"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Are the movies OK for a date witha girl I've known for a while?

J

JCKey618

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I go to this program every week and this girl I know is in it. We have been friends for about 8 months now (but I have never talked on the phone with her or her with me until this week and that was to set up our date this weekend) and we only see eachother that one day out of the week, so even though I consider her a friend, I think I am far away from the dreaded 'friend zone.'

Anyway, she had had a boyfriend for a while and me a girlfriend, but we are both single now and I asked her last week to go out with me this weekend. She blushed real hard and said yeah. The plan was for me to go over her house tomorrow and then we decide what to do from there. Porbably movies.

She called me last night and told me that her family has this pre-mother's day lunch thing on saturday and if I wanted to come (since she has to go). I said sure.

Ok, so, what do I do after that? We'll still have time to go out. I think this girl is really feeling me and I want to atleast get to kissing. But I heard a movie is not a good place to have a first date because there isn't much talking, but since I already kinda know her, does it still apply?

Also, what's the rules with kissing on the first date? Cus in the past two weeks I've kissed three girls within a day or two of meeting them (one within a few hours) and all only an hour or two after starting to talk to them. But is this different?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Q

Qualtran

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Sounds like you've got a lot in your favor going into this date, good work!

I never think a movie is a good first date idea with a girl I haven't talked to much before, but in your case since you already have known this girl for quite a while a movie would be ok... but, I would reccomend doing something a bit more interactive.

As for the kiss, if the date goes well and shes giving you the right signs, then at any point during the date it seems like a good moment, go for it!
 
J

JCKey618

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Yeah, I don't know exactly how to go for the kiss, it always just happens. Usually, I think it starts off as subtle signs between me and the other that we lare getting intimate. Like, if I brush her hand and she doesn't move it, then i keep the hand there, move my fingers a little and eventually we start holding hands. After holding hands, I think I just go for the kiss whenever we are looking at eachother.
 
Q

Qualtran

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Sounds like you know how to go for the kiss just fine!

I was friends with the girl I'm seeing right now for quite a few months before we hooked up, and the way things happened the first time was we started cuddling, i touched her hair, the back of her neck, and she seemed into it so I just went for the kiss and it was awesome.

Just remember that you will regret not going for a kiss if things feel right a lot more than not trying at all!
 
J

JCKey618

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Yeah, I was just wondering if the movies is an ok place to go for it.

Also, I had asked if she wanted to go out to eat but she said she'd be too embarrassed..... Giirls are weird.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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W

wind20mph

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Movies just fine. you can have a lot of discussion after. good work!
 
J

JCKey618

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Bad news. I guess I picked a bad weekend (Mother's Day weekend) to go out because the girl told me last night that her father wants the family to go visit his mom in VA today. She said "I'm sorry babe" and I said it was cool and she said "No, I really wanted to see you today."

I said there's nothing we can do unless she gets back at a good time. She then said they are staying until tomorrow and she said again 'I did really want to see you."

Atleast I know she's not just making up some lame excuse. I KNOW she likes me. But it really does suck when you plan something for a little while and then find out you can't do it that same day. Now I'm left with no plans on a Saturday!!!!

Hopefully her interest level will still be the same by next weekend.
 
J

JCKey618

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That's just the thing man, it's a little late to just call up a girl to go out. Isn't asking a girl out the same day kinda AFC? Shows I have nothing to do.

Anyway, I could go out with my ex but I don't want to. There's this other girl that has really like me since 9th grade, but I don't feel like being bothered by her either (if we went out, she'd get soooo clingy so fast, i know it) And my other female friends have boyfriends.... This other girl I'm talking to lives in LA.

I have no plans because up until an hour ago I thought I was doing something with the first girl.

Maybe I'll ask Courtney (guy friend) if he wants to hang.
 
A

AIR-PILOT

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Well you don't need to go to the movies...
Go out and find new girls..bar/lounge or something. I know how your feeling, you want this girl at the moment, but you need to get out of that mindset and look for other options.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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A

AIR-PILOT

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Hmmm....Where do 17 year olds hang out? Just the movies? Movies is never a good date anyway, you want to have a one on one and a movie theater isn't the place.
 
L

libre

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Movie is great

I don't agree. A movie is great. You don't look desperate and it both leaves you some room to gage each other. It gives her the choice to come to you progressively, like a deer to which you are holding an apple non menacingly. Take your time if you do not want to be perceived rude or anxious. If she can't make it this time, no sweat.
 
J

JCKey618

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Yeah, she's in virginia now. Next weekend we'll do it. She seemed real upset that we couldn't meet today.

I might have to think of a few ways she can make it up to me..... :cool:

Haha, just kidding. Atleast not on the first date....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

J

JCKey618

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Yeah. And the girl that I was supposed to go out with today is named Morgan (my brother is named Morgan too!!!)

But, trust, she's atleast a 9.
 
J

JCKey618

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OK, NEW QUESTION!!!!

Should I ask her to prom? My prom is May 27th and I broke up with my girlfriend about 3 weeks ago and haven't really looked for a prom date since then. This girl I'm talking to now really seems to like me and I'm pretty confident that we are going to become more serious. But how serious do you have to be to ask someone to prom?

BTW, she's a junior at another school, but she knows a few people oin my senior class. Really, whether she would go or not is not really an issue. I'm wondering if it is too late to ask her. Prom is in just under 3 weeks away....
 
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