"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Are we realistic? SHould we be?

everywomanshero

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Self-Serving Bias means that when things go well we attribute the good results to ourselves. When things go bad, we attribute them to external sources. It's not always bad, sometimes it helps prevent us from getting discouraged. I know I've used it quite successfully at times.

But there's a very negative extension of this:

Self_Handicapping: A precreated excuse for why it wouldn't be your fault if things didn't go well. This serves to save one's self-esteem, but often becomes a self-fuffiling prophecy.

EX. In my spanish class everyone already knows spanish. Therefore, the reason I might not do good is because of THAT. Effect: I am not going to bother studying because everyone else int eh class has it easier than me. Person ends up failing the class.

OR in our case: She's a *****, I can just tell it, if I get blown out it's because she's a *****. Goes in thinking she's a *****. Lo and behold, his mannerisms and such are off, and she acts like a *****. He knew it all along, and the only reason he got shot down is because she's a b1tch. If by some miracle it worked, a double bonus.. he succeeded even THOUGH she was a *****. This also applied to not wanting to look bad infront of wings, may cause one to approach the "sets" they feel will be seen as "difficult" and pass up the women they actually want to talk to (but hey diversity can be a good thing and lead to new revelations, can be good and bad both).

Something to be aware of.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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God_of_getting_layed

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you seem like a psych major, are you?
 

everywomanshero

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I have a minor in psych. I actually thought all those people were looney until I had to come face to face with the empirical evidence. Now, I realize that the TV "psychs" are often about as a honest as TV preachers.... many of which (ex. John Grey) do not hold degrees from accredited Universities.

In short, I don't trust anything that can be picked up at the local self-help ile :) (not to say it isn't useful, but in general those things tend to be a of questionable credibility). Most Universities have a searchable database on can access to find valid (credible) documents. I think the APA has something similar, although I am not as famaliar with it.
 
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