Approaches

[carmen77]

I decided to start doing approaches last week. I’ve been doing them everyday at different malls, which I rotate. I don’t remember how they all went so I’ll just jot down the ones that stick in my memory from this week. Mainly doing this so I can better analyze my approaches and maybe someone can get some inspiration to go out into the field. I've gotten 3 numbers in about 60 approaches.

12th

Approach #1
Girl working at a clothing store
Her: (gives me some store routine greeting line as I walk in)
Me: Do you give that line to everyone that comes in?
Her: No
Me: Ah so you switch between different memorized routines. Let me hear another one that you use.
Her: It wasn’t a routine. I just like to talk. I’ll go up to strangers and have conversations.
Me: I like doing that too
(short pause)
Her: I like your necklace
Me: Why
Her: I dunno
Me: Do you just like four leaf clovers?
(she begins to seem nervous at this point as she realizes she’s talking to a stranger)
Me: I saw this girl fight outside Dillards. It was nuts. These two girls were fighting over this funny looking guy. Have you ever fought over a guy?
Her: No
Me: Not even once? Anyways, I talked to the guy afterwards his name was George he had one a wife beater, looked a little white trash…anyways these girls were going all out on each other, one girl pounded the other’s head into the ground and during the fight the girl’s boob popped out, normally I’m all for seeing a boob but this was a gross white trash boob.
Her: (Laughs)
Me: Do you guys get a lot of fights in this Mall?
Her: No I’ve never seen one
(short pause in conversation)
Me: You look like a powerpuff girl…bubbles
Her: Bubbles? How do I look like bubbles
Me: Your just so bubbly
(I think I lost her here)
Her: Well if I can help you find anything
Me: Ya actually im looking for a black cardigan
(she tries to find it but they don’t have any, so I say thanks and leave)

Approach #2
Hb 5 Girl folding clothes
Me: Hey, let me get your opinion on something. What wash of jeans would go best with one of those pink shirts.
Her: Dark wash defintely
Me: How dark, would my jeans be dark enough (they were grey)
Her:No, not grey
Mepointing to some jeans on the stand) But a lighter wash like these jeans is a definite no, no.
Her: Ya I prefer light washes with any color top.
Me: Why do you have this anger for light washes?
Her: (laughing) I just don't like how they look
Me: Me neither to tell you the truth, so pink shirt with a dark wash
Her: Well lets see what the other girls think
Introduce two HB 7s, which I'll call A and B
Her: Hey A,B this guy wants to know what color wash goes best with a pink shirt
A: Dark wash
B: Dark Wash
Me: So my jeans wouldn't work I was really hoping i could pull it off
(Laughs)
Me: How about a light wash
A:Ya a light wash would work
B: Ya I think it would too
Me: Looks at HB 5, guess we have a little confliciting opinion here
(they all argue for a bit, then they give me pink shirt and dark wash to try on. I try it on come out show them and they holler at me and say it looks good. But I have no intention of buying the ****ty generic clothes at this store so I change and go up to the Hb 7)
HB 7: So you have to buy the pants and shirt now
Me: (look in her eyes for a couple of seconds) No, I wasn't digging the pants and I was just curious what pants went best with a pink shirt not exactly this one.
HB 7: But it looked so good on you
Me: Your just saying that because you like me way too much
HB 7: Laughs
(I continue looking around then after 3 mins or so I come back to Hb7)
Me: Hey there a trash can around here
HB 7: I'll take it
Me: What's your name
HB 7: why do you want my name (not in an agressive, I'm not going to give it to you kind of way. More like a shy nevrous tone)
Me: Because its my policy if you throw something away for me, I have to get your name
Her: (dont remeber name)
Me: nice meeting you (name which I have forgotten)
(I leave)

