Alright so I'm the average junior in highschool, I've got plenty of friends, I look good (sounds arrogant but it's what I've been told) and likable. So no issues there. The issue is I dont really know how to actually approach girls in highschool. I feel like its a huge process of getting to know friends of friends etc. but there has to be an easier way that's less awkward than walking up to a girl in the hall you've never met and saying hey what's up... Let's face it, that's awkward and you always hear girls talking about "that creepy guy". I'm just trying to get some feedback on what works and what doesn't in a highschool environment.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Approaching in school?
- Thread starter Gamemasta
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Jack Wealthy
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2010
- Messages
- 819
- Reaction score
- 10
Awkward=sexual tension. Risk creepy.
No, seriously, what do you want? Some super-dooper line that has no risk yet high reward? The higher risk the higher reward. Otherwise everyone would use stupid opinion openers.
The best way to go up is with something you find fun. That's why so much of this stuff exists, for so many different people. I relish in new people so "Hey, sup" works for me because it is sincere and congruent. I also like "Hey, what's crackalackin'?" because I find that hilarious. Just entertain yourself and take the interaction where you want it. The interaction is fluid, the opener is ust a part of it.
No, seriously, what do you want? Some super-dooper line that has no risk yet high reward? The higher risk the higher reward. Otherwise everyone would use stupid opinion openers.
The best way to go up is with something you find fun. That's why so much of this stuff exists, for so many different people. I relish in new people so "Hey, sup" works for me because it is sincere and congruent. I also like "Hey, what's crackalackin'?" because I find that hilarious. Just entertain yourself and take the interaction where you want it. The interaction is fluid, the opener is ust a part of it.
LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
Yeah that's it. The opener isn't as big a deal as people make it out to be. I suck at opening and still get girls every once in a while (when I open girls at parties, it's always "Hi, I'm Josh" unless it's something related to the surroundings). A girl won't remember your awkward opener if she's thinking about how hot you are all day afterward.Jack Wealthy said:
It can help if you are doing something you enjoy. If you play basketball, girls are gonna love you when youre sweaty with a ball in your hand. It shows them something about you, and you exude confidence after doing something you're good at. (Dont let that stop you at other times!)
If you're looking for some magic technique to sidestep awkwardness, you won't find it here.
Yea Game I'm on the same boat as you on all that stuff. Whenever I start to mack, I just like to have a close friend around because it a) increases confidence and makes you more outgoing. and b) you have someone to say "shes a ***** anyway dude hahaha" to and bounce back and not dwell on it.
TheVirtualMind
Master Don Juan
It's going to be awkward, regardless. Like the other posters have said, there is no "magic formula."Gamemasta said:
Either become friends with her friends, or just go talk to her. Hell, when I was in High School, I used to have friends in some other social groups who could, more or less, put a "bug" in the girls ear about me. That way, if things were positive, I'm already a glowing god in her eyes...If not, oh well, not like I'd ever know what she said and then see her two years later begging me to date her because of my social status.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Bro, whether you are perceived as the creepy kid coming up to you randomly or the super cool dude that seems really interesting is entirely in your attitude and body language.
Don't walk up and act like a little *****. Be a man, picture that girl sitting there masturbating to your image with a vibrator. Picture her body shaking all the **** over her bed and she can't stop. That's cause of you.
I don't give a tit**** about whether or not there is a proper opener. I walk up to the stranger say, What's your name with a big smile on my face and a relaxed aura around me. Or I say, hey my name is Ryan and offer my hand. That's simple and you don't need a ****ing opener.
Me: Hi, I'm Ryan!
HB: Oh, why uh, hello!
Me: You know, I've seen you but I don't know your name and I know almost everyone at this school so I couldn't forget about you. ( or perhaps you're too pretty to pass up.)
Probably will blush shyly. Then just start a conversation.
Or be like:
Hey you, what's your name?
Uh, hi im samantha.
I just wanted to say you have the coolest necklace/earrings/ bracelet. ( Is that turquoise in your earring? Turqouise is the ****)
JUST DO IT. Then be light hearted and try to make her laugh. Don't think too hard, or think at all. Just walk up as the guy that she should know.
