Approach Journal

[LuisGarcia10]

Right;

I initially came here to ask what went wrong in my relationship. It had only been 3 months but she went from really hi IL to dumping by text message. But, to be honest, frankly I can't be arsed to type it all out and it's not going to change anything anyway, just put it down to her being mental. I'm very annoyed with myself for the brief flirtation with oneitis, we've been emailing each other a little since which is obviously what she wants, I sent her a very true reflection of events and she says she never wants to speak to me again, basically that means she knows it's right and can't argue.

So anyway, I want to get on and meet more girls now. I think the best way to get over a girl is to meet more girls. I've always been rubbish at approaching, my mate had to set me up with my last girlfriend, that lack of confidence and self worth may have been part of the problem in my relationship. I have the day off tomorrow luckily, so tomorrow will be my first entry in this journal. I'm not starting my own thread to be self-absorbant or because I think many people will care, but it gives me more motivation to do it and stop me from *****ing out, I've also told my best mate I will give him 50 quid if I don't get rejected 5 times tomorrow.

Any tips? I haven't done this for ages, hence why I was single for a long time before my last girlfriend.

Much love and I'll update tomorrow evening.

 

[mustfirstregister]

Get ready got give 50 quid to your buddy.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

My point is I'm going to approach enough girls to get rejected 5 times! Not that I think I'm un-desirable or anything!

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Right; I'll be heading out into town within an hour or so, simple target of finding 5 women to refuse to give me their phone numbers, easy right?

Anything else is a bonus at this stage.

 

[Chickfight]

You have my attention I love reading approach journals.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Day 1;

Well there is £50 I'll never see again!

First off I went up to the local uni campus, I'm not a student myself but we have one in the centre of town so I thought it would be a good place to start. Plenty of girls around but not many by themselves, I didn't have any money on me either so the few that were drinking coffee etc by themselves, I didn't really have the chance to go sit next to.

Also went round the city centre, not many girls by themselves in shops and stuff though really.

I'm not making excuses for myself, there were a few chances but to be frank I pussied out. It really grates on me because I know I can do this, I used to and I got good responses most of the time. I don't think I'm Bradd Pitt or anything but I get told I'm good looking by girls, just think it's making that initial contact the first couple of times which I struggle with.

I will go again after work tomorrow, going to lower my target to just one approach, I think possbly 5 was a bit intimidating when I haven't done anything along these lines for ages.

Any tips from anyone on how or what to do initially? Just to get the ball rolling, I'm not even afraid of rejection really, it's just that initial introduction which is hard. It must be some kind of phsycological barrier, afraid of looking like a weirdo or something.

Anyone who has been through this, how did you start off? I know it sounds a bit pathetic and proves I'm not totally over her, but I want a date to take my mind off her asap, not in a desperate way, but I would far rather be doing that at the weekedn than going out drinking etc.

All help appreciated, apologies for the pathetic start but I promise I will sort this out, I'm not giving up.

 

[Rooikat]

Well, what helped me to get over that initial anxiety was to develop a realistic reason to approach a girl, and try that first.
For example, I was in a library the other day and saw this good looking girl. Usually I would be a bit hesitant to approach her but I saw that she was reading a couple of articles that are vaguely related to what I am studying, so I used the topic of her articles to initiate a conversation. Well, if I can do that, then why not on something else a girl is reading.
Same for a bookstore. Let's say you have a sister who is into Shakespeare era literature, so you want to buy a book for her birthday but have no clue on the topic. If there happened to be a cute girl in that section of the bookstore you would ask her for advice, right? Well, then if you see a cute girl in the travel section looking at books about Spain why not make up you have a sister who goes on a holiday to Spain? The girls in the Shakespeare and Spain travel isles don't know which one was made up.
Maybe just realizing this will already help you. If not, then try one or two 'legit' approaches first and you will understand that making something up would work just as well.