Are Nice Guys really nice?

[Bvbidd]

Are they?

Should they not realize girls dont like them for who they are and respect the girl's feelings even if they never get a girl in their lives?

Is it selfish to want love?

I'm just wondering to how I thought a couple of years ago.. and this may be true. Was I actually nice? Or being selfish?

 

[cyp6]

hell no.. nice guys are not really nice.. actully yes they are... they wanna be that her hero.. but dont know how to do it the right way with out coming off as a looser... turst me... i was a nice guy once... i had the same feeelings as you did back in the days.

 

[Bvbidd]

So.. they are nice people but are selfish in the fact they come off as a loser (no girl wants a loser) even though it was never their fault in the first place. Basically hell for no reason.

Wow.. that's pretty fvcking depressing.

 

[cyp6]

yes!!!!!!!!!! haha good thing your not a nice guy any more.. hahah.
rock on

 

[Bvbidd]

I'm way better then I was a couple of years ago.. but haha that's retarded.. girl's should be able to see that.

 

[OBSYDYN]

I used to be a nice guy, deep down though I was selfish.

When I was a nice guy, "friend zone" was my middle name.

 

[Delta]

nice can be a cover. it can be manipulation in disguise.

you try to be so nice that no one is allowed to dislike you. in a sense, they come to "owe" you.

and behind it all is not necessarily the interest of the well being of others but FEAR and self centeredness... and in the end, it is all quid pro quo so that others will be nice to you.

fear and self centeredness = not truly, altruistically, nice.

delta

 

[The Juan and only]

nice can be a cover. it can be manipulation in disguise.

you try to be so nice that no one is allowed to dislike you. in a sense, they come to "owe" you.

and behind it all is not necessarily the interest of the well being of others but FEAR and self centeredness... and in the end, it is all quid pro quo so that others will be nice to you.

fear and self centeredness = not truly, altruistically, nice.

delta

I have a friend just like that. The "I'll always do absolutely anything I can to help you", "i'll always be there for you", "i'll never ever let you down, pretty girl". "NOW WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME? WAAA"

I also completely agree with the fear comment. Some people really are terribly afraid that others will dislike them. Now I know it's not the best thing in the world to know you're disliked, but it's not something you try to avoid at the cost of your identity.

I've tried talking to him but to no avail.

 

[vorbis]

what you're describing is needy manipulative guys. I know plenty of guys who are nice guys and most of them have attractive gfs. I've been called genuinely nice before by a chick I was going out with. The problem for most nice guys lies in not been flirty and sexual enough. A confident sexual nice guy will attract as much women as a bad boy any day.

edit: just to add, most actual nice guys would NEVER describe themselves as nice!

 

[Wannabeplayer]

Back to the original post, I would suggest you ring the guy who gave you his number. This guy genuinely wants to help you, it will cost him time and money do yourself a favour and take him up on his offer, you rarely ever get kindness like that man