Approaching

[andrew57]

Hey everyone I have been reading this site for a bit now, but this is my first time posting. Alright here is my situation, I have had a girlfriend for the past three years until this summer when she broke up with me. It was hard but I am over it now.
I go to a major university where there is just girls everywhere. It is so nice I never want to graduate. So I am a senior and have never been single at school and now is my chance.

Well here is my situation, there was this one girl that was in one of my classes last year and I had a little of a thing for, I always wanted to talk to her, I probably should have but I had a girlfriend. It was a big class so I don't know if she even noticed me. Well I have seen her on campus a few times, like the computer lab and just walking to class. I really want to approach her, but I have been out of the game for a while and don't know what to say to break the ice. How would I approach her and what should I say?

I am what you guys call an afc. I have read the bible and there is some great stuff in there. Hopefully I will achieve DJ status one day. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

 

[cgraz]

If you want to approach women, you need to stop thinking so hard. Planning out what to say and how you're going to say is only going to make you crash and burn. It's extremely obvious to women when a man is trying to hard.

What you need to do is come up with openers on the spot. Openers, unlike pick-up lines are NOT canned. When you see a girl you want to approach, you come up with somethign on the spot that has to do with the situation/scenario. Basically it's with what's going on. You can be ****y/funny if you can come up with something, but it's not necessary on an approach.

You want your approaches to be casual and spontaneous. If a girl smells pickup, the bit3h shields go up right away. Then instead of focusing on building rapport, you're focusing on putting down her guards. The best way to beat the bit3h shield is to make sure it never goes up!

So let's say you're walking around campus and see an HB sitting on a bench looking at her hair in the mirror and you two make eye contact. You walk right over, and instead of saying, "Hi my name is Cgraz" which would be lame, and obvious that you're trying to pick her up, you walk over and say, "Don't worry. Your hair doesn't look THAAAAAAAAAT bad..." (in the proper tone). You're commenting on something she's doing, and you happened to be c/f about it. If you commented but weren't c/f, it's ok on the approach. You can be c/f later on.

But the important thing here is to be spontaneous!

One of my favorites that I learned from Pimp-sicle is, "I noticed you when I walked in and wanted to meet you."

It's a confident approach but doesn't tell her what you want out of her. It works rather well after you've made EC.

Or if you happen to break the 3 second rule, use a little distance flirting than walk over and say, "I can't believe you were flirting with me for like 5 minutes and still haven't come over to ask my name"

I have a few openers as backups that I'll use when nothing else is there, but for the most part, keep your openers spontaneous and have a few backups for different situations.

Cgraz

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

hey list the others that you have....

 

[cgraz]

Well I've only got a few openers that I either memorized when I was starting out or use frequently. I'll post a few plus a few others that are sitting in the back of my head.

Fixing her hair: "Don't worry. Your hair doesn't look THAAAAAAAAAT bad..."

Flexible Approach: "I noticed you when I walked in and wanted to meet you."

Shopping: "You're not seriously considering buying THAT, are you?"

Young-looking girls (although it doesn't matter): "There's no way you're old enough to be in here. Let's see some ID"

or

"Why are you out partying so late when you know you have high school in the morning"

Calm, quiet place: "What's a NICE girl like you doing in a WILD place like this?"

Girl smiles and says Hi: "Do you always smile and say hi to strangers?"

On girls that are distance flirting with you: "Hi there, I know I'm good looking and that you are attracted to me, but could you maybe hide your impulses?"

or

"I can't believe you were flirting with me for like 5 minutes and still haven't come over and asked my name. Are you always this shy?"

If I see a girl at the same place 2-3 times: "So what's the deal? Are you always here when I'm here?"

or

"Are you stalking me?"

At ATM: "I don't know why you're playing around with that machine. It's not like you actually have money in your account"

Here's what most guys do though. They see an attractive girl, and instead of approaching, their mind starts thinking about the worst possible outcome that most likely would never happen anyways, but they believe and say they don't want to take the risk. They end up passing up great opportunities!

Or, they sit there trying to come up with a witty opener. Truth of the matter is it doesn't really matter what you say. What you want to do is when you see the target, make eye contact with her and hold it. NEVER look away first. If she holds eye contact with you, and especially if she throws in a smile, then she WANTS YOU to approach her. It's as simple as that. Think about it.

If you're walking around and a girl you're not interested in makes eye contact with you, do you sit there and hold eye contact? No! You look away!!! Girls do the same, so if she holds EC, then take it as a sign that she wants you to approach. And if you get a smile, then wtf are you waiting for?!?!?

Once you've made EC, you could just walk over and say hi. It really doesn't matter, just make your move, and do it within 3 seconds.

Cgraz

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

hahaha man thoes are really good

and i know what you mean about its not what you say,... ive been studying body language and thats 100% percent true.

hey you and i should brainstorm some openers down, hahah

 

[k_hectic]

What about thinking for 3 secs or more, but actually thinking positively? Doesn't this work too? Like imagining yourself talking to her and turning her on? I know, it's very hard to practice SPONTANEOUS positive thinking, but don't you think it would work!? That's what I've been practicing lately although now that I read your 0 sec rule (which I read in the bible), I think I'll give it a try.

 

[k_hectic]

Originally posted by RawkinKaoticStyle
hahaha man thoes are really good

and i know what you mean about its not what you say,... ive been studying body language and thats 100% percent true.

hey you and i should brainstorm some openers down, hahah

Well, he just gave us examples to understand his concept.

But, ironically if you practice those openers or brainstorm on some others, you will be THINKING about them when you meet a woman, thus breaking the 0 sec thinking rule.

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

thats true but dident he have to think to give us thoes examples,, maybe thinking is always envolved... excessive thinking, though, while your in the field, will get you nowhere, i think..


i think like its good to plan out before, but while your out, you let your planning shine