Approach #3
HB 7.5 working at store
Me: Hey where do you guys have your necklaces
Her: Over here
(walks me over to the necklaces and I look through em for a couple of seconds)
Me: (I grab a necklace and can’t put it on)
Her: Need some help with it?
Me: Ya, will you put it on for me.
Her: (puts necklace on me)
Me: Now I need help taking it off
Her: (laughs) undoes necklace
Me: (I look at her necklace it has an engraving on it) I call her by the on necklace(name of engraving)
Her: That’s my sister. My name is X.
Me: Older or younger?
Her: Older
Me: how old are you
Her: 17
Me: Do you guys get along well?
Her: ya (she tells some story about her sister which I don’t remember)
Me: I can’t see myself wearing a lot of these necklaces, and who would one buy that bracelet (it was a thick bracelet with religious figures all around it)
Her: Oh, I have that one
Me: (giving her a perplexed looking face)
Her: (Laughs) well what kind of necklace are you looking for
Me: I’m really trying to find a necklace that has a four leaf clover on it
Her: _store has them
Me: How can you be so sure about that?
Her: I used to work there
Me: So if I go over there right now it will be there
Her: ya
Me: thanks for helping me out X..

Approach #4
Actually two approaches but ill condense them to one because they occurred while I stood in the same position while I stood in a line for the dressing room.
Me: (grabs men cologne and walks over to HB 6.5) do you like this cologne
(As I hand her bottle I drop it on the ground on accident, luckily it was plastic)
Me: picks it up off the ground and gives it to her
Her: (sprays it on her arms, smells it) is good
(then she drops the clothes that she’s carrying)
Me: Guess we both have butterfingers
Her: Hablo pequito englies
Me: Hablo poquito espanlo
(end of interaction)
Two hb 8s arrive from behind to try out clothes
Me: Do you guys see that canoe hanging from the ceiling. I wonder how they get it to dangle by a string. It makes me kind of scared to walk under it.
Hb 8s: (they both give me a deer the headlights look)
Me: Ah you must be the silent type
(turn around)

I did quite a bit more approaches, but I'm getting tired of writing the average and below ones, even if there were some good momments so I'll only write the ones that were interesting to me.

 

[ElStud]

Nice. Should've number closed though. Using the story was good and got her laughing, but you should try to not ask as many questions.

 

[carmen77]

13th
I went to this natural spring place with 3 of buds that has a ton of chicks in bikinis.

Approach #1
Hb 8 I see climbing a tree, me and my friend walk over to the tree
Me: (I start climbing tree, but can’t make it the first time)
Her: Use your upper body strength to pull yourself up
Me: How’d you get up
Her: I got a boost from a friend
Me: (I Pull myself up)
Her: now how should we get down
Me: Climb forward more then swing down from the branch. Do you climb?
Her: Ya I like to boulder
Me: I used to rock climb too, but only a rock gym
(she makes her way up the tree like an amazon jungle women and swings off the branch landing gracefully on the ground)
Me: (im kinda getting scared from the heights but I steadily make my way up to the branch while the girl and my friend spot me from below, then I swing off it and smash my toe into the ground, im okay though)
Me: You told me everything except how to land, thanks a lot
Her: You did well, I thought you climbed before
Me: only at a rock gym, here you have to give me a hug for chasing you up the tree now
(hugs)
We talk about dancing for a bit and my friend and her get into a conversation about Colombia and his ex, then she says lets go swim. I follow her into the water. Bad idea, she swims to her friends and I join her
Me: (gasping for breath and greeting her two friends)
They look at me kind of weird and I tell one of her friends that her yellow glasses are nice because it makes her stand out from everyone. I can tell its not going well so I eject. Lesson learned: never get into the water to game girls

