wouldn't want to date anyway. Uggs and fatties.

I haven't been on Tinder in a long time but the last time I was on that app, it was quite bad. Same could be said for the last time I used Hinge. The quality was atrocious and I live in a top tier USA city.

There is some overlap between the swipe app populace of a city and the city's general single populace as talked about earlier in this thread.

When doing in-person approaches, it's possible that you'll be approaching a woman who is single and swipe app user. It's still worth doing that in-person approach.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If she wants to meet “the old fashioned way” she’s pegging you as a provider or friend

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Girls who work as waitresses. baristas, cashiers are low hanging fruit. Easy pickings and eager to meet men the ‘old fashioned way’.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Most of what is discussed is discussed in the quote below is relevant to general gym floor game, which is the more difficult form of game at the gym. I prefer using fitness classes at a gym/fitness facility as a workaround to the earbud problem. Some of this quote can be relevant to outdoor park and outdoor walking/hiking path game as well. In most USA cities, there isn't sufficient foot traffic to run standard street game, so 'street game' takes on the form of outdoor approaching on parks and paths. This is most common in Sun Belt region cities that had a lot of growth post World War II.



It is good that you acknowledged that the earbuds are deterrence. They are. Very few men will be able to break through the earbuds barrier. Even if a man can get her to take off her earbuds for a moment, she's likely to be annoyed that she's doing so. The best way to be successful in breaking through the earbuds barrier is to look like a top tier guy. If you're 6'0"+ man with bigger muscles and look Top 10% level fit, it shouldn't be an issue to break through the earbuds. For everyone else, this will be an issue.

Women wear sexy outfits more so to the gym than to popular outdoor walking/hiking path spots. I've gamed the top outdoor paths in my city and there are sexy outfits there too.



Which time of the day were you going pre-Covid?

Pre-Covid, I was going mainly around 7 PM on weekdays. I was a big evening gym evening. Since Covid hit, my weekday times have been different. I've gone more in the middle of the day on work at home days and some weekday mornings.

What do you think is the best time to go for doing approaches?

When a man utilizes fitness classes, it's usually pre-work times (class start times are typically between 5:30-7 AM) or post work times (class start times between 5:30 PM-7:30 PM).



This is good technique discussion. Over the years, these techniques haven't typically been mine, but I think anyone can learn from this. In the gym and in gym fitness class, I tend to have a Mode One type mindset. I will ask a woman out in the first extended interaction (5 mins+). I don't know if I'll ever see them again. @We_ArE_VeNOM tends to run Mode One style game in malls/indoor retail.



Some of this depends on which gym you go to and if you feel like switching gyms at some point. Bad romantic interactions at a gym have caused people to switch gyms before. It isn't pleasant to go to a gym and see someone who rejected your first date offer. It's even more unpleasant to go on 1-2 dates with a girl from the gym, get no sex, have her ghost/flake, and then see her again.

If you really like your gym and don't want the hassle of switching gyms or going to a different location of a chain gym like a 24 Hour Fitness or LA Fitness, then hitting on women at your gym might not be the best idea.

It's possible to purchase secondary gym memberships for the purposes of hitting on women. I have done this at various times over the years, mainly in the fitness class facility format. ClassPass is one option where you could go to multiple fitness facilities and take multiple class forms. This will get you in and out with no messiness if a woman you ask out rejects you. Another option is to buy a set of classes instead of a monthly membership from a class based brand. Title Boxing and SoulCycle are examples of brands where you can do this.

I hooked up with a girl from my gym after I approached her back in April. This was only after she was massively checking me out (I'm usually completely oblivious to this).

She was my first proper IRL approach in years.

 

[IKO69]

Most of what is discussed is discussed in the quote below is relevant to general gym floor game, which is the more difficult form of game at the gym. I prefer using fitness classes at a gym/fitness facility as a workaround to the earbud problem. Some of this quote can be relevant to outdoor park and outdoor walking/hiking path game as well. In most USA cities, there isn't sufficient foot traffic to run standard street game, so 'street game' takes on the form of outdoor approaching on parks and paths. This is most common in Sun Belt region cities that had a lot of growth post World War II.



It is good that you acknowledged that the earbuds are deterrence. They are. Very few men will be able to break through the earbuds barrier. Even if a man can get her to take off her earbuds for a moment, she's likely to be annoyed that she's doing so. The best way to be successful in breaking through the earbuds barrier is to look like a top tier guy. If you're 6'0"+ man with bigger muscles and look Top 10% level fit, it shouldn't be an issue to break through the earbuds. For everyone else, this will be an issue.

Women wear sexy outfits more so to the gym than to popular outdoor walking/hiking path spots. I've gamed the top outdoor paths in my city and there are sexy outfits there too.



