Are girls worth spending the money on in the early stages?

[thatfeel]

Let's say you're on your third date or whatever. The first was a really awesome meet up at a bar, she covered my tab no questions asked. Second date was fine, dinner and a movie, typical but it's a week day and I work. I got dinner she got the movie.

The third date I'm really contemplating something "special". I read the Heartiste blog every now and then and remember a key phrase "don't buy her things, buy her experiences". I know she likes live performances and music so I'm looking at some of the events in Houston that we could go to like the live symphony or a really cool restaurant that puts on shows in the venue while you dine(Prohibition supperclub). If either of those fell through in my head I was thinking Fogo de Chao which is like 100 bucks for 2 people...also, yesterday was my birthday, so I just think it would be fun to do something a bit different for a change.

What do you guys think? Going from relatively cheap to pretty pricey in the span of 3 dates?

 

[dustmuffin]

I think you should continue with the splitting of costs. Women invest in a man this way. I don't know about the pricey date, but maybe she could buy your ticket as a birthday present? It is never a good idea to foot the bill always.

 

[bigneil]

"The man should pay for the date."
- Louis/Copeland 2000

"Get a job."
- bigneil 2015

 

[Dhoulmagus]

No not really because they are completely unpredictable and can do a complete 180 without warning earlier in the relationship.

 

[Tictac]

Go do things you want to do - a restaurant you want to try or go back to, a movie or performance you want to see, a hike you have set. And ask her if she wants to go. If you spend money on her for stuff like that it's no big deal.

She's already been pitching in. Don't be a chintz.

 

[Maximus Rex]

The first was a really awesome meet up at a bar, she covered my tab no questions asked.

Second date was fine, dinner and a movie, typical but it's a week day and I work. I got dinner she got the movie.

You got real lucky on the played out and trite, "dinner and movie." As many people on this site will tell you, dinners and movies should be reserved for LTRs, not chicks that you have just met.

The third date I'm really contemplating something "special".

Unless this chick has cooked you

Put on a load of clothes for you, ironed that load clothes, (including your draws,) put the clothes away, took in your dry cleaning, bought you

And plans on ending the evening with you, her, and two of her friends in

only then should you begin to consider doing something "special," for her. As Harry Willimington will tell you, "special," stuff is reserved for the girlfriend. If you want to do something special for a female, do it for somebody that will appreciate it, namely your mother or your granny.

I know she likes live performances and music so I'm looking at some of the events in Houston

Houston is the fourth largest city in American and the largest city in the great state of Texas. I'm pretty sure that a quick Google search would reveal a gang of either free or hella cheap concerts to go to.

that we could go to like the live symphony or a really cool restaurant that puts on shows in the venue while you dine(Prohibition supperclub).

I was thinking Fogo de Chao which is like 100 bucks for 2 people...

Naw mayne.

What do you guys think? Going from relatively cheap to pretty pricey in the span of 3 dates?

Rex thinks that you're setting up not only a very bad precedent, but also, (and more importantly,) you're putting yourself into a trick bag. Tom Leykis says that you shouldn't do things in the beginning in the relationship that you shouldn't or won't be doing during the course or at the end of the relationship. Also, at this pace, ole girl is enviably going to be having this conversation with one of her girlfriends.

Besides, you have to ask yourself, what is the end goal to doing all of this. It's of course to get some p*ssy, and don't fool yourself because you don't even know enough about this girl to even be considering a relationship with her. In the beginning, keep her expectations low and get her liking your for the man you are, not for all of the fly places you're taking her to and all of the money that you're spending.

 

[thatfeel]

Duuuude, maximus rex, solid ass post finally lol. Agree with you completely.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Something like an expensive concert or extremely expensive restaurants, vacations, etc.... all of these are "big events," and, in my opinion, should be reserved for when she actually becomes the girlfriend. In short: she needs to EARN those experiences. I went on a first date with a girl once where she talked about how much she loved Disney on Ice. Lo and behold: it just so happened about 2 weeks later that Disney on Ice was coming to near where our college was. So, I surprised her by getting some expensive seats to go see this ice show. The result? As happy as I thought she'd be, she wasn't overly excited to go, and wouldn't even kiss me at the end of the date. All I could think about was all the money I wasted on this experience that I just KNEW she'd want... but again: too soon. Anything big you do in the beginning can make a girl feel like you're trying to buy her affection (i.e. making her feel like a prostitute); on the other hand, if you wait til she's the girlfriend and you celebrate by doing something big, she won't feel as weird about it. Hope this helps!

 

[thatfeel]

Yes it does, thanks everyone.

As an aside, I take it the rep system is gone? I guess the equivalent in XenForo is the like system(as least it's kind of like that on forums.servethehome.com).

 

[usernamedox11]

it depends, american girls, wait. If it's a girl from an eastern country, different story. An eastern will take it as a sign you want her to be your girlfriend and that you take her seriously.

 

[GS750]

I don't mind spending money on meals, drinks, movies, etc. in the early stages. Expensive stuff like trips, overpriced theme parks, etc. can wait until I know if there's going to be a future.

 

[bigneil]

You can take them on a trip as soon as they are ready to go on a trip. But never take women who don't have high interest on vacations. Also, there are no women in Houston so you better spoil her.