"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Approach Journal

btownbuck2012

Master Don Juan
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I've tried starting a few of these on here but have never finished them or been consistent with them. My recent breakup has inspired me to give this another shot. I still very much struggle with a scarcity mentality. My goal with something like this is to flip switch it to an abundance mentality and see if I can't start spinning multiple "plates" at the same time.

I've been doing cold approaches on and off since high school. Key words there are on AND off. I'll go hard for a weekend or at some outdoor festival here in Queens for the day, but never have I been able to keep it consistent. This needs to change. Reading stuff like http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/tihashs-daytime-approach-journal.66598/ really inspires me. The goal here for me is not to have this stuff take up a huge part of my life, i.e. focusing on it all the time. I want to get to a point where if I see a cute girl out in public that I want to meet, I can simply go up and talk to her.

Also, I'm humbly asking for the help of guys on this forum. Please BUMP this if you see it not being updated. I have a full time job in New York City and summer is here. I'd like to have some fun with this and see how fare I can take it. Two days ago, this past Saturday, I knocked out 5 approaches. I know I talked to at least 11-12 different women, but I'm only counting the ones that rejected me, i.e. the others simply blew me off without even giving me the chance to ask for coffee/phone number/date, etc.

About me: I'm 26 years old, about to turn 27 in July. I've got a full time job in NYC. I'm not rich by any means but I'm proud of being able to support myself and work full time out here. I'm originally from Indiana. I'm in decent shape. I try to work out a few times a week. I'm not the best looking guy in the city, but not the worst either. You can say I'm about average. Anyway, here it goes..

5/14/16

#1
Was over by union square park and I saw a girl sitting on the steps reading a book. Went over and asked her if she knew the best subway to take to get to The Oak Room up by central park (I had no intention of going there but it seemed like a good opener). While she was looking it up on her phone she told me she was a student at Fordham. I joked about how the Bronx is a rough area, etc. Anyways, I asked her if she'd want to grab coffee sometime, and she told me that she was about to go home for the summer so No. Next

#2 About 10 minutes later I pulled the same move on another girl who sat down on the steps who was eating breakfast. I pulled my same line about asking for directions. Found out she has been in the city for 2 years. She was very friendly up until I asked her about getting coffee to which she immediately responded "Uh, I'm pretty busy". Next

#3 Opened up an attractive older woman across the street from union square park (outside of whole foods). She seemed a bit hurried and out of breath. I asked her why she was so winded and she told me she was meeting a friend for lunch. Asked her for directions and she was very polite and helpful until I asked her to grab coffee and she literally waved her hand in my face. "No way!" she said as she was walking away. Ouch. Next

#4 Very cute, younger Latina girl who worked at CVS. She was scanning something and I asked her "How's the aim on that thing?" Told her I used to work retail back in Indiana and our scanners weren't as "sophisticated" as the ones in NYC. She was friendly and even giggled a bit but shot me down hard when I went for the coffee line.

#5 Went into a store that exclusively sold all kinds of different soaps. Anything and everything you could ever do or want to do with a bar of soap was in this tiny little shop. Cute athletically toned girl was working the counter and I walked in and chatter her up for a good 5-10 minutes. Found out she was from Florida and was a dancer on the side and was working this job to make ends meet. She lives in Brooklyn and said she doesn't like going to Queens (where I live). I told her that was too bad at which point she did tell me there was one place she liked in Queens that made really good doughnuts. I told her we should go check it out together. She told me that she's "always busy". "Even on Sundays?" I asked. "Yep. You could go get the doughnuts and bring them to me though!", she said. Next.

Well there you have it. 0/5 out of the gate. Not a good day, but I'm proud of myself for getting back into it. Again, the key here is not to shotgun anything, but just keep it consistent. I'm aiming for 4-5 approaches per week. And again, I've gotta ask for the date/number. I hope you all enjoy reading this. I'm doing this because I need to stay at my job a bit longer. Not sure where my future lies, but I was recently promoted at work and want to put some time in in this new role before potentially moving to another city. Now that I'm single, I've got time to do this stuff on the side.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear TownBuck,
You may look back and think you have wasted your time,but you haven't...You are learning very fast...Having read your resume about each of your encounters,I would say you have behaved impeccably,sure no results,but on the other hand you have improved your confidence and your ability to read Women...You can't buy that or read about it in a book...Keep it up you will reap the rewards down the track.
 
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