Which time of the day were you going pre-Covid?

Pre-Covid, I was going mainly around 7 PM on weekdays. I was a big evening gym evening. Since Covid hit, my weekday times have been different. I've gone more in the middle of the day on work at home days and some weekday mornings.

What do you think is the best time to go for doing approaches?

When a man utilizes fitness classes, it's usually pre-work times (class start times are typically between 5:30-7 AM) or post work times (class start times between 5:30 PM-7:30 PM).


This is good technique discussion. Over the years, these techniques haven't typically been mine, but I think anyone can learn from this. In the gym and in gym fitness class, I tend to have a Mode One type mindset. I will ask a woman out in the first extended interaction (5 mins+). I don't know if I'll ever see them again. @We_ArE_VeNOM tends to run Mode One style game in malls/indoor retail.

Some of this depends on which gym you go to and if you feel like switching gyms at some point. Bad romantic interactions at a gym have caused people to switch gyms before. It isn't pleasant to go to a gym and see someone who rejected your first date offer. It's even more unpleasant to go on 1-2 dates with a girl from the gym, get no sex, have her ghost/flake, and then see her again.

If you really like your gym and don't want the hassle of switching gyms or going to a different location of a chain gym like a 24 Hour Fitness or LA Fitness, then hitting on women at your gym might not be the best idea.

It's possible to purchase secondary gym memberships for the purposes of hitting on women. I have done this at various times over the years, mainly in the fitness class facility format. ClassPass is one option where you could go to multiple fitness facilities and take multiple class forms. This will get you in and out with no messiness if a woman you ask out rejects you. Another option is to buy a set of classes instead of a monthly membership from a class based brand. Title Boxing and SoulCycle are examples of brands where you can do this.

Hey, I always went to the gym before work, so I attended very early in the day. I still keep this routine; it's almost 6 AM now and i'm shortly going to get a cardio workout in. When I was a gym goer I would also sometimes go on the weekends and that was more later in the day.

Honestly the time of day for approaches didn't really seem to matter because by the time I did it I had already been fairly acquainted with the people (as in I had already seen them around for a time, worked out next to them - in short they recognized me as being a regular). I'd say later in the day is better though, especially with the working crowd. Sometimes the person will be stressed, consumed by something work related, maybe in bad mood (bad night sleep) or just plain want to crush their workout. Likely more relaxed if you catch them later in the day.

What is mode one? I am unfamiliar with it but sounds like a very direct approach - yes I would say one of the key ingredients is you have to own the approach. Commit and follow through - look to make small talk a couple of times before you go for the knockout shot.

A lot of women will have "gym crushes". Why not get the ball rolling and try to make their dream come true

 

[SW15]

Girls who work as waitresses. baristas, cashiers are low hanging fruit. Easy pickings and eager to meet men the ‘old fashioned way’.

I agree with this. It is generally best if you can meet these women outside of work.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

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What is mode one? I am unfamiliar with it but sounds like a very direct approach - yes I would say one of the key ingredients is you have to own the approach. Commit and follow through - look to make small talk a couple of times before you go for the knockout shot.

Mode One was an approach style defined by Alan Roger Currie in his 2006 book "Mode One".

Mode One approaches are very direct approaches and exhibit sexual intention right away. @We_ArE_VeNOM is the biggest proponent of the Mode One approach on this forum and can take more this question in more detail.

I'd say later in the day is better though, especially with the working crowd. Sometimes the person will be stressed, consumed by something work related, maybe in bad mood (bad night sleep) or just plain want to crush their workout. Likely more relaxed if you catch them later in the day.

I have always wondered if doing gym or fitness class approaches on weekdays better early in the day (pre-8 AM) or better later in the day (post-5 PM). I have perceived that post-5 PM would be better for most people with daytime jobs trying to seduce women with daytime jobs. It is good to see some confirmation of this from another seducer.

The middle of the day at the gym might be excellent for finding service industry type women like sexy bartenders or strippers. They work late into nights so they aren't going to be at the gym early in the AM. In recent years, some of the work-at-home white collar crowd is now slipping into mid-days at the gym.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

Here in NYC the major OLD apps are full of hot women like Tinder and Bumble but good luck getting any matches.

OKCupid is in the middle

The minor apps like Facebook dating and Hinge are full of women that would embarrass you to be seen with in public, however you'll get some matches.

It's best to meet women anywhere you interact with women in real life. I meet 90% of women through working customer facing jobs in high volume areas plus being friendly with my coworkers. The remaining 10% are from going clubbing on holidays.

dont only old poeple use ok cupid

 

[BergischerLöwe]

dont only old poeple use ok cupid

I think it's mostly young people but OKCupid sucks