You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I actually think they're more afraid of reality, women are fantasy, if you play it right.
Interesting! I had this same conversation with a female friend. We're both here in Seattle area. And she said the same thing as your friend. This conversation started because I said a lot of men in Seattle are very wussy. I've been in settings where the men just seem like caged animals who look at me with some skeptical and bitter look if I am near them and their women acquaintences are near.
I agree with Who Dares Win. In every distinct geographic setting, men (as well as women) have a certain "collective experience", if you will. This experience can be personal, second-hand (i.e. experience passed on by other men) or a combination of both. If it is the "collective experience" of men in Seattle (a very liberal town) that approaching women is not a good idea (either because women are generally not receptive or because there is a high risk of being accused of sexual harassment), then they will be less likely to approach.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.