Are all girls without fathers screwed up?

[st_99]

When I say all I'm obviously being a little over dramatic but
from what I've seen so far, this is a GIGANTIC red flag.

Most recent example:

There is this girl I got to know through a friend and we hooked up
a couple times. I never really had much interest in her but just kind
of thought of her as a nice, kind of shy, a little nerdy, fairly cute
girl. She is well educated and was just very sweet to me.

Before I banged her she did a nice job of not coming off slutty,
resisting my sexual advances (which i found to be good thing), just
nice and good to me. I never really followed up with it in terms of
trying to go out on dates and what not and just chilled back to see if anything progressed slowly..


WELL, the other day I found out that she is a straight up conniving,
dirty, bottom of the barrel, total bottom feeder, no self respect at ALL, ho.

She bangs this one guy a few days ago (drunk bar thing), then invites him over for a get together with some friends, he's all like in love,
they hold hands for a bit. he leaves late night and she proceeds to bang some other dude!!!

I honestly was floored by her behavior, I'm really not writing this from
a jealousy stand point at all. These guys were so beneath me in every way its kind of funny actually.


I was just really really really surprised at her behavior. I was taken
back like whoa! That did not just happen. The word to describe what
I felt was disappointed. I just had this feeling like, damn, I cannot
believe how wrong I had her read. I really cannot believe it.

 

[Warrior74]

I wouldn't say all of them. But I will tell you this, if a woman says she hates her father. Run. Run as fast as you can.

 

[betheman]

even girls with good fathers are capable of this stunt

 

[squirrels]

A lot of how a woman (any person, really, but women especially) expects a relationship to work is based on what she sees at home.

Lots of girls without fathers in their lives are either poisoned against men (mom goes on about how much of a deadbeat loser dad was) or have problems with attachment (they see mom "playing the field" and never really form an image of what a man SHOULD be).

This doesn't necessarily apply to women whose parents are divorced, but still have good relationships with both parents. However, the nature of the break-up can affect the girl greatly as well. I was dating a girl once who told me maybe 3-4 dates in that her parents had a messy divorce and one would play her against the other. She had all kinds of psychosomatic/depression issues...but seemed strong-willed enough that I THOUGHT she might be pulling through it. Turned out that wasn't the case, so she eventually had to go. Dealt with her for a long time, though, because I didn't have the heart to blow her off outright and couldn't get her to go away.

 

[Paintballguy]

I wouldn't say all of them. But I will tell you this, if a woman says she hates her father. Run. Run as fast as you can.

+1000

Learned this the hard way.

 

[betheman]

I wouldn't say all of them. But I will tell you this, if a woman says she hates her father. Run. Run as fast as you can.

why? not that Im doubting it, my last LTR realy didnt like her dad or at least had little if anything good to say about him...( real dj by the way)
just curious to hear your rationale?

 

[Die Hard]

So how was your LTR with her, Betheman?

 

[betheman]

So how was your LTR with her, Betheman?

some really good times interspersed with periods of severe head****ing!
ive never doubted my sanity as I have done since her, all the rules/norms seems to have gone out of the window!

is that always the case though?

 

[Die Hard]

Well, you asked us why one should run away as fast as he can, if she says she hates her father. Your latest post gives a clear answer to your own question! They're fukked up and will mindfukk you.

Of course every rule has it's exception but 9 out of 10 times, this will be the case.

 

[5string]

OP might want to research personality disorders (HPD,BPD,NPD). Lots of threads on SS about them.

 

[Kailex]

why? not that Im doubting it, my last LTR realy didnt like her dad or at least had little if anything good to say about him...( real dj by the way)
just curious to hear your rationale?

She'll eventually transfer those emotions from her father... to you.
Specially if you decide you want to start telling her what to do, how to do it, when to do it.

More than likely, you are going to swim up creek with that one.

But absolutism is not a part of my being, so as Warrior says: Not all of them.
You can't say "All" or "None"... but the curve does seem to slant towards the "Run" side of the spectrum.

 

[st_99]

OP might want to research personality disorders (HPD,BPD,NPD). Lots of threads on SS about them.

I'm no psychologist and I really hate to label girls like this at the risk
of trying to find some root cause but yeah, I would next to guarantee
this chick has some form of BPD.

I know that girls aren't these perfect creatures but what I saw go
down that night just wasn't right. In my head I kept thinking, damn girl,
have you no self respect at all? Not even an ounce? And the next
morning to act completely casual about it. I mean, sorry, that's just
not normal.

This other poor schmuck is probably home thinking about her and
how he can't wait to see her again.

 

[5string]

I'm no psychologist and I really hate to label girls like this at the risk
of trying to find some root cause but yeah, I would next to guarantee
this chick has some form of BPD.