Approach #2
Hb 8 sitting on grass reading cosmos. You guys will laugh at this one.
Me: (as I walk over to her) Oh is that the new edition. I love reading cosmos.
Interrupted by a women standing next to her who glares at me. I look at the women
Woman: Can you give me that towel
Me: sure
Turning back to target
Me: I was reading a statistic in one that said 93% of women masterbate in the shower. The other 7% sing in the shower. (short pause) And do you know what they sing?
Her: No
Me: Oh, you must be part of the 93% that masterbate.
Then, all of a sudden, I hear “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” I turn around and look at the woman who asked me to grab the towel.
Woman: YOU KNOW THAT’S MY DAUGHTER YOUR TALKING TOO?
Me: (looking at woman thinking oh ****)
Woman: I HAVE 3 YEAR OLD KIDS NEXT RIGHT HERE. JUST GET OUT OF HERE , LEAVE!
Before I go I turn back to target to see her trying to suppress a smile.
Me: sorry bye

Approach #3
Hb 7.5 sitting by herself on side of pool
Me: hey have you been in the water
Her: No not yet
Me: Me neither I hear you have to go all the way and jump in or stay out
Me: Here take my hand we are going to jump in together on the count of 5
Her: (laughing) okay
Me: 1..2…3..4..5…we both jump
Shoulda learned my lesson about gaming girls in this freezing water
Me: are you here by yourself
Her: ya I came to work on memorizing lines for a play
Me: what play is it
Her: my teacher wrote it
Me: Do you think that’s a bit egotistical to make you guys do a play she wrote. If I wrote a book I wouldn’t force my students to read it.
Her: nah, she’s a really good writer
Me: tell me a line
Her: (getting a little bit shy) no
Me: come on
Her: Sometimes I feel as if I’m invisible and nobody knows me.
Me: (looking into her eyes) do you really feel like that?
Her: Not today
Me: ya I saw you (and the plane crashes ****ty line I probably shoulda tried to escalate but it was hard to separate the distance in the freezing cold water)
I can tell that screwed the interaction, so I eject saying nice meeting you and leave.

Approach #4
Two Hb 8s
I walk over to them
Me: Are you guys twins?
Her: no we’re sisters
Me: who’s older?
Her: I am
Me: Are you guys psychic together?
Her: huh?
Me: Well I have an older brother, and sometimes it’s as if I can read his mind. Like before he can say thought I’ll say it first as if were running on parallel lines. Does that ever happen to you guys?
Her: Ya oh my god.
Me: Lets see if you guys are psychic together, give me your hands.
The one im talking to gives me her hand, but the other one jumps into the water. She tells the other one to come back but she won’t so she goes after her. She tells me to come into the water, but my lesson has been learned. I tell im not getting in if you want to talk come back. Then we just stare at each other as she drifts away and I stay put.

Approach #5
Two Hb 7s sitting down half in the water
Me: doesn’t that bother you being half way in and half way out. Half your body is freezing the other half is warm.
Hb7: No hah, we’re used to it now
Me: how long have you been here for?
Hb7: like 30 minutes
Me: (holding her earring in the palm hand while looking into her eyes) what kind of stone is this its very nice.
Her: I got it from panama
Me: wow, what were you doing there, vacation?
Her: no actually mission work for my church
Me: like converting people
Her: no more like helping the people out
Me: what are some the things you did
Her: we helped build homes
I felt the thread dieng and I didn’t know what to go to next so I decided to start talking about her “energy” haha, I’ve seen puas do it so I wanted to see what would happen, I think I butchered it though.
Me: you have a really good energy
Me: I can tell you’re a very kind and caring person by the aura you give off
Her: (looks at me like she wants me to leave now)
I give like two more sentences about her totally awesome energy, then I leave laughing my ass off. I think I’m getting immune to rejection.

 

[pooparu]

LMAO man, that's ****ing awesome.

 

[carmen77]

14th
Back at a different mall

Approach #1
HB 9 working at store
Her: hey can I help you find anything?
Me: Nah I'm just looking thanks
(i get a white dress shirt from rack)
Me: I'd like to try this on do you guys have a dress room
Her: ya follow me
Me: What's the difference between an oxford shirt and a regular dress shirt
She gives me a 3 minutes speal on different types of linens and their different fittings. The whole time we are locked in eye contact neither one of is shifiting our gaze.
Me: I'm curiouos where'd you learn so much
Her: I graduated from X school in fashion
Me: Oh cool! my sister graudated from X school too in fashion she went to new york to work for X company.
Her: ya i decided to do merchandicing
Me: well thanks for giving the 411
When i get out I tell her i didn't know the shirt was see through
Her: ya a good way to check is if you put your hand inside the shirt and you can see it, its see through
Wish I coulda kept the convo going-- I loved this girl's confidence, but she was at the register and my game isn't calibrated enough to get her.

