Approached, good starting game but then pressed it and REJECTED!

[Logen]

Ok, I was with my a friend of mien at school today. We where talking about girls as usual. A pair of really cute babes was just standing there chatting about god knows what. I wanted to get my friend into being a little more confidence so id decided to walk right up to these girls and try to get some good vibes/numbers.

I get pysched and cleans myself of fear, here goes

Me: [smilies] hay, its you, how’s it going?

HB8: [surprised smilie] uh fine………………[pause]

Me: we had class together

HB8: [pause] [surprised smilie] ………

Me: you don’t remember me do you?

Hb8: [smilie] nope, sorry

Me: we had class together, sociology?

Hb8: sociology no, I don’t think so

Me: really?

Hb8: [smilies] no we never took that in this school

ME: oh man, I feel kind of dumb. Wow, you really look like this girl though

Hb8: [smilies] oh really?

Me: [acting serious] yea, it’s the brown hair, but I guess a lot of girls here have that hair [NEG[

Hb8 and her friend: [laughs] [still smilies] wow, way to make us feel special

Me: oh man, I’m sorry again, I had no idea I was supposed ot make you feel special (I feel like my game is doing good, they’re still smiling, and I’m beign serious) I feel like such a idiot [laughs]

Hb8: [carrign smilie] aww, don’t feel like that, I’m sorry

Me: hay don’t worry about it

Pause, kind of awkward. I chocked up ehre, ran out of material to say. Had to go somewhere so I pressed for a date.

ME: hay listen, I feel kind of dumb about bothering you like this so how do you feel if we go out and I apologize right.

Hb8: [dead serious, no smilie] I don’t think ym boyfriend would like that

ME: [smiles] aww that’s ok he can come too but I’m not paying for him [joke]

Hb8: [getting a little annoyed] uhh noo

ME: well, I’m sorry to have bother you ladies, have a nice day

Closed

We;;, there you go. I think I simply pressed for a date too soon. My problem was that I ran out of material after saying “hay don’t worry about it”. what do you guys think I should of said. I need to establish rapport so she feels safe around me, then I can press for a date or a number.

 

[mikeb1205]

go up to her again tommorrow and tell her you got high before school and you probably came off horrible and that you would like to start over.

 

[DJ_in_making]

not a bad job, but you apoligized waay too much and were calling yourself an idiot the whole entire time

 

[smoke city]

don't worry about it -- you were going to get rejected when the conversation started. it's pretty clear that she has a boyfriend and there was no context for you to even ask her out. you're off to a good start. a few comments:

1. unless you are SURE that you have seen the girl before, the "haven't i seen you at ------------ before?" thing is soooo played out -- that girl had probably heard it 10 times that day. don't do it. Then you mentioned that she "looks like this other girl" == almost NEVER a good idea. you should always be moving forward, trying to illicit warm, happy feelings in girls you meet -- telling her she "looks like this other girl" will NOT do that.

2. you had a small opportunity for a little teasing (though you didn't quite take it) -- when she said "Wow, way to make us feel special." That should be your cue to POUR IT ON!! whine, moan, bat your eyelids, talk in a fake "poor baby" voice -- just totally make fun of the girl when she says something like this. Some women I know say stupid girly sh(t like this on purpose because they want to see if you'll laugh at them!

3. "How do you feel if we go out and I apologize right" (??????)
NO. NO WAY. NEVER. AGAIN.

this one communicates all the wrong things, all at once. First, don't ask a girl "how she would feel" about going out with you. You KNOW the answer to that question, yeah? just suggest something -- "i'm really stoked about going to the museum on wed. to see _____ exhibit....[describe it] ... why don't you come along?"
second -- you first are apologizing when you shouldn't be, and on top of it you're practically inviting her to walk all over you by offering to buy not only her affection, but also her forgiveness for something you didn't do wrong.
third-- you need to be aware of context...when you ask a girl out of the blue like that it's stilted and unnatural. you should be steering the conversation to a place where it makes sense for you to ask her out and for her to go out with you.

anyway, hope that helps -- best of luck, man.

 

[Logen]

wow, awesome advice. i had no idea i messed up so bad.

anyway, you guys know any good opeing routines to run on strange grils? i'm all for BSing the hell out of them.

 

[Bill]

I agree, apologize way less. As in, don't do it.

Yeah, you got rejected... part of life. It will probably happen again, but hey it's no big deal. You demonstrated that you can try stuff out and see if it works, you're clearly going the right way.
Keep it up!
Peace.

-Bill