Are all decent looking women truly the same?

[DoItAgain]

Last year, I thought I had found an exception. She was an 8 or better on the 10 scale...didn't care about fashion or trends...wasn't a partier or club-goer...was a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl...if she cared about her appearance, she could easily be a 9 or 10. She seemed to "understand men." Like we'd fool around and she'd say "Are you happy you got to play with my boobs?" I could talk to her about anything and she wasn't judgmental.

However, as soon as she lost interest, she turned into a typical woman. Wanting to be friends and hang out, then getting mad when we hung out and I tried to kiss her...playing the ignore game on the phone hoping I'd get the hint...being cold and rude in general when we did talk...all of the sure-tale signs.

Also, last time I checked, was happily on speaking terms with her ex who stole 4,000 dollars from her atm account for drug money. (You might be thinking he's a bad boy, but she said he was extremely needy, couldn't get it up due to the anti-depressants he was on, they hadn't had sex in over a year, and he wanted to be around her 24/7 and smothered her...he stole the money out of depression to feed his addiction. But the fact remains...he mistreated her and she was still obviously in love with him, which is a good part of the reason I never got a fair shake (I made some mistakes, too.)

So are all decent looking women at the core pretty much the same even if they aren't the trend-following type?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Unfortunately, the older they get, the more they act like men and begin to make sense to us.

When they are young and we want to screw them, they are stupid and usually cause more trouble than they're worth.

 

[f283000]

You have to understand 1 basic fact of life.

Beautiful women are used to being treated nice and being put on a pedestal all their life by nice guys. They are used to guys making things perfect for them.

So why would she go for a loser that stole money from her and not you? Because he made her feel a whole range of different emotions than you did. You probably made her feel like every other guy in the world would try to make a beautiful woman feel.

Us average guys are trying to make women happy while a**holes and jerks don't give a damn. And that's the difference they make women feel a different range of emotions than we do.

 

[DoItAgain]

The thing is, she didn't consider herself beautiful. She didn't think she was ugly, but she just acted like a 5. Guys checked her out left and right when we were in public, and she didn't even notice, and when she did, she gave them dirty looks like "I'm with someone."

 

[jophil28]

The thing is, she didn't consider herself beautiful. She didn't think she was ugly, but she just acted like a 5. Guys checked her out left and right when we were in public, and she didn't even notice, and when she did, she gave them dirty looks like "I'm with someone."

" ..make a woman feel a different range of emotions.." Holy crap ! There is is !
That is "fridgeworthy", gentlemen .

So if this is true (and it is ), why do so many of us spend so much time, energy, money and thought on making them feel "secure" and "comfortable" in our company .

 

[DoItAgain]

I'm a crossroads in my life. My brief relationship with her woke me up when I realized the implications of it.

I knew women weren't cut and dry, and wasn't naive, in fact studied this stuff for years...but seeing first hand the game-playing tactics (when interest is lost) instead of just saying "I lost attraction to you and we're probably better off going our separate ways". it changed me.

I used to want to just meet a woman right for me and go off in the sunset with her, now I don't even want that, at least for the time being. But at the same time, though I'd like to date women and have sex...I'd like some sort of connection in the process, even if just a casual fling type of connection.

There's no place for genuineness that when dating 20something women that are 6 plus on the 10 scale. Women want hot and cold. It seemed I really had her interest when on her second date I kept commenting about our waitress (who wasn't any better looking than her)...then left my number there. We went back to my house and I played with her tits and she blew me.

I wasn't doing that because I'm a jerk, I was doing that because I didn't know any better. But if that's the type of stuff you have to do to keep a girl's long-term interest...I'm simply not capable and not interested anyway.

So for me, it's flings from now on...get the hotness and freshness of a long term relationship and being in love...and then end it on a good note and find someone new.

I'm certain 5-10 years down the road I'll meet a real woman that doesn't play games and respects a "What you see is what you get" guy. Until then, women are temporary company.

 

[KingofHearts]

dude you've been making a lot of posts and lots of people have been giving you advice but I don't know if its sinking in.

The "crossroads" you're at is digesting the red pill. You took it, but its not going down very easy. You're trying to picture the dream relationship with a girl, but you're frustrated because deep down you realize its not realistic, at least at this point in your life. Also, you see how much work its going to take to get there.

My opinion after seeing your posts over the last month - the fact you want a girl so bad is a sign that you shouldn't have one right now. Read that again if it didn't sink in... So many guys throw away their identity to bond with a girl. They sacrifice their time, money, energy and eventually their happiness to get a decent looking girl. That's weak man behavior. And you're heading down that road. Even if you did get a hot girl to like you and have a relationship under your conditions, you wouldn't be ready for her. She would eat you alive.


You: "I'm certain 5-10 years down the road I'll meet a real woman that doesn't play games and respects a "What you see is what you get" guy. Until then, women are temporary company."

