Are the EXACT words all that important?

[michelangelo]

I have read a few things around here that seem somewhat in conflict with one another. What do you guys think?

Does it really matter so much the exact words you use when asking a chick for her number or for a date?

Some people here say "Oh, don't say, 'Why don't you give me your number?' or 'Would you like to go out Saturday?' because then she can say no. You have to phrase it 'this way' or 'that way' so she can only choose yes."

At first I liked that idea. AHA! Through creative and deceptive language, I can cause this girl who was about to reject me to instead like me and fork it over.

Come on, is she really so stupid that if she has low interest in you, but you phrase it differently, she will be "tricked" into seeing you?

In other words, if the girl does not have interest in me, what difference does it make how I ask her for her number? She has low interest. End of story.

And if she DOES like me (which she better if she has any sense), then she is going to be ready to give it to me, regardless of where I place the adverbs and prepositions.

Comments invited, please.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

You're right. If the girl is sufficiently interested, she'll say yes regardless of what you say.

I think the advice on how to say things is to sand out the rough points in your method, make you smooth, and maximize your natural attractiveness. Leaving one or two things out or making a mistake on these little things doesn't tank the entire relationship because your success doesn't depend on doing any ONE single thing.

From the more important point of view, you shouldn't talk in a supplicating or self-devaluing manner to anyone if you have any self respect. We shouldn't live in fear and we shouldn't devalue ourselves. So correcting your mannerisms is important for your own self image.

 

[samtheman]

"I need to get going, let me have your number" works well.

AlwaysExcel is right, if the girl is interested it doesn't matter much what you say.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by samtheman
if the girl is interested it doesn't matter much what you say.

need I say more

 

[blienk]

It's true that by the time you ask for the number, her mind is 99.9% made up on whether or not you'll get it. The idea behind the certain phrasing is simply to help you feel and sound more confident in your request. But it's certainly not one of the more important aspects of the approach.

 

[Ebach]

Everything is timing. You gotta know when to ask for the number. Also, you have to create opportunities that let you ask for the number. It gets easier with practice.