approaching -- the mental difference with and without a wing

[jond]

I've noticed with a wing, I can approach anyone, no matter how hot they are, without a problem. Its almost easy.

However when I'm by myself, approaching seems 100x harder.

I have two theories:
1. When youre with a wing, youre so busy talking and looking for targets, you dont have time to do any negative self thought.
2. You feel less fear doing ANYTHING when with 1 or more people. Its a belief that there is strength in numbers, etc.


Anyone have any other theories?

 

[Paintballguy]

You also have the incentive to impress your friends or to backup a challenge.

 

[TheNonPedant]

so true...now that I think about it....I'm the same way.....

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I think it has to do with some kind of deep down feeling to impress people????

because other people are impressed when you are able to approach people....and I like that feeling of impressing them

however, I do approach chicks I'm attracted to ....I only don't really talk to other people that I would have if I was with others...

strange...

 

[jond]

Originally posted by Paintballguy
You also have the incentive to impress your friends or to backup a challenge.

Good point. That probably is part of it...

 

[LADawg49]

Not neccessarily true. It depends who you hang out with. In my case, most of my friends happen to be hardcore AFC's and when I go with them and try to talk to the ladies, they all think im stupid for approachin a stranger, they think she's out of my league, and that ill automatically get shut down. Yet these guys have never got laid and are basically jackin off to porn. When I go by myself, my game is tight and I can approach the way I want to approach.

 

[PocoDiablo]

Don't forget the fact that if you get shot down, you don't have to stand in the corner alone. You can just go hang out with your wing, say something, and then the two of you start laughing. She'll wonder what's up, you'll be having fun again.

 

[Dukester]

not trying to be negative here, but w/ a wingman it makes rejection a lot worse!
but a fellow wingman/dj shouldnt make fun of ya too much about it- cuz if ya DJ then you dont care a/b petty stuff, and you try and help ya friend

 

[PeeGee]

Why would AFCs be so negative? I understand being apprehensive doing something you're not comfortable with (if all my friends wanted to start a street fight with a bunch of strangers I would object), but it's something they secretly want to do too, ,right? I would imagine that they would welcome the chance to see it done.

Unless of course your friends see you as their social equal...

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by PeeGee
Why would AFCs be so negative? I understand being apprehensive doing something you're not comfortable with (if all my friends wanted to start a street fight with a bunch of strangers I would object), but it's something they secretly want to do too, ,right? I would imagine that they would welcome the chance to see it done.

Unless of course your friends see you as their social equal...

im pretty sure they know they dont got the balls to do it. thats why they try to put u down with negative thoughts.
they'd rather see you not succeed than succeed. probably seeing you get shotdown by a HB would make their day.
only the low confident low self esteem afc would like to see that happen, as i knew a few in the past who liked to criticise negativity on friends

 

[evolvingnerd]

Originally posted by ScrewIt
im pretty sure they know they dont got the balls to do it. thats why they try to put u down with negative thoughts.
they'd rather see you not succeed than succeed. probably seeing you get shotdown by a HB would make their day.
only the low confident low self esteem afc would like to see that happen, as i knew a few in the past who liked to criticise negativity on friends

ya hit the nail on the head
i'm slowly rejecting these types of ppl as my friends
fvck em, the stupid losers

 

[TheNonPedant]

Whoa!!!!!!

I think I solved....some deep thinking here:

It has to do with your being comfortable with your sexual energy....and not shying away from it!!

bear with me....

Because when you are with your wings or friends, approaching doesn't seem serious...you do it for fun....if you hook up great, but if not oh well.

But when your alone....it becomes more serious because there's no one to have fun with....and you have to utilize your sexual energy to approach...

Therefore...people not comfortable with their sexual energy don't approach....thinking that they are imorale for wanting to approach a chick because she turns you on.

So basically, the differing mentality lies within your own comfort in your sexual energy.

Hope it made sense