Are men hypergamous?

[Snag87]

I often hear the claim "both men and women are hygergamous and desire the best mate possible."

I disagree completely. As a man with knowledge of female nature, I desire a woman who has lower SMV than I for a long-term relationship. I know that on a biological level women are most satisfied with a partner who they admire and is "better" than they are. How can a women form a loving, stable relationship with a man whose SMV is at parity or lower than hers?

I actually hold the opinion that the primary purpose of this obviously false claim is to deflect responsibility from women. It's well-known that women are reluctant to admit the negative aspects of their sexual selection. Therefore, if all are hypergamous, women are absolved.

P.S, I'd also add that in the current sexual climate the gap for maintaining a stable relationship has increased. 30 years ago, 1 or 2 points may have been sufficient. Now I believe it's 2 to 3, possibly even 4.

 

[Zimbabwe]

For starters, average men aren't that picky with women as people make it seem. The average guy considers a decent weight to automatically hover a girl around a 6 or 7. Even if they deny that, usually a girl changes very simple things and suddenly guys love them. That's why oftentimes a girl considered a dork, gawky, nerdy, etc. is suddenly like a model the minute hair gets longer and straighter, glasses are gone, clothes change to lingerie, maybe a bit of makeup added, but weight stays average.

Seriously, looking decent as a girl to the average guy isn't that much a challenge, as guys are often conditioned from day 1 to put girls on a pedestal.

That being said, women have a different story and stats back it up. (https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a ) They judge guys' looks far harsher, so until their own looks are fading, they only go for about 20% of guys. Once they "hit the wall" on looks, suddenly, a guy should still date them?

 

[Snag87]

For starters, average men aren't that picky with women as people make it seem. The average guy considers a decent weight to automatically hover a girl around a 6 or 7. Even if they deny that, usually a girl changes very simple things and suddenly guys love them. That's why oftentimes a girl considered a dork, gawky, nerdy, etc. is suddenly like a model the minute hair gets longer and straighter, glasses are gone, clothes change to lingerie, maybe a bit of makeup added, but weight stays average.

Seriously, looking decent as a girl to the average guy isn't that much a challenge, as guys are often conditioned from day 1 to put girls on a pedestal.

That being said, women have a different story and stats back it up. (https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a ) They judge guys' looks far harsher, so until their own looks are fading, they only go for about 20% of guys. Once they "hit the wall" on looks, suddenly, a guy should still date them?

Correct, men are biologically hardwired to find the overwhelming majority of women in their peak child-bearing years attractive. This doesn't quite bear out in the current marketplace due to the obesity epidemic. However, if a girl isn't overweight or obese, between the ages of 19-24 and presents herself in a feminine manner, how often do men not find her attractive?

 

[bat soup]

Most men couldn't care less how much women earn. Who's going to turn down sex with a hot girl just because she works at McDonald's? We all know that the reverse isn't true.

 

[samspade]

Can't speak for everyone but I'll go for the most attractive I can get. Attractive for me encompasses not just looks but personality, smarts, and other attributes (all depending on where it's going - ONS obviously I'm going more for looks). I'm willing to move up or down on looks if she's different from what I've had, because I like variety.

I don't pay mind to if she's "higher SMV" than me - we're different genders so it's not really relevant. If she wants you, who cares. When game geeks talk about female hypergamy they're usually referring to her getting the best mate she can, period. I'm no different.

 

[buddhafukko]

I think the highest quality men tend to be faithful after obtaining the best possible mate.
Hypergamy isn't a fundamental aspect of male nature like it is female nature.
The term has become derogatory by it's association with female nature in EP.
But essentially everyone is looking for the best they can get, and should be.
The feeling of love is basically your psyche indicating that your are over rewarded by someone with much higher SMV.