I know that girls aren't these perfect creatures but what I saw go
down that night just wasn't right. In my head I kept thinking, damn girl,
have you no self respect at all? Not even an ounce? And the next
morning to act completely causal about it. I mean, sorry, that's just
not normal.

Hear ya.

I'm not trying to DX either, however, you stated she has daddy issues and tends to be promiscuous. This is very common in personality disorders. You know her better than we do. See if you think there is any correlation.

 

[jophil28]

There is this girl I got to know through a friend and we hooked up
a couple times. I never really had much interest in her but just kind
of thought of her as a nice, kind of shy, a little nerdy, fairly cute
girl. She is well educated and was just very sweet to me.

That is a contrived presentation frequently adopted by the BPD Waif.
IF you ever have the misfortune to become involved with one, your sanity will be tested daily, your beliefs in your powers of evaluation will be mostly destroyed, and your faith in the essential goodness of human nature will be shaken to the foundations.
Incongruent, self destructive behavior sums up BPD Waif behavior , and it will spash all over you daily if you stay around.

The slvtty, or promiscuious, behavior of BPD waifs has its origins in "Daddy issues" .... Drunk Dad, Absent Dad, Divorced Dad, Cheating Dad, Incestuous Dad, Abusive Dad, Cold and Callous Dad.... the list goes on.

Unfortunately these 'demure' BPD creatures are initially attractive in their vulnerability and their uber sweetness.

WHite Khights and BPD Waifs find each other as if by destiny, and then the 'death dance' of your soul and her's begins.

 

[Warrior74]

why? not that Im doubting it, my last LTR realy didnt like her dad or at least had little if anything good to say about him...( real dj by the way)
just curious to hear your rationale?

I can only speak from my personal experience. When I have heard those words, they are usually followed harsh words about any boyfriend and men in general. The women I have known and dated, they can't stand being told what to do, they try to dominate, but won't respect you if you don't dominate them. Again, just my experience. And they were all hypersensitive to any percieved criticism but very quick to dole it out. In fact, when I got fed up and insulted them and treated them like crap, they started to act better. Being nice to them is like putting blood in the water.

 

[st_99]

Incongruent,

This word sums it up very nicely. That is why you're left scratching your
head. The presentation did not match reality at all. There are the obvious
sluts that present themselves as such and then you have the BPD types I
guess, the ones that leave you saying.... no way, that did not just happen. :crazy:

 

[st_99]

That is a contrived presentation frequently adopted by the BPD Waif.
IF you ever have the misfortune to become involved with one, your sanity will be tested daily, your beliefs in your powers of evaluation will be mostly destroyed, and your faith in the essential goodness of human nature will be shaken to the foundations.
Incongruent, self destructive behavior sums up BPD Waif behavior , and it will spash all over you daily if you stay around.

The slvtty, or promiscuious, behavior of BPD waifs has its origins in "Daddy issues" .... Drunk Dad, Absent Dad, Divorced Dad, Cheating Dad, Incestuous Dad, Abusive Dad, Cold and Callous Dad.... the list goes on.

Unfortunately these 'demure' BPD creatures are initially attractive in their vulnerability and their uber sweetness.

WHite Khights and BPD Waifs find each other as if by destiny, and then the 'death dance' of your soul and her's begins.

You know whats funny, the other day I was hanging out with her and
her friends and she started mirroring me big time as if to show unity
and cohesion. She never did this before. At the time, I took it as actual interest.

Now that I think about it, it was a setup! hahaha Trying to pretend
interest in the last minute knowing she was ready to unleash a couple poor guys in
front of my face.

Had this been 5 or so years ago, I probably would have taken this a bit hard and
had been confused and wondered what I did or didn't do right, etc. But being
a lot wiser its laughable, and I actually feel sorry for her. I feel disappointment in
the fact that this is probably more common than the statistics will tell you.

 

[jophil28]

You know whats funny, the other day I was hanging out with her and
her friends and she started mirroring me big time as if to show unity
and cohesion. She never did this before. At the time, I took it as actual interest.

.

The conjob began in earnest and it succeeded -> " I took it as actual interest."

 

[st_99]

The conjob began in earnest and it succeeded -> " I took it as actual interest."

Tell me about it, they probably are so good at this because they've
had tons of practice.

 

[jophil28]

Tell me about it, they probably are so good at this because they've
had tons of practice.

Indeed, a lifetime of Academy Award winning emotional manipulation.
And after all that practise and fine tuning it follows that they will be experts at their craft.

One of the most essential skills of the con-artist is to make deception and duplicity appear to be a sincere presentation.

Unfortunately we never see it coming when it happens the first time .