Approach #2
At an iphone store Hb 8
Me: These phones are so cool
Her: ya (laughs)
Me: Only downside is the price
Her:ya
Me: Here call my phone
She types my number into phone as i tell it to her
Me: did you memorize that number?
Her: (more laughter)
Her: its ringing
my phone rings i pick it up
Me: hey baby whats up
Her: lame (laughs)
Me: what did you buy from X
Her: sandals mine are all torn up
Me: I really like shopping at X too they have good clothes, but its expensive
Her: ya
Her: what school do you go to
Me: I go to X, where do you go
Her: Y
Me: I hear Y is a small city like X
Her: whats your name
Me: P and you are (offering my hand)
Her: Z nice to meet you
We're vibing well and i take out my phone only to realize i had forgotten her name haha
Me: whats your name again
Her: I just gave it to you a moment ago
Me: Im not good with names but (boxing the perimter of her face with my hands) im great with faces and I know id remeber your face if I saw it anywhere.
Her: (laughing) and gives me name again
Me: Z you look like fun, are you fun?
Her: sometimes
Me: give me your number
Her: (laughing) i have a boyfriend
Me: Oh ya? When's the marriage
Her: (more laughter)
Me: Its okay he can come cook for us, it will be fun.
Her: (laughing) see you P

Approach #3
one Hb 5 the other HB 7
Me: hey did lynard skynard write sweet home alamba
HB 7: ya i think so
Me: what kind of music do you like to listen to?
hb7: Screamo
Me: what qualifies a piece of music as "screamo"? Is avril lavigine "screamo"
hb7: hah, no she's trash
hb7: I like metal too: slayer...(some other bands i dont remeber)
me: give me a screamo cd
she hands some band i listen to the sample, its complete trash, but what can i excepect with song titles like angst, siliqouly, monolgue.
Me: thats a great song
Me: are you two close friends
hb7: no we're sisters
Me: Oh wow. Do you guys have pcyschic powers together? I have an older brother and sometimes its as if, before he can say what he's thinking, Ill say it, like I can read his mind.
girls together: ya that happens all the time to us too
Me: Here lets test if you guys are really pyschic together, give me your hands.
they give me their hands as they laugh
Me: I'm going to draw half a letter with each of your hands, first with your eyes open, then your going to tell me what the letter is.
I draw an O and they say it
Me: no this is the real test. Close your eyes
(laughter)
I **** up the letter entirely it wasn't even a letter. I wasn't even sure what to draw i just drew squiggles in the air with their hands.
Me: now what letter was that
Hb 5: it was a B
Me: what do you think it was
Hb 7:B
Me: wow you guys really are pyschic together
Me: you guys look like fun give me your number
Hb7: xxx-xxxxx
Me: so are you girls in highschool
Hb7: ya we go to Y in L
me: ah so your not even from H
hb7: no we're just visiting we come all the time to shop though on the weekends
more convo about ****ty town then i say ill see ya later

