Approach Mission for Social Anxiety.

[Luke Skywalker]

Based on what you are saying - the bottom line - is I really dont have any genuine social, or even as an extension any real approach anxiety, it's just normal and the lines that I had intended to use would have put a girl's guard up anyway and any normal thinking rational person would probably feel the same way.

If you practise 'approaching' female friends or people you already know, and practise approaching people in social contexts, then you would work up nerves to do cold approaches in public. For me, if I practise 'getting out of myself' with female friends, or even guys for that matter, and starting convos and talking with them, then it's easier to start convos and talk to more attractive females where there would be an 'interest' somewhere.

But if you are spewing some sort of nonsence on an approach in order to meet some abstract quota, that is obviously going to get a girl's guard up, as you are more interested in maintaining a quota than actually having a connection with anyone.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Went to the bookstore in two occasions waiting for my client, but didn't do any approaches. A record was made outlining why - and these are two occurances, one yesterday and one today.

For yesterday -

Demotivating factors: Have a gf in the background so the negative motivation of approach is not as strong as if I had no-one and acted with a vengence. I think this factor is always going to be there and unless I really have no-one, dont think I'm going to be 'approaching with a vengence', which leads to weaker motivation and more lee-way naturally on excuses.

Other Demotivating factors: Is that I"m in the bookstore as a course of business, to meet with a client. I mean unless you are in a place to actually relax and kill time - then that's one thing - but if you are in a place and you have a real purpose, then that's another.

Final demotivating factor: As people have said on here - having pre-set lines and openers are difficult - especially if you perceive you are just throwing some sort of nonsence out at a random chick stricly in order to fill a quota (while she puts her guard up and wonders what kind of nut is approaching her).

Excuses that were there -- two sets of girls - one of them was exotic looking - didn't know how to open a two-set of girls properly so I passed it. My gut feeling is that an opinion opener of some sort would have been the best way to tackle a couple of girls since you are engaging both of them.

Generally - 'insecure' feelings are felt and I thought the openers in mind were too cheesy - all it would probably do is fill someone's ego rather than making a genuine connection.

Will be analyzing day-game at the social anxiety site and see what it has to say about bookstores.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think I'm getting over my approach anxiety written on this thread.


Yesterday and today, I just opened up women talking nonsence, or just anything. Making any remark or comment to open them out.

Today I report a seat-play victory: I was riding the subway today. I saw a couple of hot babes a few seats down chatting with each other. I sat there and frooze. This meant trouble. They eventually left the station.

Basically, once I sit down somewhere, I have a difficult time changing seats in public, especially if I want to sit next to a girl. I'm worried about what other people sitting around the subway will think and what the girl will think. Especially, if they look like they are having fun and have high-energy, I feel my low-energy spirit will just spoil their party.

However, after they left I made it a day-mission to re-locate my seat to sit near hb's. So, I got up and re-located my seat and sat close to a hb.

When returning home in the subway, I noticed this hb that looked like my old oneitis -- one of them pretty girls. Get this, no guy in the subway attempted to chat up this girl or sit around her. Me, being the alpha-male I was, took charge of that, sat next to her and chatted her up on what book she was reading.

I mean, wow, what an accomplishment. I went from being a total insecure guy that couldn't change seats and worrying to what everyone thought, to being an alpha-male and sitting next an hb (literally, right next to her), and then chatting her up.

I was surprized she responded nicely to the original opener. I got blown off afterwards -- but you know what, I didn't even plan to talk with her. That was a bonus for me. Just having enough balls to sit next to a girl and open her has satisfied me with myself.

I'm so happy with myself and look forward to future cause of celebration. I'm good for the whole week.

The best thing also with seat-play is today, I sat by default in a bad seat on a croweded movie theatre, there was this one good unoccupied seat, but I'd have to get up and go through a bunch of people to get to that seat. Because I've built up the nerve to seat-play without worrying about what people think, I was able to get up, go through a bunch of people and get to that unoccupied seat which was a nice seat I wanted rather than watch a movie in discomfort. That's just amazing.

In the future, when I can just sit next to whomever I want and just not care, then I'm on the road to becoming a real dominant alpha-male -- a high-status person can sit beside whomever he wants and not worry about what other people think.

Here's the link that inspired me to write this:

http://www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com/learn/07/index.html

Today, I celebrate this leap forward in approaches.