All women are temporary company. Every single person in your life is temporary company. Your dream of meeting a "real woman" is a mirage in the desert. Your above statement is an indication that you haven't accepted the reality you've been "studying for years". We live by imperfect laws and live with imperfect people. So you're bound to be disappointed by any fairytale aspirations left in you.

I wish some of my friends could get on this website so I can tell them the same thing. That's why your posts kind of hit home with me. I understand what you're saying and what your looking for. Unfortunately, the world is not what we thought it was. When people discover this, they use it as an excuse to pursue selfish endeavors forsaking everyone in their path. This is not the only option left after discovering the nature of men and women. At least you're here, searching for answers. That's a lot more than I can say for some of friends that are completely stuck in their fantasyland ideals waiting for a princess that land in their lap. Reality is, if a great girl did fall into their hands, they wouldn't know what to do with her anyway.

 

[jophil28]

However, as soon as she lost interest, she turned into a typical woman. Wanting to be friends and hang out, then getting mad when we hung out and I tried to kiss her...playing the ignore game on the phone hoping I'd get the hint...being cold and rude in general when we did talk...all of the sure-tale signs.

So if these are "sure-tale signs ", why did you continue to see her?

Indeed, the behaviors that you described are typical of how woman send messages of low interest. That is how they communicate. 'Covert' is their preference.
Is it her "fault" that she acted like a woman, or is it really your job to read the signals and walk away when she ceases to be a woman who enhances your life ?

 

[squirrels]

As long as you guys continue to catch feelings for girls like this, you will continue to be confused.

If she is still on "speaking terms" with a guy who STOLE 4 GRAND FROM HER TO BUY DRUGS, don't you think you might want to reconsider being in "a relationship" with someone like this? Is the p***y THAT good??

This is why this forum has gone to crap. Then there's guys like this:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=177330

...who admit openly that they're dating attention-wh0res, yet STILL allow themselves to be sucked into relationships. And then come on here and say, "Smack some sense into me!"

NO. It is NOT our job to force you to do the right things for yourselves. This is the MATURE MAN forum, show some maturity and take some GODDAM RESPONSIBILITY for your dating behavior!!

Seriously...WHAT IS WRONG with you people?? Why do you continue to punish yourselves by getting all "involved" with classless slvts? Why do you give them so much credit? They are f**k-toys. That's all. Stop trying to turn hos into homegirls.

If you are banging a girl who is making your life miserable, you are NO BETTER OFF than the chump who is miserable because he WISHES he was banging her. You are still a miserable wreck who refuses to stick up for himself and show some backbone...you're still controlled by what SHE says and does.

Being in a relationship does not make you "mature". Middle-school kids get in "relationships". In fact, it is the pinnacle of "immaturity" to be dependent on another person (in this case emotionally and socially) who is having unhealthy effects on your life.

All the stress, conflict, etc you feel in these sh!tty "relationships" are life trying to TEACH YOU A LESSON. Why don't you shut up, stop being so self-important, and try LEARNING the lesson instead of whining and asking for advice you're not going to follow anyway?

This is why all the "original DJs" have left this forum to rot.

[/rant] OK I'm done.

 

[Kailex]

OP:

For someone who seemed to "understand men"... she didn't seem to understand that her ex was a deadbeat and a complete loser.
I'm sorry, but she wasn't any different from the norm. She didn't turn into the typical woman... she always WAS.

You just failed to see the signs from the beginning.

Just because she said certain things, doesn't make her any different than anyone else. You just placed her on a small pedestal and then it came crashing down on you.

Sorry, but a woman that is hung up on a loser ex that stole from her... is not a woman "worthy of a relationship".


And to answer your question, not ALL decent looking women are the same. Don't deal in absolutes.

 

[mrRuckus]

She seemed to "understand men." Like we'd fool around and she'd say "Are you happy you got to play with my boobs?"

Whoa whoa whoa... hold up here... men like boobs? Deep thinker there.

 

[vatoloco]

Whoa whoa whoa... hold up here... men like boobs? Deep thinker there.

The hell!? If a girl told me that (obviously she's trying to place herself higher than you in the value scale), I'd come back with "Yes, they're nice to play with. But they could be a little [smaller/bigger/firmer/etc]"

Let's see if she tries that one again.

 

[DoItAgain]

Jophil...I wasn't aware at the time of the signs. I gave her more credit than she deserved and figured she'd politely say "I lost attraction to you but good luck." (Yes I now know most women aren't mature enough for that and it doesn't work that way.)

As for the other stuff...I'm not sure what you're reading. I'm not looking for an LTR. In fact, my heart is locked up, and it would take more than a pretty face to open it out of the vault.

I just want casual female company...hanging out, talking about casual stuff, having sex, etc., only I don't want to lie about it or be a slimy player about it. I realize there's a certain amount of game involved in any interaction, and I'm willing to do that, but I'm not willing to mislead a girl into thinking I want a relationship or I'm love with her to get sex.

And you don't have to have it all figured out to have a friends with benefits, otherwise most guys here would never get laid, contrary to how much they think they have it all together.