Approach #4
Hb 7.5 in line for ice cream
I get behind her
Me: what ice cream do you think I should get?
Her:The amaretto
Me: that was fast it sounds like you're a regular here
Her: (Laughing) ya im a hefer
Me: why do you think I should get the amaretto, X ice cream looks pretty good too
Her: i've tried it its really good plus the bin is the emptiest out of all the ice creams
Me: Nah take a closer look, I think the sherbert is a bit more empty
Her: (laughter)
Me: have you ever tried the ice cream at Y its awesome they do all this wacky stuff with the ice cream when they make it.
Her: ya I like them but the best ice cream is at L
Me: What are you some kind of ice cream connoisseur. Do you just travel the world trying to find the perfect ice cream flavor?
Her: (Laughter) So what are you doing in the mall
Me: Im on a mission
Her: (laughing) oh ya doing what?
Me: Im looking for a necklace with a four leaf clover on it
Her: (laughter)
Me: So what's your favorite fruit?
Her: I like strawberries
Me: I like peaches, I can eat a peach for hours.
finally got to use the face-off quote!
Me: okay, what fruit don't you like eating.
Her: I can't stand grapes the skin grosses me out
Me: (playfully pushing her) your a freak, I love grapes.
She gets to the register and the funniest thing happens. The girl making our ice cream charges her for my ice cream thinking that we were together HAHa. So I'm standing laughing my head off while she's trying to tell the cashier that she doesn't know. It acutally takes a bit of time before the cashier buys her story and takes my charge off.
Her: I bet that was your plan the entire time.
Me: ya i just wanted a free ice cream (smile)
Her: (laughter) well good luck trying to find your necklace thingie.
Me: ya you too it was nice meeting you
Dunno why I didn't number close, but the ice cream was good.

 

[ElStud]

Awesome dude, but where do you live in the city lol? Around the burbs' there's no where to really approach women so the school and the mall are my only real choices.

 

[carmen77]

I have 3 malls where I live and I rotate them. But I think sometimes that employees are catching on, but whatever, I'm not going to be here for much longer. Try book stores too, its not as good as a mall but its nice variety.

 

[ElStud]

lol wish I lived where you live. Only places in walking distance from here are a market and a couple of shops. If you walk a little further you can get to a McDonalds or a Baskin Robins, but not many chicks hang out there.

 

[carmen77]

2 Approaches at book store

Hb 6 by barnes and nobles classics section
Me: Have you read scarlet letter?
Her: No
Me: Ah, a lot of people read it in high school, and I was interested in reading
She walks off I stay and a frued book catches my eye. I open it and read it.
Then I notice her come back and just stand next to me. I don't say anything, she leaves, then comes back again, then leaves.

Approach #2
Hb 7 wearing a harry potter shirt in the teen section of the books. I walk by her then stop.
Me: So why do they call this sections the "teen section". They seem like all the other fiction books.
Her: (laughs) i don't know
Me: Have you read the last Harry potter
Her: No, well I'm half way through but I haven't to finished it.
Me: whys that?
Her: I'm afraid that the it will be over.
Me: So your never going to finish the last book because your afaird of the harry potter series ending?
Her: no I'll finish it just not now
Me: How do you know when its righ tto finish it? Will you get a sign from god?
Her: (laughs) I dunno
Me: do you think harry potter is attarctive?
Her: yes
Me: more attractive in the younger years or later years
Her: later
Me: have you seen that picture of harry potter posing for some magazine and he's trying to act real mature as if he's not known for the biggest children's book series. He has his arms folded across his chest, and a massive bush of hair protuding up from shirt.
Her: (laughing) no
Me: Well I got to go nice talking to ya
She seemed real young like 14 or 15, not looks wise but by how she acted. Really nervous and shy, but it was a fun conversation.

 

[ElStud]

Well I'm looking at those 2 most recent ones and I still think the reason you're not staying in sets too long is you're asking too many questions. Make statements, tell her a story, any story, doesn't have to be good as long as it's conveying your personality. Hell, I once told this one group of girls a story about this who looked like Jesus at a track meet, most people put me down saying "lol your story sucks don't use it" but then I used that story and got the girls to laugh. Point is your story doesn't have to really be a funny story as long as you're saying it with confidence.

 

[carmen77]

Ya that's definetly something I've noticed as well. Its as if I'm making the exact same progress in every approach I make. Every approach has the same basic outline. Its kind of strange, almost like im playing the same game over and over trying to figure out how to get past a sticking point before I die. I used to be extremely nervous and uncomfortable approaching girls, however, now its not a big deal to me; I understand the possibilities. I need to leap out of my comfort zone. I still feel uncomfortable using canned material, opening girls that are walking, opening 3+ sets and sets with guys. I'll try to make a conscious effort to tell more stories in all my conversations.