If she's a *****, **** her and go talk to another girl. Girl's love to talk and you can get them yapping with the simplest question.
But if you want to use an opener, which is reccomended, LOOK AROUND. Opener's are EVERYWHERE. I repeat EVERYWHERE. EVERYTHING IS AN OPENER.
"See her hurrying? My your walking fast, you late for class? You know it's naughty to be tardy."
Weather's been freaking weird?
"It's ****ing winter and the sun is still shining and it's 80 degrees out, can you believe this ****?"
See her carrying an economics book?
" You taking economics? ****, I hated that teacher. Or that class was the death of me." (HS students unless they are antisocial nerds will always sympathize with someone talking crap about education.)
Remember:
OPENERS ARE EVERYWHERE.
Plus situational openers are always better cause they flow more with the environment and the mindframe of the girl.
Don't walk up and act like a little *****. Be a man, picture that girl sitting there masturbating to your image with a vibrator. Picture her body shaking all the **** over her bed and she can't stop. That's cause of you.
I don't give a tit**** about whether or not there is a proper opener. I walk up to the stranger say, What's your name with a big smile on my face and a relaxed aura around me. Or I say, hey my name is Ryan and offer my hand. That's simple and you don't need a ****ing opener.
Me: Hi, I'm Ryan!
HB: Oh, why uh, hello!
Me: You know, I've seen you but I don't know your name and I know almost everyone at this school so I couldn't forget about you. ( or perhaps you're too pretty to pass up.)
Probably will blush shyly. Then just start a conversation.
Or be like:
Hey you, what's your name?
Uh, hi im samantha.
I just wanted to say you have the coolest necklace/earrings/ bracelet. ( Is that turquoise in your earring? Turqouise is the ****)
JUST DO IT. Then be light hearted and try to make her laugh. Don't think too hard, or think at all. Just walk up as the guy that she should know.
If she's a *****, **** her and go talk to another girl. Girl's love to talk and you can get them yapping with the simplest question.
But if you want to use an opener, which is reccomended, LOOK AROUND. Opener's are EVERYWHERE. I repeat EVERYWHERE. EVERYTHING IS AN OPENER.
"See her hurrying? My your walking fast, you late for class? You know it's naughty to be tardy."
Weather's been freaking weird?
"It's ****ing winter and the sun is still shining and it's 80 degrees out, can you believe this ****?"
See her carrying an economics book?
" You taking economics? ****, I hated that teacher. Or that class was the death of me." (HS students unless they are antisocial nerds will always sympathize with someone talking crap about education.)
Remember:
OPENERS ARE EVERYWHERE.
Plus situational openers are always better cause they flow more with the environment and the mindframe of the girl.
Right I get what you guys are saying I just feel like its easier said than done. And I know it seems like I'm looking for excuses NOT to initiate a conversation but I'm sure you all know of the pre existing social circles in highschool. Usually people aren't that accepting of a stranger and it would be helpful to get a firsthand story on how someone had approached as a stranger and was successful in it.
Jack Wealthy
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2010
- Messages
- 819
- Reaction score
- 10
Alright. I had very few friends in year 8, year nine I was moved to a class with none. So I started talking to different people who I started spending lunch and recess with them. Then the same happened in year eleven. I just relaxed and talked casually.
Nino-Tk
Master Don Juan
Most of my cold approaches have been at school, been rejected and accepted. I have never got that 'creepy guy' vibe, just be chill.
"Hi, who are you?"
"Hey, do I know you from somewhere? No? Oh, who are you then?"
"Woahh, that's so cool! How come I haven't met you before"
Just some suggestions. Just have fun with it and not give a ****. If you do, it just gives off a great vibe.
"Hey, do I know you from somewhere? No? Oh, who are you then?"
"Woahh, that's so cool! How come I haven't met you before"
Just some suggestions. Just have fun with it and not give a ****. If you do, it just gives off a great vibe.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.