"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Approaching a woman at the beach

El Jefe

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This past weekend I was at the beach. This girl was eyeing me a lot, but being as I was on vacation with my family (and was with my little bro and sis in the ocean), I decided against approaching her. (I just dont feel comfortable spitting game to a chick in front of my parents either.. who were right there getting some sun.)

I definately know she was interested, because everytime I turned around she would be looking at me, or glancing at me with a sly smile.. If I did approach her though, how can I initiate a convo that can last and build rapport to see them again later, if I had the time to get away?

I know the whole go up to 'em, and see what's up.. but where would you exactly go from there, knowing that they've been having their eye on you?

Me: Whatsup?
You: Nothing.
Me: Can't take your eyes off me, huh?!?!


You get the picture... so yeah.... advice? suggestions? tips? anything?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MotownMack

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In general, the rules don't change much depending on the venue itself (there are obvious exceptions-work, funerals, etc).

But as long as the location is one that is acceptable to for you to approach woman, the method you will read all over this board are pretty much the same.

You definitely need to work on a better approach than "Hi" or "What's up". Ideally, something that isn't conveying "Hey, I'm hitting on you" is best at first. It could be anything, even a joke.

You: Hey, did you just see a naked guy run past here?
Her: Omg, no!
You (grabbing the waist band on your trousers like you're about to pull them down): Do you want to?

Ok, it doesn't have to be that cheesy, I just made that up for fun, but ideally ask her something that doesn't sound like a come on, that she is likely to respond to you.

One other caveat, that reflects my person style, but other DJ's may disagree with. I am not a fan of walking clear across a room (or beach) to approach someone, unless you've got a pretty good reason to-that can be awkward. If you can come up with a "reason" to be near here that's legit and aside from hitting on her, you will be much better off.

My two cents.
 

MooseGod

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Yeah, I wouldn't worry about being there with your parents...it's perfectly okay to talk to girls with them around. Plus you're on vacation...vacations are different.

Just don't try any cheesy pickup lines or off-the-wall stuff. Just chat 'em up.
 

El Jefe

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MotownMack said:
In general, the rules don't change much depending on the venue itself (there are obvious exceptions-work, funerals, etc).

But as long as the location is one that is acceptable to for you to approach woman, the method you will read all over this board are pretty much the same.

You definitely need to work on a better approach than "Hi" or "What's up". Ideally, something that isn't conveying "Hey, I'm hitting on you" is best at first. It could be anything, even a joke.

You: Hey, did you just see a naked guy run past here?
Her: Omg, no!
You (grabbing the waist band on your trousers like you're about to pull them down): Do you want to?

Ok, it doesn't have to be that cheesy, I just made that up for fun, but ideally ask her something that doesn't sound like a come on, that she is likely to respond to you.

One other caveat, that reflects my person style, but other DJ's may disagree with. I am not a fan of walking clear across a room (or beach) to approach someone, unless you've got a pretty good reason to-that can be awkward. If you can come up with a "reason" to be near here that's legit and aside from hitting on her, you will be much better off.

My two cents.
I was just using that as an example, but yeah, I get what you're saying.

I don't like walking across anywhere to talk either. But she sat literally on the chair behind mine.. and when I was in the water she wasnt too far away (prolly like 10 yards or so).

MooseGod said:
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about being there with your parents...it's perfectly okay to talk to girls with them around. Plus you're on vacation...vacations are different.

Just don't try any cheesy pickup lines or off-the-wall stuff. Just chat 'em up.
I can see if I am on a vacation with friends, but when I'm with my family.. it's a different story. To try and pick up a girl literally a couple yards from them is, in my opinion, a slap in the face... especially when you're on a family vacation. Talking is one thing, tryna get with 'em is another.

And nahh, lol, I dont do that pickup line crap. Just talk to 'em ~> C&F (comes natural to me).
 

MacAvoy

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3 second rule. More importantly stop worrying about what your parents or anyone else will think. I bet your dad would be VERY VERY VERY proud if he seen you walk up to a girl and talk to her at the beach. I bet he wouldn't care if you only talked to her for 5 seconds, he would be the proudest dad in the world for those 5 seconds. I bet you would have made his vacation if you would have talked to her.

Make your dad proud, be a man.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Clarky

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I know what you mean about picking up girls when your with your parents. On my holiday i saw this hb8 girl eyeing me up pretty bad, so i approached her, trouble was she was sitting on a table with her mum, dad, little brother and grandmother haha!

I thought they would give me a hard time, you know how fathers can get over protective of their daughters :p Got the number though...i was pretty pleased under the circumstances!

My mum didn't mind, infact she congratulated me! Hey, atleast your parents will know your not gay :)
 

El Jefe

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Clarky said:
I know what you mean about picking up girls when your with your parents. On my holiday i saw this hb8 girl eyeing me up pretty bad, so i approached her, trouble was she was sitting on a table with her mum, dad, little brother and grandmother haha!

I thought they would give me a hard time, you know how fathers can get over protective of their daughters :p Got the number though...i was pretty pleased under the circumstances!

My mum didn't mind, infact she congratulated me! Hey, atleast your parents will know your not gay :)
lol, word? How did you approach her in that setting?
 

Clarky

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Well she spent a good 20 minutes giving me signals, hair playing ect and i just thought no chance am i letting this one get away :p

The table she was at had an empty chair so i just strolled on down and sat there haha. Also she was in plain sight of two hb 9s who i was spending the night with, nothing like creating abit of jelousy :D
 
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