 

[carmen77]

Approach #1

Hb 8.5 at docotors office sitting down
I walk in she gives me the eyes, I reciprocate and smile. I sign in, and then sit down in the chair adjacent to her, so we’re side by side. Immediately, I engage her in conversation.

Me: So what are you in here for?
Her: I injured my hip abductor
Me: Ouch doing what?
Her: Dancing
Me: Oh really? What kind of dancing
Her: basically everything
Me: Salsa? Swing?
Her: No Jazz, tap, ballet.
Me: Ah all the solo dances
Me: So what’s jazz dance?
Her: Its like ballet but faster.
Her: Do you dance?
Me: Ya, just swing and salsa though.
Me: Do you go to college?
Her: Ya I go to Y uni. but live in X
Me: I’m going up to Z pretty soon too

Her doctor arrives and asks her if I’m her ride, haha. Then the receptionist asks me if I even know her, and I respond, no. She seems astonished, and the other 3 girls in the back peek out to check me out. She asks me if I always do this. I say, “no, why is it strange?” She asks me if I feel really confident today, and I say, “I always feel confident.” This makes all the girls in the back giggle again, and they peek out to check me out once more. When she comes back out, her mom is with her, and it doesn't feel as if I have the opportunity to initiate a conversation. I felt I was vibing well with this girl and really enjoyed her. Had her doctor not came, I would have tried for a number close.

 

[ElStud]

Well yeah man, you're not going to improve if you don't get out of that comfort zone. If anything you should stay away from canned material and just talk to her. Say anything, comment on the clothes she's wearing, is she wearing a necklace? Comment on that, is there something funny about her shirt? Comment on stuff like that. Back in my freshman year I would do stuff like that... infact here's an approach from back then of mine(From when I was Viper)...

[I engage in eye contact with her]
Me: Hey, Tina.
[Tina looks at me]
Me: Hey, Tina is it okay if I sit with you?
[Tina Smiles]
Tina: Sure!
[I sit down]
Me: So... how was school today?
Tina: Oh, good.
[Pause for a few seconds]
Me: So... what are you listening to?
Tina: [She stated a band name, but I can't remember the name of it.]
Me: Oh, that rock music?
[Tina nods]
Tina: Yep.

See all I ask is questions and therefore I get no interest whatsover from the girl. It wasn't until my late junior year, that I started to realize what I was doing wrong. I was going for rapport, without there being any attraction, so basically before you ask her questions, you have to attract her. You can do this by telling stories, cold reading any of that stuff. It's really all about getting her to the hook point, where she's attracted. Something that also helps get her to the attraction point is plowing, which is basically being unreactive to what she says. How do you know when you're at the hook point? She'll be showing interest and laughing at stuff you say, regardless of if it's funny or not.

Now what plowing ISN'T doing is walking away as soon as the girl stops talking, nah, all guys do that. Plowing is where you just keep escalating no matter whether or not she's really saying anything. It's all really deep stuff, but you should look up something called RSD.

Also look out for things called sh*t test man, because if you fail a girls sh*t test, that WILL kill all the attraction. I've gotten close to girls before, but I failed there little sh*t test and so I didn't get em. I don't know this from experience, but I'd guess the best way to get through a sh*t test is to ignore it when it comes and move on. See if a girl sh*t test you and you start to fall into her frame and qualify yourself, she'll see that it's NOT the real you. However, if you ignore the sh*t test and move on, she'll see that is the real you.

 

[jrodbendi]

What city do you live in Carmen? It seems like there are a lot of opportunities wherever you are.

 

[slightoverbite]

i wuld hold off the "fourleaf clover" thing. i dontknow what partof the Us you're in, but where i live the Irish are treatin badly.