"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Are fat chicks easier to game?

AlphaNate

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Depends more on you, I think. I have no interest in fat girls, so I don't become game when around them and have an easier time with hotties, since they fulfill my desires.

If you're hot for fatties, do your thing.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SgtSplacker

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I prefer huge breasts on a woman, and usually that means shes a little chubby. Don't see the point of dating a chub with small breasts.
 

Billtx49

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Hey guys, didn't get the memo? According to the PC crowd we should only call them 'Curvy' this century…
 
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xstang77

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I'm here for the comments..lol
This is getting good, op some are some aren't,there generally the same self entitled pieces of shet as the rest of the female population.
 
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