Approaching Women in Gyms

[Frank2500]

Hi Folks,

I'm new here. I'm a 28 year old single male and I began going to a gym at least three days a week since last spring. For some reason, I seem to be getting looks and some sort of attention now from women who normally didn't give me the time of day in the past. I was wondering if some of you have any suggestions in terms of approaching women in gyms. It seems pretty much like a hit or miss location. On the one hand, I worry that if I ask for a woman's phone number on the same day I talk to her, she may think I was too fast and came on too strong. Asking for a phone number the first time after talking to a woman at a gym has worked for me before, but the results have typically been mixed. Sometimes I may not have such an opportunity again as people's schedules change and you don't get to see them anymore.

Just yesterday, I took a chance and talked to this lady at my gym who I noticed seems in the past two weeks is often there on the same days and times as me. She kept looking at me when I was working out and then when our eyes met, she'd look away. Then our eyes would meet once more and she'd look away. So I took a chance and walked up on my way to use another machine and introduced myself to her. I complimented her and her eyes seemed to light up and she kept smiling and laughing the whole time and I felt we had a good conversation. But when I asked for her phone number and if she would perhaps like to go out for drinks, she looked down at the carpet pensively, saying: "Hmmmmmm....," "well...I work, and I don't think my boyfriend would be happy to hear that." So I told her it was nice meeting her and before I left, she asked me once more what my name was and I repeated it to her and we shook hands.

So my question is: When I see her next time, should I just sit quiet and act as if I haven't talked to her before? Should I just walk past her smiling and waving, or should I still walk up to her and this time merely engage in a brief, freindly-type conversation? The risk with gyms is that you don't want to make yourself cheap running around talking to one woman and the other and perhaps not being successful, and then losing respect in the end. People gossip. I'd appreciate some feedback.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

I wish someone could give me some pointers on my post above.

 

[Tyron]

Im fairly certain you shouldnt try to hit her anymore, atleast not actively. I would still talk to her and exchange couple words here and there, if not for nothing else than promoting your social skills etc. to other women in gym. (like you said, this is a very delicate place to go whoring around.. ^^) One day she'll say that she left her bf and asks what are you doing this weekend, or not, but I would kinda leave it to hang in there.

 

[SamePendo]

People gossip.

No. Women and girly men do. You do not care about "gossip" ok?


My gym thread. Look for my first and third post.

Try out what I put. You also have some problems with women and are pedestializing them. Read the bible all over again, and get it in your head that, as one users sig says "girls are horny!".

Also, one from my collection:

Read this after reading the bible again. . . . or now, and bump it to illuminate guys here.

Any doubts I'll be happy to help.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

The fact that she said she has a "boyfriend" can take it two different ways. I suggest you consider it an opportunity to keep talking to her in a friendly way, yet find out just how real and/or legitimate that "boyfriend" of her is. You will only find out by talking to her. Yet don't dwell on this particular one. As somebody said above, use it as social proof.

BTW, great job at reading the signs that there was initial attraction. For future approaches, find out what her social status is, by engaging her in conversation, before asking her for her phone number and/or inviting her out for drinks. If her attraction is still there, or if it is increased, she will make it known that she is available.

 

[danielzxc]

It's really not that big a deal man. That's why you're not getting many replies.

There's a guy at my gym (a very big and popular gym, packed at 6-7ish) who is always trying to pick up girls. He does it in front of everyone. People "gossip" about him, but in a positive way -- they think he's pretty cool. (Not sure what the chicks think of him -- but who cares what THEY think!)

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

You guys are great on here. Thanks for the feedback. To the poster who suggested that for future approaches I attempt to find out the womens' social status (single or not) by engaging them in conversation, can you give me some examples of things or questions that I could use to help me figure that out?

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Samependo, you're definitely on target in the sense that I've had quite a few problems in general with American women. I was curious to know what you think these problems are and what you mean by the word "pedestrializing" them?

 

[SamePendo]

Pedestializing: Putting them in a pedestal. Worshiping them.

Are you not from the US?

 

[Frank2500]

Re;

No, Sampendo. I'm from Central Africa. In terms of pedestrializing, don't you generally have to compliment a woman on some attribute at least on the first approach/move? I understand that too many compliments then becomes putting them on a pedestal. What's the best way to balance it so that you're not coming across as over-complimenting/worshipping them and being needy?